connormo Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 I've been on online dating and all that For probably 5 years now. Having a rough slow patch lately that's making me want to give up and accept my life in solitary and the fact that I'm going to die alone lol. As of lately I haven't gotten any potential matches or responses from women- I used to get plenty at a given time. Maybe my pictures aren't good or people have become increasingly picky? (Tinder is ruining society...) I feel like I'm too picky for my level of attractiveness- as Jerry Seinfeld once said about 95%of the population is UNDATEABLE, and it might even be higher in my situation- very few women have ever shown any forward interest in me so statistically speaking it's useless to even try.. most of my hobbies are introverted things but when I'm at the gym I will occasionally meet new women (and never hear back from them...) and I hate any popular or mainstream music so I fail to connect with the majority of people there as well. I work long rotations in the middle of nowhere so another reason I never meet people. Just seems impossible for me.. has anyone else given up? I'm sure many people live great lives alone but it's also depressing to think about and see happy couples all around
angel.eyes Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 It sounds as if you're not in a place in life to date right now. Specifically, you're working in the middle of nowhere all week. What happens when you do click with someone? Are you going to only date her on weekends? How are you structuring your life to accommodate dating and a growing relationship when that happens? More importantly, you sound totally burned out. Perhaps take a three-month break from trying to date. You'll come back at it with fresh eyes and a more optimistic attitude after the hiatus.
scooby-philly Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 Hey OP We all get there at times. As the previous poster suggested - there's nothing wrong with taking some time off of "dating". And I'm a firm believe that true love can happen when you're not looking for it - and the LTRs I've been in have all come when I've just been doing my thing and met someone. A few points though. 1. Nothing wrong with taking a hiatus - be it a week, a month, a year. 2. In terms of OLD - it's just another tool in the toolbelt. Go out, do the hobbies that put you near people to start - listening to music, walking, hiking, taking classes, the gym as you mentioned. 3. The gym is a place that you could meet someone - but from people I know that did meet at the gym - they bumped into each A LOT. SO if you don't go a lot and/or switch times, locations, etc often it may not be the best place to try and look for something. 4. Do things without the intention of finding someone. That's where surprises can happen. 5. Don't miss, though, the opportunities that may present themselves when you are looking for it! 6. To the previous poster's point - agree somewhat - if you're working wacky hours or "abnormal" situations/locations it does make it harder to find someone doing other things.....so when you decide what's the best step for now, 2 weeks from now, 3 months from now - if during that time span at any point you say yes, you really want to keep trying to find a date - ask - are you leading a life that allows for you to find someone? 7. DO NOT EVER FORGET - you can look at a couple and assume - if even if they're smiling and holding hands or kissing, or whatever else would drive you to jealousy - and they could be the loneliest people, the most unhappy couple ever. Not that we all don't get lonely from time to time when we're single - but if you can't be happy when you're single, you'll never be happy when you're with someone. 8. Try some out of the box ideas - switch up the type of online dating site you use. Have a friend check out your profile. Or as I've done - post the profile on here and ask for feedback. Try different things - only way to meet different people.
Author connormo Posted July 18, 2017 Author Posted July 18, 2017 It sounds as if you're not in a place in life to date right now. Specifically, you're working in the middle of nowhere all week. What happens when you do click with someone? Are you going to only date her on weekends? How are you structuring your life to accommodate dating and a growing relationship when that happens? More importantly, you sound totally burned out. Perhaps take a three-month break from trying to date. You'll come back at it with fresh eyes and a more optimistic attitude after the hiatus. Fair enough. I've taken many hiatuses throughout my 5+years trying to meet people and coming back and putting in the effort all over again just to be let down makes it harder every time I don't become more optimistic. And my career path may be like that where I work in the middle of nowhere for weeks on end then have weeks off as well- I figure if a person can't deal with or accept that then they don't really belong in my life. And I have zero "plans" for a relationship because I don't ever expect one to happen lol I live without expectations in order to feel less disappointment if things don't work out
Author connormo Posted July 18, 2017 Author Posted July 18, 2017 Hey OP We all get there at times. As the previous poster suggested - there's nothing wrong with taking some time off of "dating". And I'm a firm believe that true love can happen when you're not looking for it - and the LTRs I've been in have all come when I've just been doing my thing and met someone. A few points though. 1. Nothing wrong with taking a hiatus - be it a week, a month, a year. 2. In terms of OLD - it's just another tool in the toolbelt. Go out, do the hobbies that put you near people to start - listening to music, walking, hiking, taking classes, the gym as you mentioned. 3. The gym is a place that you could meet someone - but from people I know that did meet at the gym - they bumped into each A LOT. SO if you don't go a lot and/or switch times, locations, etc often it may not be the best place to try and look for something. 4. Do things without the intention of finding someone. That's where surprises can happen. 5. Don't miss, though, the opportunities that may present themselves when you are looking for it! 6. To the previous poster's point - agree somewhat - if you're working wacky hours or "abnormal" situations/locations it does make it harder to find someone doing other things.....so when you decide what's the best step for now, 2 weeks from now, 3 months from now - if during that time span at any point you say yes, you really want to keep trying to find a date - ask - are you leading a life that allows for you to find someone? 7. DO NOT EVER FORGET - you can look at a couple and assume - if even if they're smiling and holding hands or kissing, or whatever else would drive you to jealousy - and they could be the loneliest people, the most unhappy couple ever. Not that we all don't get lonely from time to time when we're single - but if you can't be happy when you're single, you'll never be happy when you're with someone. 8. Try some out of the box ideas - switch up the type of online dating site you use. Have a friend check out your profile. Or as I've done - post the profile on here and ask for feedback. Try different things - only way to meet different people. As I said I'm very introverted and I'd probably seek an introverted partner so these hobbies where I meet people rarely present opportunities for me. It was different in university but now I pretty much just work and laze out with little energy to do much else. Where can I post my profile to have any input on it? POF.com ? The Leading Free Online Dating Site for Singles & Personals That's the link^ if you personally cannot provide any feedback that's perfectly fine (you've already made some good points in your first reply) but maybe guide me to somewhere on the forum that could help? I don't use the forum much so I'm unfamiliar
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