My livein GF says I have no empathy because i said maybe she needed to stay married

[beforeyoucharlie]

Tonight, I believe my gf is being impossible. Am I wrong here? Her daughter is with her father this summer and I can tell it's killing her and she won't stop acting depressed at times. We live together.

 

We were cleaning the house tonight and I handed her the mother's day card to put away. She looked depressed but didn't say much. I kept asking her over and over what was wrong and she kept meekly saying nothing.

 

 

I told her I was just going to stop caring and stop asking because it's clear she has a problem communicating. She said immediately that she missed her daughter but then said she couldn't say anything to me because I would just tell her to go back to being a happy family again with her ex again. I have told her that before but she didn't need to attack me. Just becasue I said this before does she need to bring it up AGAIN? That's not fihgting fair.

 

 

I told her that was unfair to accuse me of this bull**** and that if she can't get over it, then she's got a real problem. She got angry and said okay, I'm telling you honestly, I'm sad that she's gone and it's hard. Can I have some empathy please?

I responded that I'm sorry she's feeling that way and that I know it must be hard but the only way to fix this is too stay married. She blew up and said SEEEEEEE I knew you would say this!

 

It didn't end well and she started crying and said I had zero empathy even when she asked for it. And I told her that I truly believe she could give a fuc* about me and that she seems to not care whenever things go wrong for me.

She pointed out that SHE suggested we meet with my kids the last 2 days and that SHE suggested I text them. So, I said that I was sick and tired of this and that she needs to realize she is a miserable person who just walks around in her own drama always.

 

In summary, this argument didn't end well and my gf said i lacked empathy over the fact that she was missing her daughter. How do I better communicate to her that she's ruining this relationship?

[Gr8fuln2020]

I'm sorry, but it sounds like the problems is you. You sound insecure. She misses her daughter. Did she ever say that she missed the married life with her ex? Or did you erroneously extrapolate that from her missing her daughter whenever she was with her father?

[teak]

I'm sorry, but it sounds like the problems is you. You sound insecure. She misses her daughter. Did she ever say that she missed the married life with her ex? Or did you erroneously extrapolate that from her missing her daughter whenever she was with her father?

 

This. You're the problem. You're wrong. And she deserves better than you.

[William]

Oh, heck I thought I locked all this hydra's threads. Sorry about that! And thanks for the input!