Gaeta Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Keep him as a friend but don't get any more emotionally invested with him than you already are. Why keep him as a friend? She likes him a lot, it's just going to make things hard for her to move on to another man. He'll always be in the background trying to convince her he can abandon his fetishes. I don't see at all the benefit of keeping this guy as a friend. She did not know him 30 days ago. Life will be fine without him.
kendahke Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Why keep him as a friend? She likes him a lot, it's just going to make things hard for her to move on to another man. He'll always be in the background trying to convince her he can abandon his fetishes. I don't see at all the benefit of keeping this guy as a friend. She did not know him 30 days ago. Life will be fine without him. I didn't say "keep him as a friend you'd hang out with every day and go do things with". I said: make life simple and stress free: stop investing any more energy into him or trying to get him to shake off his preference.
Author Lorenza Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 I just wrote to him that it won't work out and we won't be meeting again (thanked him for his honesty as well). Doesn't matter if he'd try to get rid of this fetish it would always be at the back of my mind. Besides, I don't believe for one moment that he'd leave it behind. I am 100% sure if we got together, he would try to convince me at some point of the relationship and I'd feel disgusted and betrayed. He wrote that it sucks that I let this define him and that he wouldn't hesitate to adapt to a person he fell in love with.Tried calling me on fb a few times. But I don't think I will be responding anymore. Just my luck, lol.. 3
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 The amount of projecting going on in this thread is amazing. Lorenza, the mostly elder and sexually conservative women chiming in are not wrong in their conclusion that this guy and you aren't probably a good match. However I find it quite rude to suggest he plans on prostituting Lorenza or is somehow a danger to himself or others. I thought he was quite nice and open. Many people do not open up to love interests. I think you should thank him for his openness and tell him that you're not what he's looking for. Why is it that in these threads always such cheap shots are taken at people who can't defend themselves? I have to agree that the idea this guy has any plans to prostitute Lorenza is a bit of a stretch. This is about sexual compatibility. How many threads have we seen and commented on about this very topic? Too many to count because it IS an ongoing and very important part of any happy and fulfilling relationship. His revelation upfront, although might be seen as TMI and perhaps even jarring to some members on here, is, IMO, commendable. That takes courage especially when talking about sexual preferences that go well beyond the norm. I only wish more people would lay all their cards out on a table sooner rather than later. I also agree with Maggie that the fact that he told you, tells you it IS important enough for him otherwise why bother sticking his neck out like that? Again, I have no doubt he may think he can suppress his taste for cuckholding and threesomes and may even put in a valiant effort but in the end, it WILL rear its ugly head. Particularly knowing how traditional and vanilla you are in the bedroom. Sorry hun. 3
Gaeta Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 I didn't say "keep him as a friend you'd hang out with every day and go do things with". I said: You said: Keep him as a friend..... A text friend? A FB friend? It's not like they work in the same field and can refer business to each other, not like this guy has something so special it's worth keeping him around for the occasional hello. When we're online it's not good to keep all those guys around once we are done with them. The other thing is he met Lorenza 4 times only and he's ready to go to therapy to keep her?? It screams cligny and he'll never give up if she doesn't block him
Gaeta Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 He wrote that it sucks that I let this define him and that he wouldn't hesitate to adapt to a person he fell in love with.Tried calling me on fb a few times. But I don't think I will be responding anymore. Just my luck, lol.. It DOES define him!! All of it defines him! All his stories why he likes his girlfriend to have sex with other men, his stories why he likes threesomes, it's ALL him and who he is deep down. 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 I just wrote to him that it won't work out and we won't be meeting again (thanked him for his honesty as well). Doesn't matter if he'd try to get rid of this fetish it would always be at the back of my mind. Besides, I don't believe for one moment that he'd leave it behind. I am 100% sure if we got together, he would try to convince me at some point of the relationship and I'd feel disgusted and betrayed. He wrote that it sucks that I let this define him and that he wouldn't hesitate to adapt to a person he fell in love with.Tried calling me on fb a few times. But I don't think I will be responding anymore. Just my luck, lol.. Do you know if he was ever in love with any of the women he indulged in cuckholding and/or threesomes with?
Author Lorenza Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 It DOES define him!! All of it defines him! All his stories why he likes his girlfriend to have sex with other men, his stories why he likes threesomes, it's ALL him and who he is deep down. Yes, that's what I've been thinking. This isn't something small. This is what makes him very aroused and I doubt someone would give it up, especially if the arousal comes from some deep psychological reasons like the need to be humiliated and compete for what he wants to have. 2
Author Lorenza Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 Do you know if he was ever in love with any of the women he indulged in cuckholding and/or threesomes with? I actually questioned him, if he really loved those women. He said yes. They knew about his fetish from the very beginning and after being a bit reluctant in the beginning they both got curious enough to try. According to him they loved it and felt empowered (well, local women are very sexually liberated so I'm not surprised).
