angler_bill Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 First let me tell you why I'm wondering. A while back a woman I met online expressed interest in me. We got together and she really seemed into me. We would kiss and hang out. She would call me all the time, text me all day long and always wanted me to come over. When I tried to take things further she backed way off and I asked her why and she said I was reading to much into her actions....what???....so i broke it off... Present day...I'm 54 and I walk in a mall every night for exercise. One night I am walking along and this younger woman starts waving at me and smiling big time and saying hello....first I think she believes I'm someone else and say hello as we pass. The whole time I thinking someone she knows must be behind me so I glance back and there is no one. A few days later I'm walking in the mall with my children and there she is at a kiosk smiling and saying hello again. I say hello and keep on walking. Now I'm thinking she is only being friendly so she can sell me something. I talk to some people and they are telling me that she is interested in me. I'm thinking no way because something very similar happened to me a while back. A younger lady contacted me in a group I was in and was being friendly but the whole time I'm thinking she is really only interested in selling her products that we are in this group. When I asked her out her real intentions about showing interest in me was in fact only to sell me something. The other night I approach this new lady's kiosk and she looks up and starts smiling and saying hello. I stop and we chat for about 5 minutes. In the conversation she never mentions a boyfriend (she told me about eating a new restaurant with friends in the mall) and she does not have a ring on her finger. I tell her I just got a job in the mall and what department I will be working in. At the end of the conversation I extend my hand and tell her my name and ask her's. My issue is she is much younger than I am. I can't exactly say but I would guess a good 10+ years. She is really attractive!!....She never tried to sell me one of the products at her kiosk....Misreading women's interest in me has happened many times in my life. One part of me wants to ask her out for drink but another part tells me not to waste my time because her intention is only to sell me something..... Advice?
guy45 Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 Ask her out or you will probably regret it for the rest of your life. What do you have to lose? A possible rejection? Who cares, go for it! Be brave. Let me know how it goes and best of luck! 3
carhill Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 Hopefully it'll be awhile but it'll be when she's holding my hand when I die. Else it's just a mystery. I've had a few who appeared to be interested for awhile, one even married me. It's all nebulous. 4
mikeylo Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 How do you know ? By talking. In some cases actions can get confusing. So clear the air , and then go ahead accordingly. At 54, I guess a 44 year old woman is fine even if you are looking for a serious relationship. A lot of advantages for you 1
d0nnivain Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 The woman from OL skewed your perspective. You didn't read her actions wrong. Her actions didn't match her intent. That was all on her for deceiving you. I'm not saying she did it maliciously but her behavior would lead anyone to conclude that she was interested & escalation was appropriate. As for the women in the mall, keep talking & flirting. Say something cheeky, like she's "the best part of your walk." See if you can get her to open up about her life outside the mall. Eventually work up to can she meet for coffee after the mall closes. 3
thefooloftheyear Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 My guess is she is just being nice and that's it...(mall woman)... The OLD woman was a nut...Sorry for that nonsense... But agree with previous poster, perhaps she has skewed your picker, instead of screwing your pecker... TFY 6
Author angler_bill Posted July 14, 2017 Author Posted July 14, 2017 You are correct and I don't want to regret that. I'm not afraid of rejection because it is part of life. Thanks for the reply!! 1
Author angler_bill Posted July 14, 2017 Author Posted July 14, 2017 @d0nnivain: the OL was a nut case. When I broke it off she asked me was it because I was gay....LOL!!! I like that cheeky line. Her reaction to that would really give me a clue to her intent. Someone asked me how does she react to other people in the mall....I don't know because I walk there right before closing time because the mall is not as crowded. Another person asked me is she at a kiosk that sells cheap crap like all the rest. No, she is at one of those high end tech products. Something to do with muscle or nerve massage deals...not sure what it is. She told me she works for commission after I asked how business was. Not once during our conversation did she try to talk to me about those products. Also, there are many other women at these kiosk all over the mall. This lady is the only one that actually acknowledges me. The rest will not even smile at me.
kendahke Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 I would ask her for that drink--that is when you will find out if her intention is to sell you something. You can always say "no" and elect not to go any further with her than you already have.
Author angler_bill Posted July 14, 2017 Author Posted July 14, 2017 I forgot to mention. When I first met this very attractive lady she was not at her kiosk. I was walking in another part of the mall and she was approaching me headed the opposite direction. That is why I thought she was speaking to someone behind me....
Author angler_bill Posted July 14, 2017 Author Posted July 14, 2017 @thefooloftheyear: Maybe she is just being nice but I meet/pass a bunch of other attractive women at their kiosk. This is the ONLY woman that has acknowledged that I am even in the mall...When I stopped and talked to her she was putting her products away in a cabinet on the floor and she looked around, saw me, jumps up and starts waving and saying hello. Now if she is only being nice, this must be the nicest woman on the planet. Since I've been divorced for 5 years this is the ONLY woman that has acknowledged me with such enthusiasm. Many give me that "I'm being nice smile" and never speak.
