Is this the time to run away?

[Joga_31]

My gf the other day said "you are acting like this is a marriage"

 

And I said does this mean you don't take me serious and she said no not at all said that she is too young to think in this way.

 

This was in regards to me telling her I want to move in and looking to stop applying for nursing school and become a bus driver because bus driving pays well in my city.

 

She had previously wanted me to move in with her and I declined because I did not think I could do it with my security job.

 

Now that she has a new roommate one year later she said she does not need me to move in anymore and that she likes where she lives so maybe in one year time we can move in together.

 

but she also said we should live in separate homes because she is scared that we will get bored of each other.

 

I am turning 27 and she will turn 23 in January.

[kendahke]

You can't wait a year to see how things shake out?

 

Unless there are other compelling reasons to leave, I'd just spend the next year making an evaluation of the relationship in whole, not make a snap judgment on one thing because of hurt feelings, before deciding upon ending it.

Edited July 13, 2017 by kendahke

[Joga_31]

You can't wait a year to see how things shake out?

 

Unless there are other compelling reasons to leave, I'd just spend the next year making an evaluation of the relationship in whole, not make a snap judgment on one thing because of hurt feelings, before deciding upon ending it.

 

sounds reasonable I will listen to this advice.

[smackie9]

trust me once you do move in you are going to wonder why you did......

[kendahke]

sounds reasonable I will listen to this advice.

 

And hey, if you find that there are compelling reasons within 6 months to end this, then by all means, do so.

 

I think that her comment is a bit of a flare sent up that you should pay attention to, but if everything else right now is going reasonably well, adopt a "see, but say nothing" attitude for the time being and observe any patterns of behavior that are setting up on her side. If she begins a pattern of devaluing you or your relationship, pay attention to that and address it. Don't let it drag out for a year because you want to move in with her next July.

[Joga_31]

trust me once you do move in you are going to wonder why you did......

haha lol ok

[central]

I suggest you continue with nursing school. Driving a bus may pay well now, but in a few years they will probably be largely automated the way things are trending. You could be out of work with no skills. All areas of medicine will grow, and still require extensive human interaction.

[Joga_31]

I suggest you continue with nursing school. Driving a bus may pay well now, but in a few years they will probably be largely automated the way things are trending. You could be out of work with no skills. All areas of medicine will grow, and still require extensive human interaction.

 

I think I only have patience for the LPN 1 year and half nursing career.

 

Not the RN career. I am 26 and live at home, I failed my first career as a police officer I could not get in for some personal reasons I can't disclose.

[basil67]

Police then nursing. It sounds to me like you are drawn to a career which involves helping others in need. I worry that you could find bus driving unfulfilling.

[kendahke]

I think I only have patience for the LPN 1 year and half nursing career.

 

Not the RN career. I am 26 and live at home,

 

Use your youth and circumstances to your advantage. If full on RN nursing isn't for you, then you might want to look into EMS, which is a blend of both policing and nursing worlds.

[Versacehottie]

I don't think you should give up nursing school either. That's going to be one of the most solid jobs going forward. Also it seems to me that you might be willing to do something for quicker career money (like bus driving) in an effort to accelerate your future with her. Am I right? I think that is a move you will regret later on. Put your career first, the rest will fall in place with the right person. It could be her but she's right she is young. For the sake of the relationship, you may want to wait a while until you are more secure with your career & career choices and she knows herself better. That's "probably" why she answered the way she did--however, it IS a tiny caution. Keep the relationship going and your eyes open to how it is. Good luck

[Joga_31]

I suggest you continue with nursing school. Driving a bus may pay well now, but in a few years they will probably be largely automated the way things are trending. You could be out of work with no skills. All areas of medicine will grow, and still require extensive human interaction.

 

I never thought that bus driving would be automated, but yes there are lots of skytrains nowadays. In my area

[Joga_31]

I don't think you should give up nursing school either. That's going to be one of the most solid jobs going forward. Also it seems to me that you might be willing to do something for quicker career money (like bus driving) in an effort to accelerate your future with her. Am I right? I think that is a move you will regret later on. Put your career first, the rest will fall in place with the right person. It could be her but she's right she is young. For the sake of the relationship, you may want to wait a while until you are more secure with your career & career choices and she knows herself better. That's "probably" why she answered the way she did--however, it IS a tiny caution. Keep the relationship going and your eyes open to how it is. Good luck

 

Very true , I do want to accelarate my life and relationship, i dont want to be at home, but it seems like i need more work on career, since my 1st goal failed. Its easier said then done for sure

[Joga_31]

Use your youth and circumstances to your advantage. If full on RN nursing isn't for you, then you might want to look into EMS, which is a blend of both policing and nursing worlds.

 

Yeah paramedic work looks fun as well, and I definitely love helping others, that part of me I defined years ago. Im only doing bus driving to move out on my own and potentially live with my girlfriend. Also yesterday she was talking about kids and having a home. I dont get this gf , one day she said too young , the next talking a future with me.

[kendahke]

Yeah paramedic work looks fun as well, and I definitely love helping others, that part of me I defined years ago. Im only doing bus driving to move out on my own and potentially live with my girlfriend. Also yesterday she was talking about kids and having a home. I dont get this gf , one day she said too young , the next talking a future with me.

 

Consider this type of talk "thinking out loud" and put absolutely no weight behind it. And don't join in the talk when she does that. Just say "that's nice, dear" because you're not in a position to be watering that seed she's planting. Salt the earth instead until such a time as YOU are ready to discuss homes, kids and futures.

[Versacehottie]

Yeah paramedic work looks fun as well, and I definitely love helping others, that part of me I defined years ago. Im only doing bus driving to move out on my own and potentially live with my girlfriend. Also yesterday she was talking about kids and having a home. I dont get this gf , one day she said too young , the next talking a future with me.

 

Exactly the reason to stay on YOUR path. It's what you enjoy and your gf changes her mind about stuff. If you want to do the best for your self and the relationship (any relationship), you don't toss your dreams aside. If you have time, maybe do uber or something on the side to earn extra money. How much time do you have left in nursing or paramedic school?

[Robert]

Thread closed. A similar thread can be found here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/628361-will-cause-conflict-relationship

 

~6