Author gemmax Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 Ghosting does usually seem abrupt, but I would probably throw one more text message at him, just casual, asking what he has going on for the weekend. If he doesn't respond, you've lost nothing. If there's been a misunderstanding or he was waiting for you to reach out to him after your kind of crappy interview, then maybe you've gained something. But let him bring up getting together -- you just lob in the ball. I guess because he was always so eager about texting previously thats the only reason why I am a little reluctant. but I will think about it. He is also a very alpha type of guy, so I would almost rather let him ghost me than appear desperate and have him blow me off anyway. I will think about reaching out to him..
Redhead14 Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 I hope so. I just have a bad gut feeling. It was a 10 day overseas trip, and he never left it this long to text before he went away. It was either every day or every second day but mostly everyday. I guess Im just preparing myself mentally because I have a bad feeling. Plus he works for home and seems to be on whatsapp all the time. Even two minutes ago.. I will try to chill out a bit Make plans to go out tonight. Even if he calls, it will be a heads up that you aren't waiting around for him. 3
Author gemmax Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 So its almost 12am Friday night. He never got in touch and he has been on whatsapp all night long so obviously didnt even go out tonight. I feel like he should have been as excited to see me this week as I would be to see him. I can either: 1/ delete his number tomorrow afternoon latest (as it would have been a full 3.5 days with no text from him which has never happened before) ( he will know I have deleted him so if he did have an intention of reaching out again it would look very hasty of me) 2/ reach out to him incase he thought my last messages tuesday evening were stand offish 3/ not delete his number incase he gets intouch again but not reach out I think I should probaly delete his number. He is always on whatsapp. No man talks to another man for hours, so he is texting potential dates or another woman he is more interested in, yet he cant even check in with me. Its frustrating because I wasnt expecting any commitment from him, I presumed he would be dating other women, I just wanted to be going on fun dates with him and see what happens type of thing. Even on our last date he spoke about going on holiday together to the canary islands. As I said before I really dont think its a good idea to reach out to him (even though his texts tuesday morning were really playful and encouraging so thats why Im so confused). Even so maybe he used my non playful texts tuesday evening as an excuse to ghost me and was looking for an excuse. But Its not a good idea to reach out to him because I just know guys like him when they want you they are pretty persistent about it. Like he was in the beginning. I made my feelings towards him quite clear also. So he's not chasing because he's not interested anymore. I dont want to reach out to him and seem desperate. I did that to the last guy who ghosted me (again an alpha dominant type of guy) and it didnt make me feel any better. If anybody still has conflicting opinions regarding reaching out/deleting his number I would really welcome to hear them even so I might try go on a few random dates next week to try to get my mind off him.
Gaeta Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Yes reach out and see how he reacts. You will appear cligny? who cares, he won't be seeing you anymore anyway, if he's not into you. If you contact him you will have your answer and won't be going crazy counting the hours.
Author gemmax Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 Yes reach out and see how he reacts. You will appear cligny? who cares, he won't be seeing you anymore anyway, if he's not into you. If you contact him you will have your answer and won't be going crazy counting the hours. I will think about it I just deep down know when men want you they will contact you. I really dont want to appear clingy. He has expressed to me before he likes confident fiesty women.. maybe a part of me feels like if i delete his number he might also reach out because it shows im not desperate.
Gaeta Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 I will think about it I just deep down know when men want you they will contact you. I really dont want to appear clingy. He has expressed to me before he likes confident fiesty women.. maybe a part of me feels like if i delete his number he might also reach out because it shows im not desperate. Confident women go after what they want. If you delete his number you will appear passive, nothing else. I will tell you a story that happened last week. My daughter (29) had been on a couple of dates with a man and it had been like 4 days since she heard from him. Every day I heard about how frustrated it made her. I kept telling her to dump the guy and to find herself someone better suited. One night my bf and my daughter were over at my place and she asked my bf what to do. My bf told her to contact the guy and to stop this silly dating game. I went up in an uproar and disagreed with him and went on and on about why I disagreed. My daughter decided to follow my bf's advice and reached to the guy. Turns out he had been working 14 hour shifts. He invited her on a 4th date. After the 4th date she called me to tell me how amazing the date was and that he had told her he wanted to see her again and again. I told her to never ask me advice again, obviously I don't know what I am talking about and she should always ask my bf for advice :-) 1
Author gemmax Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 Confident women go after what they want. If you delete his number you will appear passive, nothing else. I will tell you a story that happened last week. My daughter (29) had been on a couple of dates with a man and it had been like 4 days since she heard from him. Every day I heard about how frustrated it made her. I kept telling her to dump the guy and to find herself someone better suited. One night my bf and my daughter were over at my place and she asked my bf what to do. My bf told her to contact the guy and to stop this silly dating game. I went up in an uproar and disagreed with him and went on and on about why I disagreed. My daughter decided to follow my bf's advice and reached to the guy. Turns out he had been working 14 hour shifts. He invited her on a 4th date. After the 4th date she called me to tell me how amazing the date was and that he had told her he wanted to see her again and again. I told her to never ask me advice again, obviously I don't know what I am talking about and she should always ask my bf for advice :-) That is an encouraging story. But this guy works from home and is a consultant for a bank and even has joked about how much free time he has being a consultant, and is always online on whatsapp, especially for hours at night. So he's chatting to other women and not reaching out to me, a girl who he was coming on really strong to only very recently.
