Shs101 Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 Alright serious question for a very dumb thing here IMO (aka social media causing bickering in relationship) Long story short I've been this girl for 3 months now...new to our relationship but we are AMAZING with each other. Seriously, were a great couple and she treats me well as likewise. Just one thing that constantly bothers me is her instagram use. In other words, more so, her liking guys selfies... yes it sounds dumb because it is dumb but it's enough to get me aggravated. I'm 24 she's 25....I know she treats me well I know she's loyal, etc etc. but I have a hard time staying off her page and "lurking" as I'm sure most people do or have done and it's horrible. It's like an addicting pain. To see **** that 97 percent of it doesn't even matter. Is it jealousy? I honestly don't think so because contrary to belief I'm a pretty secure person, so I believe. I think I just feel disrespected in a way. For starters, these guys are not her friends. NO I'm not trying to "control" her, 8 just feel you shouldn't be liking guys posing around selfies when you're with someone. i know the girls on here are going to respond with the "you don't own her" ..no kidding. Again I'm very happy with her otherwise. But seeing stuff like that just gives me a bad image of her. It's a shame what social media does to relationships these days. Any positive advice on going on with this subject other than delete your accounts. Please I'm really looking for advice here... the subject to me just seems too crazy to argue with her about and I know this that's why I've came here to see what anyone else thinks about this.
Quirkster Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 Alright serious question for a very dumb thing here IMO (aka social media causing bickering in relationship) Long story short I've been this girl for 3 months now...new to our relationship but we are AMAZING with each other. Seriously, were a great couple and she treats me well as likewise. Just one thing that constantly bothers me is her instagram use. In other words, more so, her liking guys selfies... yes it sounds dumb because it is dumb but it's enough to get me aggravated. I'm 24 she's 25....I know she treats me well I know she's loyal, etc etc. but I have a hard time staying off her page and "lurking" as I'm sure most people do or have done and it's horrible. It's like an addicting pain. To see **** that 97 percent of it doesn't even matter. Is it jealousy? I honestly don't think so because contrary to belief I'm a pretty secure person, so I believe. I think I just feel disrespected in a way. For starters, these guys are not her friends. NO I'm not trying to "control" her, 8 just feel you shouldn't be liking guys posing around selfies when you're with someone. i know the girls on here are going to respond with the "you don't own her" ..no kidding. Again I'm very happy with her otherwise. But seeing stuff like that just gives me a bad image of her. It's a shame what social media does to relationships these days. Any positive advice on going on with this subject other than delete your accounts. Please I'm really looking for advice here... the subject to me just seems too crazy to argue with her about and I know this that's why I've came here to see what anyone else thinks about this. Better learn some self-control. That kind of behavior will eventually erode your relationship ........ never ends well. On the flip side if she's the kind of girl who's always posting for attention - dump her. You'll NEVER be able to fill that void and in some cases addiction.
preraph Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 Forgive me asking but how often to you see each other face to face? And have you discussed exclusivity? Because if she's flirting with other guys online or sending out photos of herself half dressed or any of that, that's not being exclusive. So I'm hoping you have been seeing each other at least once a week for 3 months and that you have NOT discussed and said you are exclusive, because what you need to do is ask her to be exclusive but while doing so, lay out what that means to you, and that is neither of you interacting with random opposite sex on social media or going out with others. If you're just talking about an internet relationship between you and her, that's not even a relationship and what she does isn't any of your beeswax.
somanymistakes Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 Again I'm very happy with her otherwise. But seeing stuff like that just gives me a bad image of her. It's a shame what social media does to relationships these days. Are you angry that she enjoys attention, or angry that you have to see it? Many people feed off attention, it's not unusual, and not anything new that social media or selfies have caused, they just make it manifest differently. The same girl who thrives on posting a cute picture of herself with a kitten to get likes might previously have been the girl who brought donuts to the office regularly to get thanks. People like being liked. Now, if she's posting SEXY photos and liking guys nudes or something like that, that's a different story. That still doesn't actually mean she wants to sleep with someone else (it might, it might not) but it suggests she's looking for a whole different kind of attention. If she likes that kind of attention, then when she's not on social media, she's probably flirting with people... and in that case you two need to talk about boundaries and what is and isn't okay, because a naturally flirty person may have very different ideas of where the boundary between "harmless fun" and "cheating" falls, and that will blow up in your faces eventually.
somanymistakes Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 If you're just talking about an internet relationship between you and her, that's not even a relationship and what she does isn't any of your beeswax. If it counts as a relationship when it comes to cheating (that is, an internet-only affair still counts as an affair in many minds) then it counts as a relationship regardless. If they both say it's a relationship and have set expectations, it's just as wrong to break them even if they're not meeting in person.
SammySammy Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 If it counts as a relationship when it comes to cheating (that is, an internet-only affair still counts as an affair in many minds) then it counts as a relationship regardless. If they both say it's a relationship and have set expectations, it's just as wrong to break them even if they're not meeting in person. Really? Wow. What people consider relationships these days amazes me. A whole lot of emotions and expectations poured into flimsy and fragile "relationships". Seems so unrealistic and such a waste of energy to me. Like Preraph, I'd prefer something more concrete.
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