heavenonearth Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 So, the guy I have been dating for 7 weeks (see thread) suggested something weird. My mom is visiting right now, as my beloved cat recently passed, and I have been super sad. We plan on going to the city tomorrow, for some shopping, cafe and spa time. When I told the guy I am dating, he said that I should let him know if we are nearby, so we can have a coffee. Does this mean he wants to meet my mom? I never had a guy want to meet my parents so willingly. I don't know how to interpret it, if he finds this not to be a huge deal at all, or maybe he is not as into me as I hoped, and so this is not of importance to him? Just thought it was weird how relaxed he seems to be about this. Do you guys think it is too early for this?
Gaeta Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 The question is what does it mean to you? I have had men offer to come with me to family reunions after a couple of dates, it didn't mean much for them but for me family means a lot and I don't impose on them new boyfriends so I said *no* Even though I have always took my time to introduce a man to my family, my siblings were the complete opposite than I. They had no problems bringning their gf over after just 3-4 weeks dating. One of my brothers brought his new gf of 4 weeks to a big family reunion, they have been together 10 years. It really have no incidence on the viability of the relationship, it's just about what you are comfortable with. It's your mom, you decide. 1
Whodatdog Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 I think he just wants to meet for coffee. I dont know that the fact you will be with your mom means anything to him, other than just having coffee with the two of you instead of just you. It could be your mom, or a friend or your sister. You might be over reacting to a simple suggestion. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 It's a matter of convenience. Your mom is there. It's easy & organic for her to meet him now. He's not proposing. Relax. Introduce them & don't over think it. Sorry about your cat. 1
Shanex Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 I also take my time before introducing my parents a new girlfriend. When I was in my 20s, usually after some weeks I would, now, well depends, if it's a mere FWB I won't even mention it, if she's girlfriend material and things can go far between us, then yes the formal introduction has to happen at some point.
No_Go Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 You're overthinking it. Means nothing - just a polite gesture. To share personal experience, my ex invited me to stay 3 days in his parents house 5 states away for a family event after ~8 weeks of dating. I thought it was too much but it was fine. Maybe a bit awkward. It still didn't make our relationship last (although I admit I was kind of more hesitant to break up early on because it created fake sense of being 'serious'). So, the guy I have been dating for 7 weeks (see thread) suggested something weird. My mom is visiting right now, as my beloved cat recently passed, and I have been super sad. We plan on going to the city tomorrow, for some shopping, cafe and spa time. When I told the guy I am dating, he said that I should let him know if we are nearby, so we can have a coffee. Does this mean he wants to meet my mom? I never had a guy want to meet my parents so willingly. I don't know how to interpret it, if he finds this not to be a huge deal at all, or maybe he is not as into me as I hoped, and so this is not of importance to him? Just thought it was weird how relaxed he seems to be about this. Do you guys think it is too early for this? 1
Redhead14 Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 Does your Mom know what your dating goals are? In your other thread, it doesn't sound as though you even know. You say you don't want to marry anyone but see yourself having children at some point . . . My point is, if she's thinking her daughter is looking at a possible son-in-law, you might want to clarify all that for her. But, for this meeting, it's probably no big deal. It's a very casual get together anyway.
Author heavenonearth Posted July 14, 2017 Author Posted July 14, 2017 Yes, we met him at a cafe and he was there for an hour with us, before I had to remind him that he had to leave to get to an appointment of his It was great, they got along well. We stayed a bit longer after he left, and when we were leaving, the waitress told us the bill was already paid for... Urghhh, this guy...
olivetree Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 Yes, we met him at a cafe and he was there for an hour with us, before I had to remind him that he had to leave to get to an appointment of his It was great, they got along well. We stayed a bit longer after he left, and when we were leaving, the waitress told us the bill was already paid for... Urghhh, this guy... That's cute! Sounds like he wants to impress you and your mom. Good signs. 1
fred123 Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 Yes, we met him at a cafe and he was there for an hour with us, before I had to remind him that he had to leave to get to an appointment of his It was great, they got along well. We stayed a bit longer after he left, and when we were leaving, the waitress told us the bill was already paid for... Urghhh, this guy... Wait is that a bad thing paying for the bill without asking her and her mum? Just want to know as im a guy and trying to learn. You didnt sound happy when he did that. I hate a girl to think of me as "urghhh this guy". Was his behaviour needy and suffocating? 1
No_Go Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 Wait is that a bad thing paying for the bill without asking her and her mum? Just want to know as im a guy and trying to learn. You didnt sound happy when he did that. I hate a girl to think of me as "urghhh this guy". Was his behaviour needy and suffocating? Clearly she's trying to be cute. The guy is polite (obv. he won't split the bill for 3 coffees lol), which is good. The only concerning thing is if OP tries to read 'between the lines' of a very casual uneventful coffee afternoon.
Author heavenonearth Posted July 14, 2017 Author Posted July 14, 2017 Clearly she's trying to be cute. The guy is polite (obv. he won't split the bill for 3 coffees lol), which is good. The only concerning thing is if OP tries to read 'between the lines' of a very casual uneventful coffee afternoon. What do you mean with reading between the lines?...
