Soulmate Friendships?

[swedeace]

Does anyone consider a friend or a best friend their soulmate friend? Share stories. I'd like to read how your friend became a soulmate, where was the ephiphany, how long did it take, etc, etc. The friend doesn't necessarily have to be a best friend. So... any stories to share?

[shesays]

I guess it depends on your definition of soulmate. . .

 

I have had, at different times of my life, friendships that profoundly affected who I am now. That's not really what people think of as soulmates, but because our friendship changed who I am, I sort of feel that I am carrying part of them with me.

 

I also think it happens less and less frequently as you get older, maybe once you've "grown up" friends have a less dramatic effect on your personality and beliefs. . . I don't really know, I'm not that grown up yet.

[sburtug03]

Me and my mate met on our first day at university together, in a huge room where all the freshers were meeting. The lecturer wanted us to play a game in order to meet people as nobody knew anybody else. One of the questions was to find another person with the same favourite colour as yourself. I was finding it hard trying to find someone with the same answer of 'pink' as me until I eventually asked my now friend. As we got talking we realised that out of the hundreds of people there, we had met and were doing the same course (one which we later found out only had 12 people in!) We also found out that every single one of our lectures was together! After our first meeting we were basically inseperable (we are exactly the same age and our boyfriends though 7 years older than us are exactly the same age too!) Coincidence? I think not. She is amazing. Luv Samantha x

[seachange]

First day of 7th grade, I was sitting behind this girl in class who was doodling something on the wall next to our desks that looked like a robot. I said, "nice robot," and she said, "um, it's a snowman," and then we bickered about it in a friendly way for about five minutes.

 

During the conversation, I remember getting this sudden rush of conviction: "we are going to be friends".

 

22 years later, we're still best friends, talk almost every day though we live in different cities now. I don't know how, but I just knew we would be.

 

And for the record, it was totally a robot.

[quankanne]

I've got two very close friends whom I consider my true soulmates.

 

I met Steph 25 years ago, when we were both freshmen in high school ~ she was a transfer student from a parochial school in the neighboring town. This girl has been my champion from the get-go; it has never ceased to amaze me just how kind and generous and loving this woman is. From simple stuff like 'please please please tell me something funny, this teacher is so damned boring' to things like being my unwavering pillar of support when I've gone through rough times, and for this I am so very grateful. She is the person fate didn't make my sister, but introduced me to her anyhow. Ralphie is someone I met on the university newspaper staff nearly 20 years ago who quickly became my best friend, then roommate in college. Like Steph, he's wonderfully kind and generous and funny, just a really good guy. He's the little brother I've always wanted. Both make my life richer, both know me better than I know myself and I trust them completely ...

 

they are what come to mind when people talk about having a true "soulmate." Sometimes you get lucky and it's a love interest who is your soulmate, but I was blessed to have my two dearest friends as mine.

[Mz. Pixie]

I met my best friend Kim in third grade. I was in a private school and didn't really know anyone and she and I hit it off. We went to school together through 9th grade and through it all we stayed best friends. Kim was very religious, her father was a pastor and I had a very dysfunctional home life. They had me over for sleep overs and such alot. Our birthdays were two days apart. She moved after 9th grade when her dad took over a church somewhere else. We still stayed close through visits and phone calls. In our senior year in high school she got engaged to the guy she would eventually marry. Although she was highly intelligent and could have gone to any college in the country, really all she wanted to do was be a wife and a mother. They would come over and spend the day, and he would haul me around with them to the mall and to dinner, and he'd pay for everything (he was a bit older). She was a virgin on her wedding night. Her path in life was very different from mine, but she never failed to support me. I truly considered her my sister. She was a truly outstanding example of a friend and a Christian. I could be down, and her not even know and she would call and say "I just felt I needed to call you- are you okay?"

