Quokka Posted July 18, 2017 Posted July 18, 2017 So me and my girlfriend live together in a house her Dad just gave to her. The only expenses are water, electric, and internet. There's another person livingg with us. My buddy.. He moved in before me as me and my girlfriend just got back together. At first, I was cool with it. My buddy and my girlfriend have never been intimate together and we have always hung out with each other together. Me and my girlfriend get our alone time for sure as he works a lot. He does pay bills. Doesn't clean though. However, I don't like how it looks. People ask me where I live and I'm like "oh, with my girlfriend. And another dude" people automatically assume they're having sex while I'm at work. Although, I don't have any reason to believe they are as I trust her I just do not trust him. I brought it up to my girlfriend and she got defensive. So I just told her whatever and it's a topic that hardly gets discussed now. Things are going good in our relationship but I don't like this at all. What can I do?
basil67 Posted July 18, 2017 Posted July 18, 2017 This doesn't make sense. I've shared with a partner and flat mate before and nobody would ever have made such an assumption. What are the two of them doing to make others think this? And what exactly did you say before she got defensive? 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 18, 2017 Posted July 18, 2017 This doesn't make sense. I've shared with a partner and flat mate before and nobody would ever have made such an assumption. What are the two of them doing to make others think this? And what exactly did you say before she got defensive? Do you have legitimate concerns or are you being insecure? Is he paying rent? Why is he there?
Author Quokka Posted July 18, 2017 Author Posted July 18, 2017 This doesn't make sense. I've shared with a partner and flat mate before and nobody would ever have made such an assumption. What are the two of them doing to make others think this? And what exactly did you say before she got defensive? I have no reason to believe they are doing anything behind my back. They are good friends so that's why she gets defensive and I have to tread lightly. Maybe I am a little insecure about it as I work nights while he is there with her. Lots of time to think. But I don't like him being there either. We're friends but not that close. He's an *******. I can pay the bills we just don't need him.
Joga_31 Posted July 18, 2017 Posted July 18, 2017 I think there is nothing to be concerned about and if you are having the feelings you having. Then act cool, and eventually find a new place to live with her. My gf used to have a guy roomate and she never did anything with him. He ended up moving though. Also be calm and polite when u suggest the move
basil67 Posted July 18, 2017 Posted July 18, 2017 Them being good friends should not make her defensive. Sure, I can understand her being annoyed with friends who make assumptions about them, but what are you saying to her which makes her defensive when you mention it?
Author Quokka Posted July 18, 2017 Author Posted July 18, 2017 Them being good friends should not make her defensive. Sure, I can understand her being annoyed with friends who make assumptions about them, but what are you saying to her which makes her defensive when you mention it? I told her that I don't like the way it looks to other people. Like my buddies at work always giving me **** saying she's getting dicked down right now. And she got defensive. Moreso, pissed
basil67 Posted July 18, 2017 Posted July 18, 2017 I told her that I don't like the way it looks to other people. Like my buddies at work always giving me **** saying she's getting dicked down right now. And she got defensive. Moreso, pissed Ah, yes. I'm not at all surprised she got pissed. And you totally deserved it. Why are your work buddies always talking about this? It's none of their business (unless you are always bringing up the topic). Do they not respect you enough to fall back into line when you tell them to back off? The problem here is that instead of manning up to your work buddies and telling them to mind their own business, you're make it your girlfriend's problem even though you say you trust both her and the flatmate. Your workmates behaving like this is NOT HER PROBLEM. If you want the flatmate to move out, then it's your prerogative to say this. But give her a proper and respectful reason - not this business of bowing to the peer pressure of the guys. 2
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