catherine1 Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 Hi, So I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months now. We met on plenty of fish, and he asked me to be his girlfriend within a month. He showed me that he deleted the plenty of fish app. I've always felt like he was so into me and I've never doubted his interest. Our relationship has moved closer and closer and we've met each other families and have holidays planned. However, 4 months into the relationship I seen the icon for the tinder app. I clicked on it, and seen that he wasn't logged on but it asked for his Facebook log in to enable log in. I brushed it off, as he doesn't really use Facebook. However, it still plays on my mind. Should I check to see if he still has the app? He mentioned early on that before he had met me he had tried tinder with no luck. A second opinion would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
Gaeta Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 No, leave it alone and enjoy your relationship. It's just an app he forgot to delete. You trust him or you don't, you cannot be in the middle, that's not trust. 1
scooby-philly Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 OP, That's a very good question. You would think....if he showed you he deleted the POF app that he would delete others....but of course, he could have just forgotten it. As the other two posters say - you either trust him or you don't. You could be honest and say that you noticed it and were hopeful that he isn't using it. (Don't suggest him deleting it) Outside of that - the question is - are you observing behaviors that would lead you to believe he could be using it? Has he cancelled or changed plans in such a way that it begs the question as to why? Etc., etc. But in the end - you either trust him or you don't. 1
coolheadal Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Hi, So I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months now. We met on plenty of fish, and he asked me to be his girlfriend within a month. He showed me that he deleted the plenty of fish app. I've always felt like he was so into me and I've never doubted his interest. Our relationship has moved closer and closer and we've met each other families and have holidays planned. However, 4 months into the relationship I seen the icon for the tinder app. I clicked on it, and seen that he wasn't logged on but it asked for his Facebook log in to enable log in. I brushed it off, as he doesn't really use Facebook. However, it still plays on my mind. Should I check to see if he still has the app? He mentioned early on that before he had met me he had tried tinder with no luck. A second opinion would be greatly appreciated. Thank you Press factory reset would clear up the doubt in your head. Everyone here just doesn't get it. I know the feeling.. Trust or not? You can uninstall the apps if you feel better too or do a factory reset wipes out everything. POOF! All gone now get on with your life with him and stop worrying so much..
knabe Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Press factory reset would clear up the doubt in your head. Everyone here just doesn't get it. I know the feeling.. Trust or not? You can uninstall the apps if you feel better too or do a factory reset wipes out everything. POOF! All gone now get on with your life with him and stop worrying so much.. That does a lot of other things to the phone, not to mention it is HIS property. Being deceitful to prove HE isn't being deceitful is hypocritical and high schoolish. 3
rushed Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 I met my boyfriend on Tinder. We've been together for over a year now. A few months ago, I forgot how it came up, but he said he still had the Tinder app. He just hadn't gotten around to deleting it. I asked how, because I kept getting bombarded with notifications, so I deleted mine a long time ago. He said he just never got any messages so he had forgotten about it. Anyway, I asked him to delete it. Today he forgot his phone at home when he went to work. He texted me from his work computer and gave me the code to get into his phone because he needed me to do something on it for work. I got in and clicked on the things he needed me to. Then he asked me to take his phone with me to work in case he needed me to do get into it again. It's sitting right next to me as I type. Do I want to get into his phone and go through everything? Hell yeah. Am I going to? Hell no. For one, it would be an invasion of his privacy. I don't want to betray his trust in me. I wouldn't like myself very much if I went digging through his phone. Also, I trust him and I like trusting him. When he tells me something I believe him. I don't want to need proof or validation that what he tells me is true. 1
kendahke Posted July 21, 2017 Posted July 21, 2017 Is there any reason for you to believe he is a liar and cannot be trusted? If not, then let this drop. If so, then why are you with someone you can't trust?
Maggie4 Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Either you totally leave his phone alone, or you do a full on investigation. There is nothing in between. Since there is no cause to put him on trial, you can only leave him alone. You can sometimes find circumstantial evidence on his phone that he is, or is thinking about, cheating. But you can never find evidence that he is not cheating, because even if you found nothing, you still don't know if you've simply missed the clues. But meanwhile you've sacrificed your integrity by snooping. So you'd gain nothing while paying a high personal price.
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