mistycord Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Something I've always been fascinated about is the way technology (specifically social media) affects many age old practices currently that have existed forever such as dating. I've heard many people talk about how social media has only contributed to damaging relationships nowadays. I've seen many arguments between couples start because of something that happened on social media (one of them liked someone else's photo, one of them friended/followed someone, talked to someone else online, etc.) so I was just wondering if anyone here had thoughts on this (what's appropriate versus not, if social media is damaging relationships, etc.).
basil67 Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Social media does not damage relationships. It's the way it's used which can damage relationships. Inappropriate conversations via social media are harmful - just as they are in real life. Paying too much attention to someone of the opposite sex is harmful - just as it is in real life. Meanwhile people who get jealous over small things on social media would be jealous over small things in real life. Social media is just an extension of real life. Use the same rules and it's all good. 2
Redhead14 Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Something I've always been fascinated about is the way technology (specifically social media) affects many age old practices currently that have existed forever such as dating. I've heard many people talk about how social media has only contributed to damaging relationships nowadays. I've seen many arguments between couples start because of something that happened on social media (one of them liked someone else's photo, one of them friended/followed someone, talked to someone else online, etc.) so I was just wondering if anyone here had thoughts on this (what's appropriate versus not, if social media is damaging relationships, etc.). I've seen it do more harm than good. What we are experiencing are the unintended consequences of becoming a "virtual" world. Things that the creators could not/did not anticipate. People need to learn that since they are living under a virtual microscope, they need to keep their skirts down . . .
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Social media as used and what expectations have evolved since it's popularity makes it much more complicated. We all know of people who have the attitude that if you are not on FB or what not, there must be something you are hiding. I encountered a person with that exact sentiment. She flat out wrote in her profile that if you didn't have a FB account, she would not consider you. Yikes. There are those who also expect and are anxious if and when you don't mention them in their social media accounts. I for one, will not until I know that I am in a serious relationship. This revolving turn-style of mentioning, posting pictures and information about every person one dates is simply crazy. Yet, some people expect that. I am very carefully and selective about what I put up. Although a techie, I find social media to be useful to an extent, but my life is largely private. In the end, I find social media to be unhelpful and only feeds our voyeuristic cravings that I find disturbing and unnecessary. 1
Author mistycord Posted July 13, 2017 Author Posted July 13, 2017 Social media as used and what expectations have evolved since it's popularity makes it much more complicated. We all know of people who have the attitude that if you are not on FB or what not, there must be something you are hiding. I encountered a person with that exact sentiment. She flat out wrote in her profile that if you didn't have a FB account, she would not consider you. Yikes. There are those who also expect and are anxious if and when you don't mention them in their social media accounts. I for one, will not until I know that I am in a serious relationship. This revolving turn-style of mentioning, posting pictures and information about every person one dates is simply crazy. Yet, some people expect that. I am very carefully and selective about what I put up. Although a techie, I find social media to be useful to an extent, but my life is largely private. In the end, I find social media to be unhelpful and only feeds our voyeuristic cravings that I find disturbing and unnecessary. Yeah I recently had a friend who said that not changing your relationship status on Facebook mean't that you were trying to hide your relationship and I'm like no?? She also said that not posting a lot of pictures or your significant other mean't you were tying to hide then which I also disagreed with. I like to keep my love life private. Not cause I'm trying to "hide" the person. I'm personally just not comfortable with my relationships being under the lens of a bunch of people I barely encounter in my day to day life. 1
loverboy69 Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 There's a generational divide on this subject. Some older social media users claim for example that FB relationships aren't real and therefore we shouldn't give them any emotional investment. Based on all the posts and heartache over social media I'd say that our online actions can and do impact our self esteem. If liking someone's picture can cause a heated argument/breakup or if being unfriended leads to heartache then it's definitely real at least for some and can cut deep. The prevalence of advice on this board is to block/unfriend our exes on social media as it is. (no contact) We wouldn't tell people that if it didn't mean anything.
OatsAndHall Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 Social media shouldn't be damaging to a relationship (it can enhance it, in fact) but I have had more issues with it in relationships than not over the years. Right now, I am seeing more and more attention-seeking behavior (along with inappropriate posts/pics..) out of my "friends" on social media and I am actually finding it kind of disturbing. A high school class mate of mine asked to meet up for dinner about a year ago. We hung out once, it was apparent that she wanted a romantic relationship but I backed out quickly because of her behavior over social media. She is certainly an attention seeker, posts selfie after selfie and has no issue with married men referring to her as "sexy". She posts an "outfit of the day" selfie each day and 90% of her clothing choices leave very little to the imagination. And, again, the attention she gets is from guys and they post responses that I find inappropriate. Don't even ask how guys respond to her Breast Cancer Awareness posts..
Lorenza Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 I think people who deny that social media has an effect on relationships are usually the old-school ones who dated before it became so big and have never truly caught up with the trend. If your dating life started with OLD, Facebook and other medias, there is little chance those things won't impact your relationships to a certain degree. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat - they all give an illusion of endless choices and possibilities and has been proven to adding up to cheating. People live for taking pretty pictures. Collecting likes. Getting an ego boost. It's hard to look at it with a grain of salt when you're caught up in that world. You end up on a hedonistic treadmill and it's never enough. Your partner is not enough. Right now I have set 3 new rules for myself. 1) Not to date a man who's very active on social medias. To be honest having a very active Instagram account has become a big turn off for me. 2) Not to befriend them on Facebook. Whatever they're doing on their account, I don't need to know. Even better if they don't have Facebook. 3) Chat less, talk on phone more. Chat is an endless source of misunderstanding. 1
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