MissyCarly Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Hi all, My ex send me this Elton John song... She's the one who dumped me. We reconnected recently after a non contact period. By reconnecting I mean, messaging from time to time. Last weekend she sent me several sweet messages which I responded but after the nightmare that was the breakup I had to be cautious. The situation went from black to white. I was very cautious and only responded to her messages, which she regretted as she told me that she also expected me to initiate the discussion. Anyway, we were in touch here and there and 2 days ago she sent me this Elton John song "Sorry seems to be the hardest word". I don't know how to interpret it. Is she remorseful? Does she wants to come back. She knows I still love her. Any idea of the meaning? She's a lot into music and communicate a lot via music. Thanks for your help.
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Umm...have you looked at the lyrics of the song? If your ex is into music and communicates a lot via music then this is a no brainer. What is it YOU want from reconnecting with her again?
Author MissyCarly Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 Umm...have you looked at the lyrics of the song? If your ex is into music and communicates a lot via music then this is a no brainer. What is it YOU want from reconnecting with her again? Thank you for your response Michelle. You right, I'd have said the exact same thing to someone else as an outsider. But I did not want to misinterpret it. Our break up was so bad. I mean she broke up and my life was literally a hell for months. She went no contact and asked me to never contact her again. So, seeing the situation turning from black to white, from no contact to that, I don't know how to react. What to think. I have responded yday that I did not know what to think about the song and what to do with that, but thanks her anyway because I like the song. She hasn't answered. I'm now a bit puzzled. I'm still not convinced about the message she wanted to send. I don't dare do anything toward her as I'm afraid she would think I'm again too much into her or something like that. I also know that I have to protect myself because she's not stable at all. I don't know which attitude to have. I'm lost. My response to her might sound cold or harsh but God knows how much I love her and I think she knows too. SHe knows one word form her and I'll be right at her door. So why not telling me clearly that she wants me back in her life? Her song only confuses me...
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Because some people are terrible verbal communicators which makes sense why she uses music to express herself more than her own words. Having said that, if she ripped your heart out and stomped all over it, I'm not surprised you're treading cautiously and so you should. I'm especially concerned with your comment about her not being 'stable at all'...what does that mean exactly? 2
Author MissyCarly Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 She's impulsive. She will say something and mean it at the moment she says it and the moment after, she's changed her mind. We had a passionate love story, lots up and downs. Since couple of weeks she's been coming back, she would, like contact me every day, send me all kind of flirty message and then she will let me hanging... Last week end for ex, the content of her message was just as if we were back together. For me, after going through hell during the past months, I was like "WOW"! I wanted to be more responsive to her, but I could not pass the nightmare that have been my life when she left, and as I couldn't be sure exactly what she wanted since she didn't say it clearly, all and everything I did during these days when she was all over me, was to remain to respond prudently, with distance. Of course I also conveyed messages that made it clear to her that I still love, but besides of that I didn't asked to see her or propose another day (she asked me for a drink 2 times but I was busy). My view on the matter at stake is, she is the one who broke up, if she wants us to be together, she should say it, show it. She should be consistent. I got mad at her and at the whole situation yday nite when I read a post on her FB. She posted a link to a music seemingly that a day friend of hers, made her discovered. She thanks her "Pen Pal" (she quoted pen pal, as this girl doesn't live in the same city than us) for the song. I have to add that, she met this girl in a dating website right after our breakup. I confronted her with that at the time and she admitted it but was mad at me. she Thought I was spying on her and was mad at me. She admitted to have met her on this website but said there was nothing as she didn't live her. But added that they agreed to meet one day. So, if I rely on what she posted on her FB, maybe the girl came here and they met finally... Anyway, I was really mad. I was like why then did she sent me this love song. My friends think I'm overthinking. I'm so confused now between this whatsapp msg and her FB page... I'm lost... I don't know what to think of her post.
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Good Lawd this girl sounds like a big bag of crazy! Perhaps the break up was a blessing in disguise hun. It doesn't appear she's learned much during your time apart if she's going hot and cold on you. Aren't you tired of it all? Do you really want to go back to that kind of tumultuous relationship yet again?? Save yourself. 2
Redhead14 Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Sometimes sorry really means -- "Sorry, I was eating a milky way" -- "I screwed up because I am completely and totally self-involved, and you have the tattoo to prove it". 1
Author MissyCarly Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 Good Lawd this girl sounds like a big bag of crazy! Perhaps the break up was a blessing in disguise hun. It doesn't appear she's learned much during your time apart if she's going hot and cold on you. Aren't you tired of it all? Do you really want to go back to that kind of tumultuous relationship yet again?? Save yourself. Michelle, i know what you mean but i love her and to be fair, lets say this is m'y si de of the story. Iam sûre, she will disagree with that. Coming back to the song, do you think it means she wants to go back with me?