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 I actually questioned him, if he really loved those women. He said yes. They knew about his fetish from the very beginning and after being a bit reluctant in the beginning they both got curious enough to try. According to him they loved it and felt empowered (well, local women are very sexually liberated so I'm not surprised). I figured as much. This is why he's pursuing you as hard as he is because he has a track record of being able to turn reluctant women into thirsty fans of his fetish. I wouldn't be surprised if turning otherwise prudish women into sexual deviants isn't all part of the thrill and something he gets off on. 4
Author Lorenza Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 I figured as much. This is why he's pursuing you as hard as he is because he has a track record of being able to turn reluctant women into thirsty fans of his fetish. I wouldn't be surprised if turning otherwise prudish women into sexual deviants isn't all part of the thrill and something he gets off on. Could be. Might be a part of his conquering fantasy. Though he said he'd wait for sex for as long as I want
Gaeta Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Could be. Might be a part of his conquering fantasy. Though he said he'd wait for sex for as long as I want We used to have a regular member here called Fitnessfan. This was his favorite modus operandi. By saying this to women they usually had sex faster as the woman felt in charge. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Could be. Might be a part of his conquering fantasy. Though he said he'd wait for sex for as long as I want He'll say whatever he needs to say to get you where he wants you sweets. Again, doesn't mean he's a monster, just has particular tastes and an agenda that has proven to be quite effective for him in the past. 3
kendahke Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 I actually questioned him, if he really loved those women. He said yes. They knew about his fetish from the very beginning and after being a bit reluctant in the beginning they both got curious enough to try. According to him they loved it and felt empowered (well, local women are very sexually liberated so I'm not surprised). I'd be interested in hearing from them what they had to say about it. I take what he'd say with a grain of salt. 1
Poutrew Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 If you need to dump a guy like this in the future, just tell him that the only sex you would ever consider is missionary position, with the lights out, and after marriage. Tell him that sex is only for conception and after that it is no longer necessary as you both will be much too busy working, reading the bible, and raising said children... heck, this would probably make most members of LS run for the hills as well, but not all... 2
Author Lorenza Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 If you need to dump a guy like this in the future, just tell him that the only sex you would ever consider is missionary position, with the lights out, and after marriage. Tell him that sex is only for conception and after that it is no longer necessary as you both will be much too busy working, reading the bible, and raising said children... heck, this would probably make most members of LS run for the hills as well, but not all... It was too late, he shared this when we were deep into the conversation about our sexual preferences
Author Lorenza Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 We used to have a regular member here called Fitnessfan. This was his favorite modus operandi. By saying this to women they usually had sex faster as the woman felt in charge. Eh, I can imagine that this works quite well. Makes you want to reward the guy for his "patience and acceptance" 1
Author Lorenza Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 He keeps on messaging me! Just wrote that I opened his eyes about his fetish being unhealthy and f-ed up. Claims he might be affected by porn and whatnot. Time to block, ugh 6
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 He keeps on messaging me! Just wrote that I opened his eyes about his fetish being unhealthy and f-ed up. Claims he might be affected by porn and whatnot. Time to block, ugh I would refrain from calling his sexual preferences unhealthy and f*cked up hun. It may not be something YOU like or want but to boxed it up as being unhealthy or f*cked up isn't exactly fair either. To each their own. 2
Miss Spider Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 He keeps on messaging me! Just wrote that I opened his eyes about his fetish being unhealthy and f-ed up. Claims he might be affected by porn and whatnot. Time to block, ugh You opened his eyes lol this guy's a trip
Author Lorenza Posted July 21, 2017 Author Posted July 21, 2017 I would refrain from calling his sexual preferences unhealthy and f*cked up hun. It may not be something YOU like or want but to boxed it up as being unhealthy or f*cked up isn't exactly fair either. To each their own. I think I clarified that this was what he wrote to me. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 I think I clarified that this was what he wrote to me. My apology, I misread your post and interpreted differently. I still find his response interesting. His belittling and berating himself is often part of cuckholding as well. This guy is a gift that keeps on giving 2
preraph Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 I would refrain from calling his sexual preferences unhealthy and f*cked up hun. It may not be something YOU like or want but to boxed it up as being unhealthy or f*cked up isn't exactly fair either. To each their own. I think 99 percent of the population would say his particular professed fetish IS unhealthy and messed up. Only someone else unhealthy and messed up would be interested in going along. 1
preraph Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Lorenza, don't let this experience make you think this is normal or that you will EVER run into another guy like this again because it's unlikely you ever will. You can do so much better. I don't even like the fact that this guy who's way out on a limb and so experienced is even TALKING to an innocent young lady about this crap. It shows he has terrible boundaries and is predatory, in my opinion. Find yourself someone who doesn't lead you into conversations about sex but just asks you out to do something normal and public and treats you with respect. I know if your father heard what this guy was talking to you about, he'd want to kill him. Any father would. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Lorenza, don't let this experience make you think this is normal or that you will EVER run into another guy like this again because it's unlikely you ever will. You can do so much better. I don't even like the fact that this guy who's way out on a limb and so experienced is even TALKING to an innocent young lady about this crap. It shows he has terrible boundaries and is predatory, in my opinion. Find yourself someone who doesn't lead you into conversations about sex but just asks you out to do something normal and public and treats you with respect. I know if your father heard what this guy was talking to you about, he'd want to kill him. Any father would. Yes. Let's just bury our heads in the sand and never discuss the number one reason why so many couples end up in miserable and unfulfilling relationships. Don't ask don't tell seems like the perfect approach. 1
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