Bogus103 Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 I have always had a problem with jealousy...I am a very jealous person and I'm not scared to admit that! I hate it! You see, at my job I get so jealous of new employees who come in cuz it's almost like they win my boss over and then I'm looked at like I'm no good..and they are everything! I'm jealous of every little thing you could imagine! I don't have many friends...my only friends I have are the people that I work with..even though I get jealous of the fact that they mean the world to my bosses and put me down in this low spot nobody could reach! Even when I hang out with them or something it's like they are always together and I'm just an annoying tag along! How do I start to fit in? That's all I've ever wanted. I went through school and everything with no friends..it's really starting to make me angry and it's starting to make me kind of hate myself. I'm extremely shy...until people get to know me...anytime I say anything to anyone I know I sound like the biggest retard cuz I let my nerves get to me and I start to studder! I have been struggling with a cutting problem for the past few years! I quit then I started up again..then I quit again...everytime anything seems to g wrong I just wanna cut my wrist...and I hate to say this but it's the truth..I want someone to find out...I want them to know that what they are doing is hurting me..and I feel like doing that is the only way to show that! How can I stop being so jealous of everyone and just have some confidence in my self..I want to just say screw the world I'm the best..but I know that makes you look like you think you are better than the world..and I know I'm not and I don't want to be..I just want to stop being so jealous and be happy! Any advice would help!
Rosalind Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Well there's a few comments I'd like to post....BUT first I want to ask you if you received therapy in respect to the self-mutilation. Rosalind
Author Bogus103 Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 No I didn't go to thearpy or anything like that. Nobody really knows about it..even though the marks are pretty obvious on my wrists! I don't know..maybe people are scared to ask or say anything! I know I sound like a total nut case.. I don't expect anyone to understand, I just want to stop being so jealous and hateful..these people are innocent and I don't want to have anger towards them!
Rosalind Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Hey sweetie...the jealousy and hatefullness towards others, is a sypmtom of something else. You are a danger to yourself because you are a cutter. Are you in any way opposed to seeing a pyschiatrist? A professional will be able to sort it all out for you. Rosalind
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