 

They eventually married and I was the maid of honor at her wedding. She had a son. She was the maid of honor at my wedding. We stayed close through the years and she was always pestering me to get pregnant and have a baby. I finally did when I was 28. Two months after I told her I was pregnant, she was told she had breast cancer and it was terminal. She was still sure that her faith would see her out and she would receive a miracle and be cured. It had spread to her brain and her lungs.

 

She got to see my son once. I took alot of pictures that day and my exh took videos. As she left that day when we hugged I thought "This will be the last time I will ever see her". But I told myself no, because she looked so good and so healthy. Over the next two months I called often and left messages and she never called me back. I figured that she was busy with church and her son. I got a call from my mom one day to come to her house after work. She wouldn't tell me what she wanted over the phone. I got there and she told me that Kim had died that day. She had told her parents and her brother that I was not to be told over the phone so her brother had called my mom to tell me. The grief was unbelievable. She left a 8 year old son and a husband who adored her.

 

Walking down the aisle at her funeral to the casket was the hardest thing I've ever done- much harder than even losing my mother. I guess that was because Kim was such a true friend to me and a example of what a good person was- and my mother was abusive. Her funeral was a testimony to that as well as to her relationship with Christ. At the funeral home, there were so many people that spoke to me and talked about how much she loved me, as well as shared examples of how she had changed their lives. Everyone would want to be talked about that way at their memorial.

 

I truly thought we would grow old together and that we would be friends for the rest of our lives, through grandchildren and everything. It was not to be so. I've missed her everyday of my life since then- nine years ago. It was probably around five years before I could even watch the video or look at the pictures without breaking down. I have so many stories about her that make me laugh now, about how modest she was and how much she loved rock music but felt it was not proper for her to do so. Sometimes I feel cheated that I won't have that with her, but I know without a doubt we will be reunited one day in Heaven.

[Cheers]

Thanks a bunch, you just made me get all teary-eyed!

 

Really sad story. Don't know what to say, but best wishes.

[Ticinetal]

I was specifically searching for a thread like this as it describes my situation perfectly. This is a real long story, but I will keep it on the shorter side.

 

I am 41 years old and legally blind. Growing up, I was always the kid in scholl that the others made fun of, and it really caused me to close myself off from other people. I do have a close friend from those days, but he was never what I really needed in a best friend.

 

Back in 1976, I became a fan of pro wrestling (a lot different than what you see now on tv), and the above mentioned friend gave me a stack of wrestling magazines. That is where I read about a wrestler named Bobby Shaen, who had tragically died in a plane creash in 1975. His story moved me very deeply, and i would naver forget about him. Even as my interest in wrestling declined in the mid 80s, I'd still think about him form time to time.

 

Fast forward to 1996. I started writing about Bobby (first it was a fictional story about wreslting, followed be an article for a wrestling nostalgia publication). This work brought me interest in Bobby and all the feelings that started way back in 1976 to the surface, where they have remained ever since. My writing brought me into contact with his mom, as well as his best friend from high school. I soon learned ffrom antoher source that Bobby's mother had disconnected herself from Bobby's father's side of the family after her husband/Bobby's father had died in the early 80s.

 

In mid 2001, I dedcided that the following year, I would take a trip to Bobby's hometown (St. Louis) in honor of his memory. Now, I had never flown before, I'd never even been to an airport, but I felt this was something I just had to do. I live in New York and even after that horrible day of 9-11 2001 when the World Trade Center was attacked, I was still determined to take the trip that I felt compelled to make. Bobby's mom had since moved, but I would be meeting his high school friend. I had also learned that Bobby had an uncle Larry who still lived in the area (one of many relatives on his father's side), but I was unsure about contacting him. Little did I know what lay ahead where Larry was concerned.

 

I went in April 2002 and it was a great trip. I had written a song about Bobby and it was played on St. Louis radio, I met Bobby's hgigh school friend and was a guest at a local wrestling show. One of the highlights was an interview with a columnist for the St. Louis Post Dispatch for an article that he would write about my trip. As I awaited the interview time, I was in my hotel room and decided to give Bobby's uncle Larry a call. I didn't know what I expected, but it was the first converstation with the man who would become the best friend I've ever had - and the bond between us is so strong, that I truly consider him my soulmate.