No_Go Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 What do you mean with reading between the lines?... I just meant overthinking it. It is all good, nothing to worry about in this situation:) He's kind which is good news.
Dis Posted July 15, 2017 Posted July 15, 2017 First, I'm so sorry about your cat I'm a cat lover too so I understand how much it hurts to lose a feline family member Second, your threads are a bit all over the place You posted about your ex "lying" to you a few weeks ago. Then decided to date this guy who is 7 months out of a 15 year relationship. You were wondering if you were a rebound. Seems like this guy might be rushing things (meeting your mom so soon) so thats def a possiblity You seem like you're in a rush to go in some not so great and also oppossing directions
elaine567 Posted July 15, 2017 Posted July 15, 2017 Just thought it was weird how relaxed he seems to be about this. Why wouldn't he be? He is 38, not 18, and has been in a long term relationship. He is most likely highly adept at dealing with his other half's mother and other relatives, he will be well "domesticated" and know all the tricks to make a good impression with the "inlaws".
coolheadal Posted July 15, 2017 Posted July 15, 2017 So, the guy I have been dating for 7 weeks (see thread) suggested something weird. My mom is visiting right now, as my beloved cat recently passed, and I have been super sad. We plan on going to the city tomorrow, for some shopping, cafe and spa time. When I told the guy I am dating, he said that I should let him know if we are nearby, so we can have a coffee. Does this mean he wants to meet my mom? I never had a guy want to meet my parents so willingly. I don't know how to interpret it, if he finds this not to be a huge deal at all, or maybe he is not as into me as I hoped, and so this is not of importance to him? Just thought it was weird how relaxed he seems to be about this. Do you guys think it is too early for this? Nothing wrong with him wanting to meet your parents. I do also and suggest that because then I know that the girl would be serious about things in our relationship. Most women wouldn't tell their mom about me yet. That's how I know we're in some sort of friend-zone and not in a relationship serious enough to meet the parents. He might have other reasons to get on your good side. The cat passing is a lost to you know just know the cat will always be there even when it's your time also. Animals never go away really even in passing they will always be around in spirit form. When I had lost my cat Oscar to cancer the night he past was the night I seen a black and white ghost cat wondering in my master bed room then he disappeared..
Author heavenonearth Posted July 15, 2017 Author Posted July 15, 2017 First, I'm so sorry about your cat I'm a cat lover too so I understand how much it hurts to lose a feline family member Second, your threads are a bit all over the place You posted about your ex "lying" to you a few weeks ago. Then decided to date this guy who is 7 months out of a 15 year relationship. You were wondering if you were a rebound. Seems like this guy might be rushing things (meeting your mom so soon) so thats def a possiblity You seem like you're in a rush to go in some not so great and also oppossing directions My ex has nothing to do with any of this. He means nothing to me. What is a not so great direction?
Author heavenonearth Posted July 15, 2017 Author Posted July 15, 2017 Nothing wrong with him wanting to meet your parents. I do also and suggest that because then I know that the girl would be serious about things in our relationship. Most women wouldn't tell their mom about me yet. That's how I know we're in some sort of friend-zone and not in a relationship serious enough to meet the parents. He might have other reasons to get on your good side. The cat passing is a lost to you know just know the cat will always be there even when it's your time also. Animals never go away really even in passing they will always be around in spirit form. When I had lost my cat Oscar to cancer the night he past was the night I seen a black and white ghost cat wondering in my master bed room then he disappeared.. Yes, I do miss my cat so much, it's the worst loss I have ever experienced. I am having a hard time with it.
TheWoman Posted July 15, 2017 Posted July 15, 2017 I lost a cat last year, it was terrible I cried for a week. Sorry The guy sounds lovely, his actions are sincere and thoughtful. All good I would say. You're overthinking it though. Just relax and enjoy.
Author heavenonearth Posted July 15, 2017 Author Posted July 15, 2017 I lost a cat last year, it was terrible I cried for a week. Sorry The guy sounds lovely, his actions are sincere and thoughtful. All good I would say. You're overthinking it though. Just relax and enjoy. Thank you, yes, it's been tough, and the guy has been a huge support to me during all of it. He rushed to be with me the moment I called him, when I found out she died, and he stayed with me for 3 days and drove with me to her cremation and all of it, took me out for dinner, distracted me by taking me to the beach, etc, etc. Just the best guy, really. 3
Author heavenonearth Posted July 17, 2017 Author Posted July 17, 2017 Why wouldn't he be? He is 38, not 18, and has been in a long term relationship. He is most likely highly adept at dealing with his other half's mother and other relatives, he will be well "domesticated" and know all the tricks to make a good impression with the "inlaws". Makes sense. I guess I am not used to dating "older" guys.
FastHands Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 I'm sorry about your kitty. One of my dear ones passed months ago. I had one girl that wanted nothing to do with my family and she didn't last. I'd take it easy and let it work its pace.
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