JESSICABOWELS Posted July 16, 2017 Posted July 16, 2017 Ok been talking to a guy for about 4 weeks. We met online, pretty much text everyday or every other day. Nothing really deep, never phone calls. But he usually will text me throughout the day just to say hey and how are you, good mornings sometimes, and good nights. He wasn't always at the top of my list of priority of the men I wanted to hangout with, but that recently changed once we met. The first time we met, we were together for like 8 hours, walked the beach had pizza, and had a blast. The 2nd time we had movie night at his place, and i ended up staying the night[we didnt plan on that]. He was really really sweet. Honestly he is such a nice guy, and that is what attracts me to him. Very caring person. I did sleep with him [Yes, know thats soon, but it was mutual, and honestly i needed it! lol he was more into satisfying ME than his own self which was odd for me, not used to it] He didn't kiss me the first time we hungout because he said he was too shy. but after texting back and forth for awhile he felt more comfortable and admitted he wanted to kiss me. He text me all week before we hungout again that he was pretty much excited to see me and kept wishing it was the day we were hanging out! Anyways, staying the night i actually asked him if he wanted me to leave [didnt wanna overstep anything,] said nope. in the AM, i didnt know if he'd want me to rush out, absolutely not. he walked me outside, and even kissed me [morning breath and all]. We both left at the same time, he even text me like 5 mins later just randomly saying he was turning around because he forgot his key to work. Like he didn't have to do that? lol And he made plans to hangout not only the movie night, but again this weekend to go out for drinks. [that was partly my idea] I come from a bad relationship, and he did too kinda. For me im new at dating. ive been hitting walls until this guy, i have real, genuine interest in him. How do I know for sure he likes me? I can't lie..i like him a little. Not overly attached, but I do have a lot of interest in him. I talk to other men but at the end of the day I like hearing from him most. He doesn't text me all the time, and our convos in text aren't very deep [but we are good talkers in person], and it's not every night i get a good night etc. And from our last night date: hes def very very sweet, and i think he does like me. he was very affectionate towards me this time in public he obv feels more comfortable with me, but just a few things i noticed i made a comment about the fact that ill probably never get married,, and he was like yeah i kinda like not being committed to someone or something along those lines. Then at some point told me he has a really busy 2 weeks coming up with family coming in town. Im just really unsure. he makes sure to kiss me before i got out of his car and stuff. and in driving me home to my house [i live with my parents] instead of leaving me at my friends where i didnt wanna be, because i mentioned she wanted to go out and i didnt. so he said, get your stuff, i'll take you to your moms [which is a 30 minute drive]. and again during the night i hear him say something about taking things slow [he wasnt exactly talking about me i dont think, just in general] quite obvious he is into me, and I AM suuuuuuper into him but at the same time i dont want to get hurt, i havent felt like a legit "crush" on someone in a long time. i feel like yes he is nice, but if that is his personality he may just be like that with everyone you know? the first time we met he wasnt all over me though like usual *******s try to do, we actually talked n he said the first time we met he wasnt sure if i was into him. which is crazy, cuz i was. He'll make comments about me maybe liking him in different random ways, but they come off as like he doesnt think i do like him and he wants me to. WHEN i really do! so im torn. i dont wanna miss a chance with this guy bc id kill to have someone so NICE and genuine seeming around, BUT if i keep pursuing him and he isnt really looking for much, then i feel the need to protect myself and walk away. I have no idea when I'll see him again esp after the ill be busy the next couple weeks comment, i know he has his son a LOT and hes in a difficult situation so he cant just make plans ahead of time he says. but like last night, he actually got family to babysit so he could go out with me, and even told me he blew off an invite to a work celebration guys invited him to bc he had plans with me. What do i do? Advice? Again i have never really dated in my life. Sorry this is soo long! LLOL
introverted1 Posted July 16, 2017 Posted July 16, 2017 Why do you have to *do* anything? Seems things are going well for now. What the next few weeks will bring is anyone's guess, but why not just sit back and observe how it plays out. That will tell you quite a bit. If you're still seeing each other after ~5 dates, perhaps you can delve into what he's looking for long-term. 1
Author JESSICABOWELS Posted July 16, 2017 Author Posted July 16, 2017 Why do you have to *do* anything? Seems things are going well for now. What the next few weeks will bring is anyone's guess, but why not just sit back and observe how it plays out. That will tell you quite a bit. If you're still seeing each other after ~5 dates, perhaps you can delve into what he's looking for long-term. Well, I dont mean literally DO something haha . so its OK to wait to ask what he is looking for? But part of me feels like he may have made certain comments last night to let me know. Yet there have been multiple diff occasions where he tries to hint at comments of the idea of me liking him like he wants me to like him, tho i already do. I dont want to get hurt, so im not sure if i should back off......?
introverted1 Posted July 16, 2017 Posted July 16, 2017 His comments seem to be all over the place. Perhaps he is confused. Perhaps he is mirroring you. Perhaps he is seeking reassurance. He's got a busy 2 weeks coming up. How he fits you in (or doesn't) will reveal far more than what he can tell you. Actions > words. If, after the 2 weeks, you are still dating, have a conversation about what you are looking for. Generally, I'd advise to have that conversation before sex, especially since you seem anxious to know if this is going to be a full-fledged relationship or just a hookup. Just because you've been intimate does not mean this is an instant relationship - it still needs time to grow and develop. Good luck!
Author JESSICABOWELS Posted July 16, 2017 Author Posted July 16, 2017 His comments seem to be all over the place. Perhaps he is confused. Perhaps he is mirroring you. Perhaps he is seeking reassurance. He's got a busy 2 weeks coming up. How he fits you in (or doesn't) will reveal far more than what he can tell you. Actions > words. If, after the 2 weeks, you are still dating, have a conversation about what you are looking for. Generally, I'd advise to have that conversation before sex, especially since you seem anxious to know if this is going to be a full-fledged relationship or just a hookup. Just because you've been intimate does not mean this is an instant relationship - it still needs time to grow and develop. Good luck! i am wondering if he is mirroring me. it is really confusing though. you are right! i'll see what happens after the 2 weeks. so frustrating haha
smackie9 Posted July 16, 2017 Posted July 16, 2017 If you don't relax and take things as they come, you are only sabotaging any chance of this getting off the ground. Acceptance: there are no guarantees to dating/relationships no matter how *cautious* you are to protect yourself. The only way to prevent yourself from getting hurt is to never date again. The mom talk: you need to suck it up and go forward.
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