turnerik Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 I'm 24, she's 27. She's recently divorced. We went in one date that was only supposed to last an hour but turned in to 5. I'm usually a nervous wreck and can't talk to her but we just clicked. Now she's coming over tomorrow at around 10pm. We live two hours apart. I want a relationship with her but I also want to bang her brains out. She already asked if she can spend the night. I've never really done a Netflix and chill, so not sure how it all goes. Need some advice on what to do when she gets there. My place is clean and all that stuff so no worries there. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 One date and you already believe you want a relationship? You barely know her, OP. Pump the breaks and get to know her first, then decide if you two are compatible enough to pursue a relationship. If she's also fresh off a divorce at such a young age, there is a chance she's not looking for anything serious herself just yet either. Wait and see how you two do over the next little while. Netflix and chill is all fine and dandy if both parties are consenting and enthusiastic, but don't confuse lust and hormones for deeper compatibility or serious intentions. Have your fun, but don't rush to label anything yet. For me personally, a sleepover on the second date is far too early, but since you're both comfortable with it, go forth, I suppose. As for how to make a good impression? Yes, a clean place is good. Same for sheets, towels, and so on. Have some snack-type food ready to serve if she's hungry, as well as some cold wine or beer or whatever type of drink she might like. And it should go without saying, but please have condoms on hand as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 Good for you..and pump something other than the brakes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 BIG RED FLAG that this woman wants to spend the night on the second date. And, for what it's worth, BIG RED FLAG that she is 24 and recently divorced (both because of her age, and the fact that she is recently divorced). See what I'm saying... Be careful with this one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 And, for what it's worth, BIG RED FLAG that she is 24 and recently divorced I wouldn't say big flag but certainly a flag, it sounds like he is going in with his eyes open so why not enjoy it. He does need to make sure they are on the same page as far as how it proceeds though.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author turnerik Posted July 19, 2017 Author Share Posted July 19, 2017 I'm 24, she's 27. So a little bit older Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 I want a relationship with her -- And, you know this after ONE date???? You can't know this unless you are myopic. What I hope you mean is that you know you want a relationship for yourself with someone. So, if that's the truth, I wouldn't have sex with her . . . A woman who sleeps with a man on the second date is a) not very conscious of safety concerns, b) not too serious about the guy or, the opposite, she's too serious too soon and/or c) thinks she can sex a guy into a relationship if she's wanting one. Need some advice on what to do when she gets there. - Don't assume she's there for sex. Treat her like you would any guest who visits you and be respectful. Have a very casual conversation at some point about what each of you is looking for overall out of your dating journeys and go from there. If you are seeking a relationship with someone and she's only casually dating, then you two aren't on the same page in terms of overall dating goals and so, you shouldn't move things forward with her. Bear in mind that she is recently divorced and you may just be a rebound, source of temporary comfort and attention to distract herself from the pain/stress of divorcing. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 Sorry, I reversed the ages by mistake. Indeed. You must learn what she wants from a relationship. If she is coming over to stay on the second date, that Reasonable to assume that she wants casual sex. This is fine, as long as that is also what you want... But you want a relationship. Which would mean, you are not on the same page and you could get hurt. I would be especially concerned if she is recently divorced, because it's even more likely that she may be on the rebound. Just as long as you go into this with your eyes wide open... It's not exactly typical of a girl who wants a relationship to want to stay over with a man she hardly knows after the second date. Let us know how it goes... Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 This: She's recently divorced.. And this: I want a relationship with her . Don't go together. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 She is coming at 10 and spending the night. Of course she is coming for sex. There is no doubt about that. Why are you even thinking more than what it is ? I've frequently seen on LS ( not in RL) that some people begin great relationships after having sex on first date. Yours might be one of them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 She is coming at 10 and spending the night. Of course she is coming for sex. There is no doubt about that. Why are you even thinking more than what it is ? Maybe, but sometimes the distance makes a difference. She is staying the night, as driving back in the middle of the night for another 2 hour trip, I guess would be difficult for her and she may not be able or willing to pay for a hotel room. So, it is not a given and the OP should not assume anything, and simply play it by ear and take his cues from her. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 Maybe, but sometimes the distance makes a difference. She is staying the night, as driving back in the middle of the night for another 2 hour trip, I guess would be difficult for her and she may not be able or willing to pay for a hotel room. So, it is not a given and the OP should not assume anything, and simply play it by ear and take his cues from her. True but I would say that people usually do that after they've know each other for a while, not on second date. She could come over in the morning of a weekend and go back in the afternoon if she wanted to. There are many assumptions that we can make for her reasons but this situation, leads to the sex thing requirement straight away. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 She just wants sex. A couple of bottles of wine and some takeout.....enjoy your evening. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 BIG RED FLAG that this woman wants to spend the night on the second date. And, for what it's worth, BIG RED FLAG that she is 24 and recently divorced (both because of her age, and the fact that she is recently divorced). See what I'm saying... Be careful with this one. I think she wants to bang your brains out. Beyond that, i wouldn't count on anything else. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 She just wants sex. A couple of bottles of wine and some takeout.....enjoy your evening. Also: shave the toilet, empty the sink and change the sheets. Have coffee and stuff to make her breakfast. a febreeze bomb won't hurt and have fun! Relax. thinking relationship at this point will scare her away. Link to post Share on other sites
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