max3732 Posted July 16, 2017 Posted July 16, 2017 I signed up for match.com and have had a few prospects, but trouble with all of them. Within a few days of signing up I started messaging this beautiful woman who was pretty much exactly what I was hoping to find. We were something like a 98% match with tons of things in common and she liked and commented on some of my pictures. Then I suggested meeting in person and she agreed. I was more relaxed than usual and thought things went pretty well. Then when I tried to plan a second date she tells me it's best for both of us to not continue because she wants someone who is a spiritual leader and just being Christian isn't enough for her. Her profile says she's religious and it's important to her, but I didn't expect to get rejected over this and it still hit me pretty hard. Is this common among really religious people? Another woman has messaged me and she's also very pretty and we have a few things in common (nowhere near as much as the other one). The only thing is she's divorced with a little kid. It's tough enough for me to figure things out with just one other person, but trying to figure out how to handle someone with a child is just too much. She sent me a really nice message, but I can't handle this situation and don't know what to say to her so I don't come across like a jerk and hurt her feelings. Another thing I've noticed is a few profiles that say "If you voted for ..." then FU or something along those lines. Should I bother messaging people on the other side of the political aisle?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 16, 2017 Posted July 16, 2017 In today's political climate, NO to your last question. I would not do that if someone wrote that in their profile. As far as the Christian woman, she really should be putting that in her profile. And maybe using Christian Mingle, not match. I am a Christian Woman and I have friends who would feel the way this woman does. It actually should make it harder for her to find a partner, not you. In my opinion, it doesn't make her wrong, but she should put this in her profile. I think it's fine for you to tell the other woman something like, "I don't think I'd have what it takes to be able to be a good partner to someone with a child at this stage in my life." That puts is more on you than "blaming" her for having a child. You actually should put this in your profile. 3
Author max3732 Posted July 16, 2017 Author Posted July 16, 2017 In today's political climate, NO to your last question. I would not do that if someone wrote that in their profile. As far as the Christian woman, she really should be putting that in her profile. And maybe using Christian Mingle, not match. I am a Christian Woman and I have friends who would feel the way this woman does. It actually should make it harder for her to find a partner, not you. In my opinion, it doesn't make her wrong, but she should put this in her profile. I think it's fine for you to tell the other woman something like, "I don't think I'd have what it takes to be able to be a good partner to someone with a child at this stage in my life." That puts is more on you than "blaming" her for having a child. You actually should put this in your profile. Thank you for the tips. Since I even told the extremely religious woman I'd go to church if it was important I was surprised about getting rejected for that considering I really felt like we had something. Guess I should just move on and stop dwelling on it, but it's still pretty painful. Obviously I didn't mean I'd message the particular woman who put the political comment on her profile, but in general should I take people out of my search parameters who are on the opposite side of the political aisle? On my profile I listed my political leanings.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 16, 2017 Posted July 16, 2017 In my experience, it's a search for a needle in a haystack. Be patient and enjoy the journey. I briefly tried dating men with kids, but I'm not going to do it anymore. It's always something with the kids. I don't have kids, so am just more free and independent. I vastly prefer dating men in the same circumstances, as we simply have more focus on each other. I think politics are as much of a consideration as you want them to be. But I am repelled by men who make strong political statements in their profiles. I care about what's going on in the world, but you pick your battles, and I'm adult enough to respect differences in beliefs and opinions, as long as he is, too.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 Political persuasion, children and religion are legitimate reasons for rejection. I don't see anything wrong with what the those ladies use as a preference or criteria. I won't date women who have more than a certain number of children, her politics and if she 'sounds' religious. My preferences as well. Nothing odd about any of them. Frankly, my biggest issue is with 'current' photos. It is amazing how different a person looks from their 'recent' photo. ;-) 2
TheTraveler Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 Since I even told the extremely religious woman I'd go to church if it was important I was surprised about getting rejected for that considering I really felt like we had something. Guess I should just move on and stop dwelling on it, but it's still pretty painful. Simple advice. Do not get emotionally invested in someone you met via a dating app and met in person one time. 2
PegNosePete Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 a few profiles that say "If you voted for ..." then FU or something along those lines. Should I bother messaging people Personally I would never message anyone who said "If XXX then FU" no matter what XXX is, whether it's politics, religion, or ice cream flavour, I wouldn't want to meet someone who has such a terrible attitude and is so dismissive and frankly insulting to other people's opinions. Even if I share their opinion on XXX, I would pass by someone who wrote that. 3
BluEyeL Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 Also, the religious woman may have used the spiritual leader thing as an excuse and maybe she just wasn't attracted to you. You shouldn't believe the reasons people give you, often these are not the real ones. And I wouldn't bother to message people from the other side.
Chilli Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 (edited) The first ones just dreaming , don't worry that's really common on those sites.. But the girl should've just asked you anyway if you were a her mystical unicorn spiritual leader then, whatever that is, before she even bothered to date you. The one with the kid , hey that's your provocative man , if you don't want a women with kids don't bother. l don't want one either , well one might be ok depends, but no way more. The rest , well it's a bit like the first one , the whole OL thing just seems full of very, very , delusional people. They literally seem to just think it's a shopping list and all just as easy as going to the supermarket and just hello , picking out what you want. Don't take it too seriously , reading around loveshack is the real reality. Edited July 17, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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