trustyourself Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Short story is my ex broke up with me on Monday. This is our second go, and it only lasted 3 weeks. She lives with her parents, and when they found out she is talking to me again, they freaked out and basically forbade her from seeing me. She is from a tight knit Hispanic family, even though she is 25, she still lives with them. She broke it off basically stating that she cant go against her parents or lie to them about who she is hanging out with. We also had a small argument on Friday and she said that maybe they were right, and we are not good for each other. I am gutted, as I believe if she really wanted to make things work, she would sit them down and tell them that she wants me in her life. I tried to explain to her that they would come around if they saw we could make each other happy, but once she gets an idea in her head, she stubbonly maintains it. This really sucks. Everyone is telling me she will be back , and this is not the last I have heard from her, but I do not know how I feel about that.
Zahara Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Everyone is telling me she will be back , and this is not the last I have heard from her, but I do not know how I feel about that. Of course, she's exhibited the push and pull, hot and cold from the beginning. She'll likely come around again at some point and tug at the leash. You on the other hand, need to get a hold of your dignity and move on. 2
preraph Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Consider that she may be using them for her excuse to keep from hurting your feelings too. But I do agree with what you said about if she cared, she's stand up to them. I feel like adults who are still taking orders from their parents certainly aren't ready for a real adult relationship.
Author trustyourself Posted July 12, 2017 Author Posted July 12, 2017 Yeah, I have considered that, and I think it might have been used as an excuse to take the easy way out when she had second doubts. I plan to move on. She obviously is not mature enough in every way to have an adult relationship. I gave her a second chance because I love her, but she just threw it back in my face.
Author trustyourself Posted July 19, 2017 Author Posted July 19, 2017 So it turns out that I am an idiot. She met someone else, and she just used all this as an excuse to change her mind so she can be with him. I am gutted. How can people treat other people this way?! I cant believe I was so gullible. I am heartbroken and hollow. How do I move on from this?
preraph Posted July 19, 2017 Posted July 19, 2017 People who still live with their parents have not had the opportunity to fully mature. It is what it is. She has not found it necessary to "leave the nest," which is a normal milestone in life and in gaining your own maturity and your own self-identity. Those who haven't done it yet really haven't fully matured or learned to lean on their own selves to make decisions, etc. I agree with you, but you can't force her to want to "grow up." If you even tried, you'd just be replacing her parent. People really need to live on their own and supporting themselves and relying only on themselves for a couple of years before they should couple up and move in together or they're skipping a valuable phase in self-reliance that will enable them to make better choices and not choose a man to rely on out of fear, etc. And it keeps young men from still acting like little boys who their girlfriend ends up having to treat like a little boy, too, which isn't sexy. 1
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