Author jgraham11 Posted July 22, 2017 Author Posted July 22, 2017 Did you end up asking her what happened or did she ever wind up getting back to you aftet she ignored your planned date(I thought this was what we call standing someone up, but I guess semantics) Well, PogoStick, was saying that I flaked the second time. If anything she flaked not me, I was all ready to go, but she just never confirmed. As far as what happened to her, I have no idea. I did text her last night. Just a quick text to just see what happened and if I could get an explanation on why she ignored my messages, but she never responded. She also hasn't been back on OKC since Tuesday, so who knows what's up with her at this point I guess I'll just move on from her. Which is a shame really cause from what I could tell she seemed like a good person. I had a few mistakes and whether she knew it or not she made some mistakes as well with her texting behavior.
Miss Spider Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Well, PogoStick, was saying that I flaked the second time. If anything she flaked not me, I was all ready to go, but she just never confirmed. As far as what happened to her, I have no idea. I did text her last night. Just a quick text to just see what happened and if I could get an explanation on why she ignored my messages, but she never responded. She also hasn't been back on OKC since Tuesday, so who knows what's up with her at this point I guess I'll just move on from her. Which is a shame really cause from what I could tell she seemed like a good person. I had a few mistakes and whether she knew it or not she made some mistakes as well with her texting behavior. Well, I disagree with user Pogostick 100% that you flaked twice, and not sure how they figured that at all, but you did flake once. And they have a good point that your tendency to overthink/convolute things and anxiety issues will not be your friends in dating. But it seems you already know/acknowledge this completely. Does not excuse her actions, though. Good luck on your continued dating journey and thanks for following up 1
Author jgraham11 Posted July 22, 2017 Author Posted July 22, 2017 Well, I disagree with user Pogostick 100% that you flaked twice, and not sure how they figured that at all, but you did flake once. And they have a good point that your tendency to overthink/convolute things and anxiety issues will not be your friends in dating. But it seems you already know/acknowledge this completely. Does not excuse her actions, though. Good luck on your continued dating journey and thanks for following up Yup, I agree with that. Definitely something I need to work on going forward. Thanks for your input with all of it
basil67 Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Does not excuse her actions, though. I don't know. After accepting the date, she may have rethought dating someone who already flaked on her. I think this is perfectly understandable. It would have been good manners to tell him she was cancelling though. 3
Author jgraham11 Posted July 22, 2017 Author Posted July 22, 2017 I don't know. After accepting the date, she may have rethought dating someone who already flaked on her. I think this is perfectly understandable. It would have been good manners to tell him she was cancelling though. I'd agree with that if she had just said that after I asked her out the second time. At the same time I don't think she was stringing me along either. Now if she ended up changing her mind 24 hours before the date because I flaked the first time? Well, that would be messed up. When I cancelled I did in days in advance Truthfully, I wish she had told me why she didn't go cause it's hard to know for sure. Maybe she flaked cause I flaked the first time, maybe she's not ready to date, maybe it was the physical part that she brought up about our heights, an ex-boyfriend she still thinks of.. Hell maybe she just isn't ready to date seriously right now or doesn't have the time. I don't think I'll ever know for sure though, so it's pointless to beat myself up over it 1
basil67 Posted July 22, 2017 Posted July 22, 2017 Now if she ended up changing her mind 24 hours before the date because I flaked the first time? Well, that would be messed up. When I cancelled I did in days in advance For what it's worth, I think "messed up" is to strong a sentiment. Perhaps "inconsiderate" would be more fitting. 1
Author jgraham11 Posted July 22, 2017 Author Posted July 22, 2017 For what it's worth, I think "messed up" is to strong a sentiment. Perhaps "inconsiderate" would be more fitting. Regardless it was the wrong thing to do
PogoStick Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 The reason it was odd to verify the date was because you had just set it up the night before. Is your generation so flaky that you can't rely on plans/words that were said such a short time ago? It would be a different matter if the plans were made, say 5 days earlier. True, she may have been flaking on you, but that doesn't justify your actions. Next time it will be a girl who's not flaking, but will be turned off by your neediness to verify. Consider one more thing, why isn't the girl doing the checking on you? Isn't she invested? The fact you needed to verify was already a bad sign. If you're concerned about a girl flaking in that situation then improve your logistics to minimize the waste. Date women who live closer, pick venues close to your place so you don't have to blow an expensive uber. Also, I would have set up the date via a real phone conversation. Texting is easy to flake on. A conversation shows she is serious. This concept comes up here regularly but your generation rarely accepts it. 2
Miss Spider Posted July 24, 2017 Posted July 24, 2017 Is your generation so flaky that you can't rely on plans/words that were said such a short time ago? yes tbh it wouldn't surprise me if he pulled this girl off Tinder I totally agree that the fact he needed to verify was a bad sign. She was all over the place ignoring him after he flaked on their date. He was unsure of himself from the beginning, so this wouldn't really have worked out anyway. You are right that it will happen to the next girl he likes too if it continues 1
Author jgraham11 Posted July 24, 2017 Author Posted July 24, 2017 The reason it was odd to verify the date was because you had just set it up the night before. Is your generation so flaky that you can't rely on plans/words that were said such a short time ago? It would be a different matter if the plans were made, say 5 days earlier. True, she may have been flaking on you, but that doesn't justify your actions. Next time it will be a girl who's not flaking, but will be turned off by your neediness to verify. Consider one more thing, why isn't the girl doing the checking on you? Isn't she invested? The fact you needed to verify was already a bad sign. If you're concerned about a girl flaking in that situation then improve your logistics to minimize the waste. Date women who live closer, pick venues close to your place so you don't have to blow an expensive uber. Also, I would have set up the date via a real phone conversation. Texting is easy to flake on. A conversation shows she is serious. This concept comes up here regularly but your generation rarely accepts it. She did somewhat verify, she asked for the time in a text message.. the last text message I ever got from her Again.. I know this thread was a lengthy one, but who said plans were ever verified in the first place? The day was verified.. I was trying to verify the time and place.. which I never got. I'm not sure you understand the context based off some of your comments 1
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