lepca Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 I get every relationship is different... But I've been dating this women every week for the last 2 months and chatting online for at least 3 months. It seems to be going well and we get on well together! We haven't discussed exclusivity yet but we have spent a couple of nights together! So anyway I live with my parents and I was going to invite her over this weekend because my Mum and Dad are having a BBQ so I'm thinking it would be a good reason to let her see where I live and see my parents at the same time! My parents are very very relaxed and enjoy new meeting people so it'll be very laid back and definitely involve a bit of alcohol!! Can't believe I'm asking this because it's very hard to give an answer to a stranger online, but it sound like good idea?? Or does it sound too soon?
lurker74 Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 I get every relationship is different... But I've been dating this women every week for the last 2 months and chatting online for at least 3 months. It seems to be going well and we get on well together! We haven't discussed exclusivity yet but we have spent a couple of nights together! So anyway I live with my parents and I was going to invite her over this weekend because my Mum and Dad are having a BBQ so I'm thinking it would be a good reason to let her see where I live and see my parents at the same time! My parents are very very relaxed and enjoy new meeting people so it'll be very laid back and definitely involve a bit of alcohol!! Can't believe I'm asking this because it's very hard to give an answer to a stranger online, but it sound like good idea?? Or does it sound too soon? I'd probably wait until I were exclusive unless you feel like your parents' approval is important. 1
Author lepca Posted July 17, 2017 Author Posted July 17, 2017 I am exclusive to her but we haven't chatted about it yet. Not taking anything for granted but I'm sort of guessing she's not seeing anybody else but I can't be 100% sure.
basil67 Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 I'm not getting that you're looking for your parents approval. This is more about inviting her to your home - where your parents also live, yes? I don't see anything wrong with it. Mind you, meeting parents has always had zero significance to me. If she thinks that meeting parents is a big thing, she may feel differently. 1
Author lepca Posted July 17, 2017 Author Posted July 17, 2017 I'm not getting that you're looking for your parents approval. This is more about inviting her to your home - where your parents also live, yes? I don't see anything wrong with it. Mind you, meeting parents has always had zero significance to me. If she thinks that meeting parents is a big thing, she may feel differently. Not after my parents approval one bit. I'm a grown adult and can make my own decisions about who I date. Yes it's more about hanging out with this girl in my own home which just happens to be my parents house. My parents are doing a BBQ so it's a good excuse for her to come over and chill for the evening. 1
basil67 Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 Not after my parents approval one bit. I'm a grown adult and can make my own decisions about who I date. Yes it's more about hanging out with this girl in my own home which just happens to be my parents house. My parents are doing a BBQ so it's a good excuse for her to come over and chill for the evening. Yep - wouldn't phase me at all. Just make sure she realises that this is a chill thing and not 'meet the parents' event.
act00 Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 (edited) I say invite. With this invitation, ask her if she thinks it's too soon and you would understand if she wasn't up for it just yet. At two months, it might be considered too soon, but on the other hand, she might be great with it. I invited a guy I was seeing for a couple of months. He might have met my mom who left early, and the other family that were there were my sis, BIL, cousin, her husband, aunt and uncle, and just us "kids," (more of a friendship-type thing) so it would have been a blast and I think he would have enjoyed it. Of course my kids, who are teens and soon to leave the nest were there. It felt a bit too much too soon for him, but I was hoping he would ultimately come...he ghosted me, though. In any case, in my mind it was less "meet the parents/family" and more "hang out and eat, drink, and have fun with friends." Us "kids" are the fun ones. Just ask but make sure she knows you're okay with it if she feels it's a bit too soon. I think a casual BBQ with other people around would be a less stressful way to meet the family over one-on-one at another time. I'm sure it would be nice if you could have her over to your place on occasion, so you don't have to do the driving all the time, and while not ideal and with privacy issues, probably not the top priority place, if she's comfortable with your folks, she might be okay with movies on the sofa with you at your place from time to time. ETA: I'm guessing she'll have her own transportation, and if the thought was to pick up and drop off, maybe encourage her to meet you there, so that she can leave if she starts to feel a little overwhelmed and is ready to knock off early. Again, let her know no hard feelings with whatever she chooses. Edited July 17, 2017 by act00
Gaeta Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 I am exclusive to her but we haven't chatted about it yet. Not taking anything for granted but I'm sort of guessing she's not seeing anybody else but I can't be 100% sure. So before inviting her into your private space why not confirming with her? Don't assume anything just confirm with her that you are both exclusive. Your parents aren't stupid they know you like this girl if you invite her over to their bbq. How uncomfortable for them if they would come across her after this bbq and she's with another man.
scooby-philly Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 Always listen to Gaeta But seriously - I agree 95% with her. You're cool with it, it's not a "meet the parents" and if you think you're parents are fine - then go for it. But in asking her you need to ask her about exclusivity and if she says yes to that and/or coming over - then temper her expectations with a "my family isn't like that" sort of explanation. Because that's the only way to be respectful to her and your parents - even if your folks are chill. And when you ask her - maybe doing the 1-2 punch - hang out/my parents will be there & exclusivity - frame up the second part with "i'd like to be exclusibe with you - if you want that". And if she stutters or says no - tell her it's cool and you're not putting any pressure on her. 1
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