Chilli Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 But ask her if she's seeing anyone before you ask her out. A lesson l learned the hard way when l was19 or so. Still haven't forgotten her reply,after flirting with me every lunchtime for 2mths, 30yrs later. Oh , sorry , giggling , l've got a boyfriend. hmmmmmmmm, thanks for telling me. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 @thefooloftheyear: Maybe she is just being nice but I meet/pass a bunch of other attractive women at their kiosk. This is the ONLY woman that has acknowledged that I am even in the mall...When I stopped and talked to her she was putting her products away in a cabinet on the floor and she looked around, saw me, jumps up and starts waving and saying hello. Now if she is only being nice, this must be the nicest woman on the planet. Since I've been divorced for 5 years this is the ONLY woman that has acknowledged me with such enthusiasm. Many give me that "I'm being nice smile" and never speak. Perhaps she was just trying to close you..??/ What was she selling?? I know some of those people don't make peanuts unless they move product... TFY
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 Sweetie, you will never know unless you ask her to join you for a coffee. Although I might suggest spending time each day stopping by and making small talk in an effort to get to know her further before inviting her for a drink. This way you can establish some kind of consistent report with her as well as confirm that she doesn't have some hidden agenda like trying to sell you something. Good luck. 1
Author angler_bill Posted July 14, 2017 Author Posted July 14, 2017 @Chilli: Excellent point!!....Yesterday I was in training for my new job with another woman. This woman was a knockout!!!....I'm thinking, wow....I'm going to ask this lady out because she had no ring on. During our conversations she must have mentioned her boyfriend a dozen or so times making it clear she was spoken for. So, next time I stop and talk to her I'll someway try to find out if she has a boyfriend....thanks for the tip!! 1
Author angler_bill Posted July 14, 2017 Author Posted July 14, 2017 @thefooloftheyear: She is on commissions for selling these high end products that massage your muscles or something like this. In our conversation never once did she mention the products, offer to demonstrate, or ask me any questions about the product. Our conversation was about the mall and working there. I told her where I was fixing to start working in....she was very easy and pleasant to talk with.
SevenCity Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 @Chilli: Excellent point!!....Yesterday I was in training for my new job with another woman. This woman was a knockout!!!....I'm thinking, wow....I'm going to ask this lady out because she had no ring on. During our conversations she must have mentioned her boyfriend a dozen or so times making it clear she was spoken for. So, next time I stop and talk to her I'll someway try to find out if she has a boyfriend....thanks for the tip!! Don't do that. She could be ending a RL with a guy or seeing someone she's not crazy about and going to dump. Many women want to monkey branch to the next guy before leaving the current. If you ask her if she has a BF, she may think it's a bad idea to go out with you. Just ask her out. Be direct. If she says she's got a boyfriend don't react other than saying "Well let me know if it doesn't work out" or "he's a lucky guy" or some BS. Don't chat her up for weeks / months. Just ask and get your answer - simple. If it doesn't work out, move onto the next one. 1
mikeylo Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 Dude, you are 54 ! She initiated interest and you are not responding in the same way. She is soon going to take it as not interested. If not , it's going to be a huge turn off for her. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 (edited) @thefooloftheyear: She is on commissions for selling these high end products that massage your muscles or something like this. In our conversation never once did she mention the products, offer to demonstrate, or ask me any questions about the product. Our conversation was about the mall and working there. I told her where I was fixing to start working in....she was very easy and pleasant to talk with. Then go with your gut, I guess..Make a move....Fill us in on what happens... I can't say this is true for other guys, and I am not a pro on body language. as I tend to be aloof in public...But for me. its normally not necessarily when they are overly friendly....When they blush, flip their hair, get a bit nervous, fumble stuff, etc, then its a clear bet that they seem interested... But as I said, everyone is different, and what happens to you may not happen to me or anyone else.. TFY Edited July 14, 2017 by thefooloftheyear 1
Author angler_bill Posted July 14, 2017 Author Posted July 14, 2017 @SevenCity: I wasn't planning on chatting her up for weeks/months because of the old saying "you snooze you lose". I will take your advice and not go for the boyfriend question. Matter of fact after reading these posts and talking to some friends next time I see her I will ask her out for a drink....then I will know where this is going....maybe..LOL
Author angler_bill Posted July 14, 2017 Author Posted July 14, 2017 @mikeylo: I've only seen her 3 times in a just over weeks span. I'm out there M-Thursday. On the third time after she waved and said hello I stopped and talked to her. So I did express interest and did not ignore her. She seemed really happy that I stopped and talked to her....but I have not seen her there since that time....I have to go out to the mall today to pick up my shirts at the place i got a job and will go by and see if she is working today....
Author angler_bill Posted July 14, 2017 Author Posted July 14, 2017 @fooloftheyear: I will let ya'll know....this might even give some of the gentlemen in my age range hope if this does result in a date....without the sales coming into play....
SevenCity Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 @SevenCity: I wasn't planning on chatting her up for weeks/months because of the old saying "you snooze you lose". I will take your advice and not go for the boyfriend question. Matter of fact after reading these posts and talking to some friends next time I see her I will ask her out for a drink....then I will know where this is going....maybe..LOL Excellent! She will have more respect for you than beating around the bush. If she says no, no big deal. Be happy that you took a shot and pat yourself on the back for that. Interact with her in the same friendly way. She might have friends I'm 10 years your jr. and one thing I've learned....it's not the rejections I regret. I regret the ones where I didn't even try. And who knows? She might end up being your GF / wife / love of your life. It all starts with asking her out with a specific time / place in mind. Not "sometime", not "maybe", something along the lines of "I'd love to take you out for a drink - when are you free / what's your schedule like?"
preraph Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 I think she was waving at you because she recognizes you from also working in the mall. So mystery solved. You're 54 and if she's 10 years younger, or even 20, she's still an adult woman old enough to make her own decisions and be mature enough for you, so why not just say "Let's have lunch together tomorrow." See how that goes. Maybe you'll find out more if she's single and interested or just a friendly person. Good luck. No harm in asking. She has been flagging you down, but yes, it could just be she's super friendly. 1
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