Author MissyCarly Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 Sometimes sorry really means -- "Sorry, I was eating a milky way" -- "I screwed up because I am completely and totally self-involved, and you have the tattoo to prove it". What do you mean?
fieldoflavender Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 A real person who really wants to get back together would do more than send a cryptic song. If someone really wants to get back together genuinely, they would actually reach out and not just play mind games. Don't go for it. 2
Author MissyCarly Posted July 22, 2017 Author Posted July 22, 2017 A real person who really wants to get back together would do more than send a cryptic song. If someone really wants to get back together genuinely, they would actually reach out and not just play mind games. Don't go for it. Thank you! Deep down I think the same!
Maldives Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Dude a word of warning if she broke up wth u wat makes u think she won't do it again if she did it the 1st time? She remind me of my ex wife as soon as I became vulnerable again wth her and wanted her she went hot and cold and wanted a divorce. U can't expect someone who broke u to fix u. Ask her this question next time ask how things are wth her. If she says **** and not that good or anything along those lines that's one reason she's probably come back. I'm sure if life was good for her u wouldn't of heard from her. Don't giv her the benefit of the doubt to ****ed over again. This is a reminder for myself because I have a feeling my ex is about to do the same. They broke up and then wen things aren't going well for them they come back in a moment of weakness and set u back to aquire one wth ur healing. 1
Author MissyCarly Posted July 24, 2017 Author Posted July 24, 2017 Dude a word of warning if she broke up wth u wat makes u think she won't do it again if she did it the 1st time? She remind me of my ex wife as soon as I became vulnerable again wth her and wanted her she went hot and cold and wanted a divorce. U can't expect someone who broke u to fix u. Ask her this question next time ask how things are wth her. If she says **** and not that good or anything along those lines that's one reason she's probably come back. I'm sure if life was good for her u wouldn't of heard from her. Don't giv her the benefit of the doubt to ****ed over again. This is a reminder for myself because I have a feeling my ex is about to do the same. They broke up and then wen things aren't going well for them they come back in a moment of weakness and set u back to aquire one wth ur healing. Thank you very much! I'll indeed keep it in mind.
Bastile Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 You don't know where you stand. And you aren't really going to find out by listening to Elton John. Escalate it - get her out. Otherwise - just leave it. Women really can't hide their interest...
Author MissyCarly Posted July 24, 2017 Author Posted July 24, 2017 You don't know where you stand. And you aren't really going to find out by listening to Elton John. Escalate it - get her out. Otherwise - just leave it. Women really can't hide their interest... This is exactly it:I don't know where we stand. When she sent the song, out of nowhere, I was all confused. I didnr know what to think about that and how to respond to it. She communicates a lot with song, and with that last song I did not know if I should consider it as a desire to get back to me. Since I was afraid to over react, I decided to play it cool and just thank her for the song. I should leave it but my heart is aching... I don't dare to have this conversation. I just want to drop it. Too painful. I cant take no more. But I love her. Going totally crazy.
Bastile Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 (edited) This is exactly it:I don't know where we stand. When she sent the song, out of nowhere, I was all confused. I didnr know what to think about that and how to respond to it. She communicates a lot with song, and with that last song I did not know if I should consider it as a desire to get back to me. Since I was afraid to over react, I decided to play it cool and just thank her for the song. I should leave it but my heart is aching... I don't dare to have this conversation. I just want to drop it. Too painful. I cant take no more. But I love her. Going totally crazy. She dumped you. When there's no trust, just go by escalation. Push to get her out. Focus more on sex. She'll soon bolt, if she's messing around. I wouldn't get dragged into drawn out relationship discussions at that point. I've went backwards for women who then dumped the guy they were seeing straight away. I know interest. A woman who wants to slow you down badly at that point with Elton John and stuff is just low-interest. Simple as that. Wasting your energy, and pushing her luck. But you need to be decisive... do you want her or not? If not, go back to no-contact. Edited July 24, 2017 by Bastile
Ieris Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Our break up was so bad. I mean she broke up and my life was literally a hell for months. She went no contact and asked me to never contact her again. So, seeing the situation turning from black to white, from no contact to that, I don't know how to react. Can't believe you are getting roped back in after going through all this. She knows one word from her and I'll be right at her door. So why not telling me clearly that she wants me back in her life? Her song only confuses me... She clicks her fingers and you go running back...?! I know you miss her and love her but say you do get back together, how do you know she won't pull the same crap again? If you don't want to go through hell - round 2, then step right back. You also have to think about why she got back in touch with you... did she get dumped recently? Some people just want attention and have no intention of getting back with you so don't get your hopes up and get hurt again.
