Author hcedrick Posted September 12, 2017 Author Posted September 12, 2017 I broke a 2 month NC in which I sent Facebook friend requests to my ex girlfriend (4 ½ years relationship), and also sent one to her mother. Her mother has always been super nice to me even after the breakup and I felt so stupid inside that I had to delete both of them in order to move on. The reason why I added both back is because it's not in my nature, it's not who I am to hold a grudge against someone. Me and my ex didn't have a clean breakup as she went off with another dude. She is still single now, maybe it didn't work with the dude or probably she's been banging other dudes but that's none of my business and good for her if she's happy for now, but I'm convinced she will never find anyone better than me. I added my ex back not because I'm trying to re-conciliate (at least not immediately), but because I felt immature deleting her a couple of weeks ago. She kept me in her friends list even after the break up, I was the one deleting her and I don't think she enjoyed the move. Right now I'm super anxious as to know if she will accept the friend request, if she will be mad at me or block me, or just ignore me. So far her mother accepted my request. Also, my ex-gf birthday was 2 days ago. I don't know if I should wish her a happy late birthday or something. If she accepts my friends request I want to talk to her. I want to tell her that it's not in my nature to keep negative feelings towards her. I'm a better man than that. Maybe I shouldn't have done this but it was stronger than me Hopefully I won't regret it too badly
bummer Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 (edited) [] I'm worried about you growing soft and forgetting the rules and imagining some reality where you don't control your own actions? Stop. Here's a refresher in case you hit your head recently. Edited October 20, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Bromeo Posted September 12, 2017 Posted September 12, 2017 (edited) [] I'm worried about you growing soft and forgetting the rules and imagining some reality where you don't control your own actions? Stop. Here's a refresher in case you hit your head recently. The internet is unforgiving and doesn't forget. Lol If you are like me, this is the beginning of additional pain for you. Are you looking forward to seeing her with another man, happy and smiling, on vacation, and at Xmas, knowing new chad is plowing your ex? Or, even better, nebulous relationship quotes that make you wonder all the time? Random, vague garbage designed to be unclear? Someone tell me chicks don't do this. Lol Or, my absolute fave, hugging on some chad, but doesn't tag or caption it. been there too. lol Social media is about 5% accurate of real life. Hell, mine is limited to parties, special events, song links, and landscapes. Don't be that guy. Edited October 20, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author hcedrick Posted September 15, 2017 Author Posted September 15, 2017 Recap: Me and my ex-gf were together 4 ½ years. She left me in March but we lived together until July when she had sex with another guy then I moved out. From July to September I was NC with her. -------------------------------------------------------------- Now: In August I deleted her and her mother from my FB account. After a couple days, I felt stupid doing that and immature so I added both of them back. (Her mother has always been super nice to me) Her mother accepted. My ex ignored and instead she sent me a message: "Why did you delete me and then you want to add me to your friends list again?" I replied: "Because I don't want to keep negative feelings towards you. We could continue to ignore each other until the end of time but I'm not a guy like that. I don't want to continue my life with anger inside about you. I took the time to think about what happened and I respect and understand your decision. I hope you had a great birthday and that you are doing well." She replied : "Yes I had a great birthday thanks." In a cold way. And she ignored my friend request so after 3 days I canceled it. Only to find out this morning she been ****ing other dudes, not the dude she had sex with when I moved out, a completely new dude and from what I saw she completely turned into a slut and attention whore. That was it. That was the turning point and that was when I realized now is the right time to change things in my life. I have a lot and a lot of regrets about this relationship. But I need to focus on myself and stop feeling guilty about it. I'm always thinking about things I should have done differently and take the blame but at the same time now she's been acting like a total slut and I'm not responsible for this. To be honest I'm totally disgusted and turned off by her promiscuous behavior and to know that I took this girl's virginity long time ago and now she's banging random dudes like crazy, it just disgusts me. I feel like she has no respect for herself whatsoever. I feel bad because I felt I wasn't able to give her what she truely wanted: She wanted to feel "valued" by her female friends by being with a dude who has it all. This new dude has everything. He looks good, works out, has plenty of cash, has a lot of tattoos. But at the same time I'm like wtf that's all superficial. That means nothing. I'm having so many ups and downs. Sometimes I feel happy and confident and sometimes I'm having dark thoughts near suicidal for feeling useless to life. I told my own mother if I had a gun I'd be dead. She was super sad. I won't kill myself but I'm just devastated and have a hard time coping with this. One of my best friend told me I should have never said that to her and it made me look like a ****ing beta male and it just pushed her further away. Not dreaming about getting back with her anymore I'm past that denial state. I just want to move on and be happy but the thought of her looking super happy with another dude who looks better than me...it kills me. I try to stay positive but my feelings are a rollercoaster now. I know I won't break no contact ever again for now. I'm scared because my friend told me: it may take a long time, a very long time maybe, but she will reach out to you some day that's for sure. But hopefully, that day you won't care about her any more. I'm scared. I don't want to think of the day she will talk to me again. I don't want to open up old wounds but at the same time I'm such a coward I don't want to block her number and block her from every where. I broke No Contact with her because I felt bad inside that our last memory was all about me being angry. It's hard for real.
trustyourself Posted September 15, 2017 Posted September 15, 2017 Hey man, we all make mistakes. We are human. Dont beat yourself up. Take it as a lesson learned, and move forward. You deserve better, and you will find someone who deserves you and make you happier than this woman could have ever tried to make you. Well that is what i keep on telling myself
Soak Posted September 18, 2017 Posted September 18, 2017 Keep moving forward and try not to look back. If you do, don't stop and look back, just keep on moving forward. Some days you will stand still, others you will move forward. Some tips for moving forward are: join the gym and / or start some exercise. Start a new hobby. This is an important one, you want to be creating new memories and it will give you something to focus on, something you enjoy . So yeah, maybe do something positive you never thought you'd do. You have broken up, she is in the past. You need to be looking at the present and future. Do not turn back, put all ideas of initiating contact out of your mind. Best of luck my friend.
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