 

We had a nice first conversation, and he gave me his address so I could send him a "Bobby Shane" flyer I had made up and brought along with me. Two days later, the article about my trip was in the paper and I was waiting until around 10:00 (AM) to call Larry and tell him about it. Well, at 9:00, my phone rang - it was Larry! He had seen the article, and he had gotten my pphone number (at the hotel) from the columnist who wrote the article. He offered to drive to my hotel (a 35 mile drive from where he lived) and take me to lunch. I was nervous as I awaited his arrival, but when we met, I was put instantly at ease. Thoguht there was a gap in our age (36 years - he just turned 77), we instantly hit it off. He and Bobby had been ver y close, and he was moved by my interest in his nephew. I was moved by Larry's kindness, sensitivity, and friendliness, wheich came right through within a few minutes of our initial meeting. We spent around two and a half hours together, and as he left, he told me that if I ever returned to St/ Louis, he'd like to show me around. I told him that I'd like to return one day. Larry and I had spoken on the phone ever couple of months or so since my initial trip, and he always told me he considered me one of his closest friends. I always thought that was very sweet of him, and i always felt strongly aobut him as well. I had also become e-mail pals with one of his nieces, and she turned out to be a good friend as well. Just as a sie note, Larry's wife had passed away five years ago, he keeps busy looking after his sisters and helping out various family members, taking care of his house, etc. He has lived a full rich life and has had many great experiences.

 

I loved flying so much afterh that first trip that I made several more: Vegas for a wreslting reunion, Alabama to visit an uncle and cousins, Florida for antoehr Bobby Shane project), and last year, I decided to return to St. Louis. Larry and his niece were happy to hear of my decision. Larry picked me up at the airport and gave me a nice warm greeting. During the next week, we had spent a lot of time together - we went to the zoo, the Anheiser-Busch Brewerey, soulards Market (which opened in 1776), and we just had the best time together. He was no longer Bobby Shane's uncle, but my friend Larry - we were just two buddies hanging out and doing fun things together. Even when we just hung out at his house watching television it was great just being with him.

 

My visit ended, and as we said goodbye at the airport, all the emotions that had been building all week came to a head. I don't handle goodbyes very well, and I had tears in my eyes as we got ready to part. "I really got to know you this week," he told me. "You're like a son to me,," he continued. Well, that was the nicest thing anyone ever said to me, and through tears, I told him that his friendship is one of the gretest blessings of my life.

 

We talked a bit more frequently on the phone, and two weeks ago I was in St. Louis for another visit. The bond between us had gorwn strong last year, and this year in was cemented. We spent several hours of each day together, and again, my favorite times were spent just him and I, shooting the breeze at his house as we watched tv. We talked aobut all kinds of things, and it feels as if I've known him all my life. He is the kind of man that I ould chosse as a father and best friend - patient, warm, loving, strong, sense of humor. He has told me that I'm one of the best friends he has had, and that I'm the best thing that's happened to him in a long time. "You're a part of me," he told me.

 

I still relect on all we did two weks ago, and I try tyo find the rignt words for our friendship. Soulmate fits, but when i hear that word, I usually thing of a romantic relationship, but a close friend can be a soulmate as well, and that's what Larry is to me. And the amazing part is that he feels as deeply for me as I do about him. He is the gretest man I have ever met, and I thank God daily that Larry has become what I have always wanted - a true best friend.

 

Alfred T

[whichwayisup]

I think that's really neat and I'm happy that you have a wonderful friendship. Soulmate friends are special and I'm sure he will be in your life forever.

 

You're right, soulmate friendships don't always have to be romantic, it just means that person was meant to be part of your life somehow.