Superchicken Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 What's going on here?. Who cares about the song, she could have sent a pink elephant with a bow tie. What relevance does it have. If she crapped your life away, and pissed the time you did have with her, then why do you want to go back ?. You want her back ?, then what difference, again, does it make what she sent. She could be lying through her teeth, or have ulterior motives. We don't know, but if you want to, then go for her. Just remember, if she did it so easy last time, what's there to stop her doing it again in the future. Oh, and what has she been up to till now... Don't pick "Door Number 2". Pick the exit door instead !. Good luck.. Ted. 1
Author MissyCarly Posted July 24, 2017 Author Posted July 24, 2017 She dumped you. When there's no trust, just go by escalation. Push to get her out. Focus more on sex. She'll soon bolt, if she's messing around. I wouldn't get dragged into drawn out relationship discussions at that point. I've went backwards for women who then dumped the guy they were seeing straight away. I know interest. A woman who wants to slow you down badly at that point with Elton John and stuff is just low-interest. Simple as that. Wasting your energy, and pushing her luck. But you need to be decisive... do you want her or not? If not, go back to no-contact. Wé talked a bout the song and us today. She says she sent it in the moment. She heard the song and thought about me spontaneously. Thats it. She is si confusing in her explanation. I told her i want to stop contact with her. She says if it is painful for me she understands. But she loves me, misses me but she doesnt want the r ship as it was too painful. She still want me to be in her lire, as a friend. I said i cant be friend and that wé should just cut ties. She asked me To sleep over it and if i still want it, then ok. God it is killing me to cut ties with her. It is killing me...
Author MissyCarly Posted July 24, 2017 Author Posted July 24, 2017 Can't believe you are getting roped back in after going through all this. She clicks her fingers and you go running back...?! I know you miss her and love her but say you do get back together, how do you know she won't pull the same crap again? If you don't want to go through hell - round 2, then step right back. You also have to think about why she got back in touch with you... did she get dumped recently? Some people just want attention and have no intention of getting back with you so don't get your hopes up and get hurt again. You right, i see my weaknesses and i hate mysekf for that. I loveher You are totally right! She isdating and is not in a rship. She no longer want to be in rship. Too painful. She hasnt been dumped. She is adamant she loves me but no longer want a rship. But why does she sent me thèse mixed s ignals, I asked, she said she does it as sign of friendship. Which i dont believe. Last week, she sent me the type of msg n pics we used to exchange when we were a couple. The type u dont sent to f riends. Shr is messing with my head...
spiderowl Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Your break-up was hell. This woman put you through that. So what if she is remorseful now and wants to get back together? I do not think I would give her chance to do that twice.
Author MissyCarly Posted July 25, 2017 Author Posted July 25, 2017 Update: She says she loves me. misses me. but don't want to be in a relationship nor with me neither with anyone. She's just want to date. We are supposed to travel together this Friday to a Friend for an anniversary. I've been thinking about cancelling the trip. I even cancel twice. As it is breaking my heart, she's dating someone now and told me she's like her a lot but is not in love with her. She has strong feeling and bound. She says I'm the only person she would say she's been in love with. But after experiencing being in commitment rship, she realized that is not for her. She says, hookups are easy (which I believe true for her), but haing feelings and a special bond with someone is different. SHe had that with me and was hoping that this trip could be a chance for us to relive these lost feelings she is missing about me, maybe we could revive our complicity/friendship (this is how she qualifies our past r'ship now), in view to see what can happen next. Which is very confusing to me. We have never been friends. We met and were lovers right away. Sheonly ensured me that she will never ever be exclusive again with anyone. That is not for her. SHe's been exclusive with me and that did not turn out well. Now that she's free and back to her usual self, she's happy again and doesn't want to change it. If I don't want that, my call. She'll miss me. I felt so bad and wanted so much to call her words. But I kept my cool. I haven't seen her since the break up, almost 3 months ago and I'^m dying to see her, but in the meantime I know that this state of things is not satisfactory to me and will kill me. I want to end things with her but have no courage...
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