Gaeta Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 That is an encouraging story. But this guy works from home and is a consultant for a bank and even has joked about how much free time he has being a consultant, and is always online on whatsapp, especially for hours at night. So he's chatting to other women and not reaching out to me, a girl who he was coming on really strong to only very recently. It does not look good, especially we are Friday night and he could have made plans for the weekend What I am afraid of is that you are wanting to delete his number to get a reaction from him. It's a very passive move. Why not just move on, try to get a date with someone else over the weekend. Delete him next week. 2
Author gemmax Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 My mind just 100% wants him to contact me again.
Miss Spider Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 (edited) Omgosh so he contacts you again!!! Gemma -_- That's how girls become the "side girl" aka booty call!!! Guy falls off the map, chases other women, then girl deletes number, he gets lonely and decides he wants some sex/companionship so he texts her, she gets all excited and thinks wow he likes me, he gets what he wants, backs off again, rinse, and repeat. Read these boards, thousands of stories. These girls (and a few men)get in deep w guys(girls) who never had feelings for them, using them. You are holding on hope for that? No you are holding on hope for someone he can't be. That doesn't exist. You way better than that. He's already been disrespectful. Quicker you forget this guy the quicker you can find the right one Edited July 21, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1
Author gemmax Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 Omgosh reach out so he contacts you again!!! Gemma -_- That's how girls become the "side girl" aka booty call!!! Guy falls off the map, chases other women, then girl deletes number, he gets lonely and decides he wants some sex/companionship so he texts her, she gets all excited and thinks wow he likes me, he gets what he wants, backs off again, rinse, and repeat. Read these boards, thousands of stories. These girls (and a few men)get in deep w guys(girls) who never had feelings for them, using them. You are holding on hope for that? No you are holding on hope for someone he can't be. That doesn't exist. You way better than that. He's already been disrespectful. but why do you think reaching out will help this situation, if he has shown such little interest since he has been back
Gaeta Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 My mind just 100% wants him to contact me again. My mind just 100% wants a lot of things lol, that will never happen. 2
Miss Spider Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 but why do you think reaching out will help this situation, if he has shown such little interest since he has been back There's nothing desperate about sending a guy a text. Reaching out to talk to a guy is not desperate alone. But what's happening here, the prescedent that is set, there's no way to escape it.,There's too much of a power imbalance "he might also reach out because it shows im not desperate." If he reaches out after awhile, he will be thinking you are desperate. If you answer him and act like nothing happened, he will know it. He's ghosting you while he's on WhatsApp because he's not worried/doesn't care if you go anywhere. Cut losses and move on:( I know it's hard 1
hippychick3 Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 My mind just 100% wants him to contact me again. I would not contact him, but I would not delete his number. I would want to appear that I don't care enough to bother deleting his number and am living my life without him. Nothing good will come out of contacting him now. Save your dignity and find a new guy to date! 5
Miss Spider Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Will he see if you delete him or something? I don't get what's wrong with deleting? When there's mutual interest sex brings couples closer together!!
Author gemmax Posted July 22, 2017 Author Posted July 22, 2017 He's ghosting you while he's on WhatsApp because he's not worried/doesn't care if you go anywhere. Cut losses and move on:( I know it's hard Then its probaly just best I dont reach out, I delete him after a few days and move on.. 1
Author gemmax Posted July 22, 2017 Author Posted July 22, 2017 I would not contact him, but I would not delete his number. I would want to appear that I don't care enough to bother deleting his number and am living my life without him. Nothing good will come out of contacting him now. Save your dignity and find a new guy to date! yeah I guess deleting his number shows I care a lot too.. when is a good time to delete his number then 1
Author gemmax Posted July 22, 2017 Author Posted July 22, 2017 Will he see if you delete him or something? I don't get what's wrong with deleting? When there's mutual interest sex brings couples closer together!! he would know because only my contacts on whatsapp can see my profile picture
Gaeta Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Will he see if you delete him or something? I don't get what's wrong with deleting? When there's mutual interest sex brings couples closer together!! Apparently if you delete a contact on Whatsapp they know because your picture dissapear. OP suggest she does that in the hope that will worry him and he'll contact her.
Bastile Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 yeah I guess deleting his number shows I care a lot too.. when is a good time to delete his number then You shouldn't care whether he cares about whether you care. It's better just to block and be done, if you think you are done. 2
Miss Spider Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 If you turn your focus to another guy you will probably just forget. The only thing that concerns me is him reaching out to you again and you getting lured back in
Author gemmax Posted July 22, 2017 Author Posted July 22, 2017 maybe , I just tend to fall for guys very rarely.. which is why its so disappointing.
Miss Spider Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 I completely understand... I get invested really fast too cuz it's once in a blue moon I meet someone I like. But there wil be another. You're a catch. Too good for this one imo 1
stillafool Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 maybe , I just tend to fall for guys very rarely.. which is why its so disappointing. It isn't just you, it's rare for the majority of people to find someone they really, really like and fall for immediately. But if the other person doesn't feel the same way it will be very painful if you decide to still hang around them. It does seem like this guy is checking other girls. If he were as excited about you as you are about him he would have called you first thing when he returned. I think you should delete him and date others who want you. If this guy does come back it will not be with respect if you accept him. You can't blame him for trying to have sex with you. Being who he is that is his job. Your job is to mean what you say and stick to it.
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