wmacbride Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 If you are a betrayed husband, what was it like for you when you found out bout the affair? Speaking for yourself, what ws the most hurtful part of the situation? If you feel you have moved on, what factors do you feel made this possible you? Do you find it hard to trust women now when you are in a relationship with one? I'm not really looking for anyone to answer all of that. I'm just looking more for men to share their stories.
Woggle Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 I walked and she was having sex with another man. I felt betrayed and angry but I kept my composure and told her it was over and she would be served with papers. She decided to leave and move in with a friend and I got the house. The most hurtful part was not the cheating but the abuse tale she spun in court. It was in a courtroom full of woman looking at me like I was the biggest scum on earth and it felt like I was being burned at the stake. That part was worse than the cheating and everything else because in divorce situations sometimes society still sees men as the victimizers and women as the victims. Luckily she couldn't keep her story straight and exposed her lies. For some years after the divorce I was very bitter towards women. Look at some of my old posts and you can see that but I have met many women who are nothing like the ones I dealt with during that period and I am happily remarried to one of the best women I man can ask for in his life. Holding on to that hatred was destroying me so I let it go.
SammySammy Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 A couple more questions, if I may: How do you really feel about the other man? Does the OM or the affair make you feel differently about yourself?
Woggle Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 A couple more questions, if I may: How do you really feel about the other man? Does the OM or the affair make you feel differently about yourself? There were other men and and many of them but I only saw one. He ran out of the house so fast that he could have set a world record and that is all I know about him. At this point I couldn't care less about him.
JuneJulySeptember Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 If you are a betrayed husband, what was it like for you when you found out bout the affair? Speaking for yourself, what ws the most hurtful part of the situation? If you feel you have moved on, what factors do you feel made this possible you? Do you find it hard to trust women now when you are in a relationship with one? I'm not really looking for anyone to answer all of that. I'm just looking more for men to share their stories. My ex-GF grabbed one of my friends while drunk and started making out with him. In front of me... I still find it hard to completely trust women. I think men are intrinsically lazy and irresponsible, but I think women are intrinsically evil. Which is not say all men are lazy and all women are evil, but I think women tend more towards that way than men. When they want to get back at a guy, they can really do some nasty stuff.
central Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 I really didn't care, because I was ready to divorce her before that point for many reasons. I felt sorry for the OM, because he had a terrible, sexless marriage, and he wasn't going to do any better hooking up with my STBX. Anyway, I did divorce her soon afterwards, and it really never bothered me.
BetrayedH Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 If you are a betrayed husband, what was it like for you when you found out bout the affair? Speaking for yourself, what ws the most hurtful part of the situation? If you feel you have moved on, what factors do you feel made this possible you? Do you find it hard to trust women now when you are in a relationship with one? I'm not really looking for anyone to answer all of that. I'm just looking more for men to share their stories. I was devastated. I'd never considered my wife capable and I was just awe-struck that it'd been going on for over a year. I wasn't mentally prepared to lose everything that I'd focused on for more than a decade so I went into a sort of damage-control mode, trying to salvage the marriage. The most damaging part was the lies. I couldn't come to grips with the truth because I didn't know what the truth was. Was she really remorseful or was she in her own damage-control mode? Was NC really in place? WTF really happened? All of that questioning became obsessive. I lost sleep, lost weight, and lost my fool head after about 6 months. I truly believe I had PTSD. That was really the hardest part. I did move on and what helped was finally making the decision to divorce. It was truly liberating to know that the effort was finally over. I'd still say I wasn't really healthy for a good two years post-divorce. And I'll never quite be the same. It's not that I think women are evil or that you can't trust anyone. But I'm just not the same guy that had so much faith in humanity. I have a healthy degree of skepticism. I'll never have all of my eggs in one basket again. I'll never have blind trust in someone again. Sadly, I'll probably never be as invested in a relationship again.
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