accident_prone Posted July 18, 2017 Posted July 18, 2017 (edited) i will preface this by saying that this is long winded and i realize there are plenty of less desirable scenarios for one to be in, but here's the deal: a couple months ago i was playing a show in a city an hour away and this girl added me a couple days beforehand and she said she would say hello, etc. so at the show she comes up says hi and that's about it. aside from thinking she's way cute, i don't think much of it. we stayed in a small amount of contact every couple weeks after that exchanging small talk, mild flirtation, and very tentatively planning to "hangout if one of us is in the other's town soon" and though she seemed super into the idea (I was admittedly more skeptical about it) it never happened because we were both busy. fast forward to last weekend when i told her earlier in the week that i was going to be in town finishing recording and we should grab a drink. she enthusiastically agrees and we make a plan. while i was all for meeting up and hanging out, I never expected anything more than a couple hours of chat and flirtation, a real life version of our texts. i couldn't have been caught more off guard. this girl was amazing and we had a very real connection that it was clear we both felt. aside from her being gorgeous, her personality and character is everything that I feel I have been missing in other people. (turns out she later revealed to me the same sentiments) she ended up asking me to stay with her that night and I did and it was amazing night. the next day, high on the previous night, i couldn't get her out of my head but being a rational person i knew that was just the thrill of a wild night and then a few hours later she texts me damn near the same thoughts I was having and how she wanted to see me again, etc. so we made a plan to hangout the following weekend (this past weekend) the entire week leading up to it she just seemed smitten and while I was very into that idea I could help but be a bit more reserved in my position. but the weekend finally arrived, and both of us excited by this unexpected connection (intense physical and mental connection at that) had what was easily the best weekend I have had in a very long time and once again she spoke the very words that were on my mind. at her request I ended up staying a day longer than I planned. she was just so attentive and eager to please and had everything so thought out and planned, and to be honest I was both caught off guard and blown away, as though I have met and dated many girls, I have never met anyone like the her I have seen thus far. I left her house yesterday morning with a coffee and breakfast she made in a bag and arrived at work to find a note saying once again everything that I was thinking: that she never met anyone like me and was hopeful of something great this could turn into. so we're planning on her coming to visit me this weekend and I'm eager to see how it goes. my logic (and admitted jaded pessimism) would try and tell me that this In fact is "too good to be true" as has been rattling around in my head. so I guess what I'm looking for is affirmation and potentially encouragement that this unexpected, yet fantastic, and seemingly 100% mutual thing that seems so unreal can actually be real. yes the distance thing is a slight drag as it takes away a little bit of spontaneity but otherwise an hour is really nothing at all to me. also, im not getting too far ahead of myself and still remaining realistical as this is very new but I do feel like this could be something great anyone with any advice and/or similar experience? Edited July 18, 2017 by accident_prone typo
preraph Posted July 18, 2017 Posted July 18, 2017 Could she think you have money since you're a recording artist? If so, of course, she could be a golddigger. I used to work in the business of music and just being a musician attracts a lot of women and then a lot of those women assume you have money to burn. She does seem to be telling you everything you want to hear, going the extra mile packing you breakfast, etc. Of course, some women who are not golddiggers just like to be around any celebrity, even if just local. They like the limelight. Just remember you still don't know each other. Whatever you do, just try to totally be yourself. If she has an agenda, time will reveal it. Most people are on their best behavior the first months, but usually if someone is really stretching to impress, they get tired of it and start being more themselves within a couple of months. It's hard to keep up the facade. I would do a search on her and maybe a background check and just be sure she hasn't ever been a stripper or sex worker. Your antenna is up for a reason. You do have to listen to your instincts. Something is a little off. Does she have kids, maybe? Get her background as much as you can by paying for a $25 background check. Then if there's anything on there, you'll know, but also you can ask her all about herself and see if everything lines up. If she ever says she's a model, dig deeper. Just be sure she's not actually been working the sex trade and the reason why I say that is those girls are all taught to butter a man up and tell him he deserves so much and say what a man likes to hear, and it's only to get money. Hope for the best but find out about her and just make sure of her criminal record, if any. Find out if she's always lived in the present state and if not, where was she from and check that state records as well. Don't tell her, of course. You can relax if everthing seems to come back matching up with what she's been telling you. 1
Author accident_prone Posted July 18, 2017 Author Posted July 18, 2017 thanks for that input. i may have come across more impressive than I am. it's definitely just a small time local band. it's heavy metal and she happens to be into heavy metal. I'm nothing special. she told me before that at the show she was intimidated by me and her friends teased her so she got shy and never came back to chat. I thought that was cute. as far as money goes, she's the one that tried to take care of ME all weekend by taking me out to dinner and buying the drinks, etc and seemed surprised when I carried my own weight a couple times. I think my antenna is up because it certainly seems too good to be true- that two people can't possibly match up on every level so quickly and effortlessly, right? life is certainly never this movie-like. she absolutely says all the right things, relatively unprompted. and our time together feels perfect and genuine. as we walked around her town the nights I was there, she was so accommodating and trying to make me as comfortable as possible. so between that and how into me she really genuinely seems, I'm just a bit blown away. I surely hope it's real because this whirlwind has been wonderful. but I guess only time will tell.
Author accident_prone Posted July 18, 2017 Author Posted July 18, 2017 angel eyes, i one hundred percent agree. in fact, aside from our many conversations (learning our likes, dislikes and what we have in common) our weekend was mostly spent adventuring around her city together and only retiring back to her apartment to escape the heat, watch movies and listen to records. the insane physical connection is truly only icing on the cake, as in my experience it has only ever been one or the other, definitely not both. this is a big part of why i'm a bit stunned. that and im just having a hard time accepting that this could be a real thing regardless of how unexpected and strong a whirlwind it has been thus far!
angel.eyes Posted July 18, 2017 Posted July 18, 2017 Realistically, it may be something. It may not. You'll have to wait until the infatuation dies down to discover if there's something substantial underneath the fireworks. In the meanwhile, enjoy.
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