Wissel79 Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Hi everyone here, I have a question for you. I am dating a guy and he announced to talk. He also mentioned talking about our childhood, which I am not so happy about. The fact is that I had a sad upbringing and loads of traumas. I have been working on loads of them but it might shock him. Despite me having become stronger and wiser? What shall I do? I am gonna run the risk of him finding out perhaps later. I don't mind it for myself but I had really bad things happening for me.
GemmaUK Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Is he pressing for this conversation? It's up to you what you divulge - as and when you are comfortable. You don't need to tell him anything bad. You don't know him well enough yet and that's perfectly fine.
gemmax Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 I dont think you should disclose anything overly personal or traumatic with someone until you are pretty exclusive. Certainly not somebody you are beginning to date. I always try to keep it as light hearted as possible in the early stages of dating. Its also a bad sign if he is fishing for very personal info date one
Author Wissel79 Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 Is he pressing for this conversation? It's up to you what you divulge - as and when you are comfortable. You don't need to tell him anything bad. You don't know him well enough yet and that's perfectly fine. Hi Gemma, I agree with you... I think it is too early for this and I am a little paranoid that he might be doing this to see if I am a potential partner? It would be crude of him to judge me on that, don't you think?
Author Wissel79 Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 I dont think you should disclose anything overly personal or traumatic with someone until you are pretty exclusive. Certainly not somebody you are beginning to date. I always try to keep it as light hearted as possible in the early stages of dating. Its also a bad sign if he is fishing for very personal info date one I agree with you Gemma and thank you. He did not seem pressing me, but I am just paranoid about. He seemed doing it innocently, but the poor thing does not know... anything. He might be doing it without fishing but I am just nervous about it. But who knows Gemma indeed.... I can't tell
d0nnivain Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Just say something along the lines of I didn't have the happy childhood most people enjoyed. I survived it but would prefer not to get into it with you right now. Then change the subject. If he presses share one happy memory if you have one. If he doesn't back off after that, consider that he may have poor boundaries & little respect for your boundaries
Author Wissel79 Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 Just say something along the lines of I didn't have the happy childhood most people enjoyed. I survived it but would prefer not to get into it with you right now. Then change the subject. If he presses share one happy memory if you have one. If he doesn't back off after that, consider that he may have poor boundaries & little respect for your boundaries Thank you.
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