d0nnivain Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 . Why chase 1 girl for so long when you have plenty of other options. He attempted to have a serious conversation with me recently i avoided the conversation. Did you ever consider that he actually likes you? Seriously, you have to talk to this guy. That is what adults do. 1
Author Yungstagurl Posted July 12, 2017 Author Posted July 12, 2017 I know I need to have the conversation but I guess I'm just scared that he does only want me for sex and that will hurt when I actually like him. But I guess that's life you live and learn and sometimes you get hurt but you live and move on. At least with the conversation I'll know where he stands.. I'll be honest but I'm not going to pour my heart out. I appreciate everyone's opinion and honesty and for putting up with my inexperienced naive silly self.
Redhead14 Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 I know I need to have the conversation but I guess I'm just scared that he does only want me for sex and that will hurt when I actually like him. But I guess that's life you live and learn and sometimes you get hurt but you live and move on. At least with the conversation I'll know where he stands.. I'll be honest but I'm not going to pour my heart out. I appreciate everyone's opinion and honesty and for putting up with my inexperienced naive silly self. If you are afraid of communicating effectively and upfront with someone, then you are not as close to them as you think you might be. It will be what it will be and better to know the answer, whatever it is, than walking on these eggshells and wondering and not being honest with him. When you do what you should do here, you will be less naive than you were before. What you are really naive about is the value of effective communication. You aren't naive about men just wanting you for sex. You understand full well that that can happen.
d0nnivain Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 You don't have to pour your heart out but finding love is risky & you do have to take a leap of faith. If you like him & would like to date him, let that be known. Yes, it's a risk but it's better then wondering how he feels & being stuck in limbo. Finding out that he only wants "something casual" which is the polite way of saying sex only will hurt less than having sex with him thinking he's open to more & finding out you were wrong. There is an additional layer of risk here because you may not have developed a good BS detector & he could lie to you. Question becomes do you trust him / think he's honorable? While you may be inexperienced, you are not silly. Everybody has Qs. I wish something like this forum existed when I was younger. I had to make all the stupid mistakes & learn from experience, a very harsh teacher.
No_Go Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 It could be very long. One guy that keeps chasing me has been around like 3 or 4 years already, I had 2 LTRs in the meanwhile but he's not going away.... On the reverse side I kept obsessing with someone for like 7-8 years after he rejected me on year 1 and married someone else after his first divorce was finalized.. There's this guy that has been trying to sleep with me for about 2 years now. Don't know if it's just about sex or more but I think he may be giving up and is a little frustrated because I keep playing games. I'm wondering how long does it take to stop wanting someone? I know it's different for each person but I'm just wondering from experience how long it takes. Do you continue to want them but no longer chase them or do you just move on to the next person?
TheFinalWord Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 There's this guy that has been trying to sleep with me for about 2 years now. Don't know if it's just about sex or more but I think he may be giving up and is a little frustrated because I keep playing games. I'm wondering how long does it take to stop wanting someone? I know it's different for each person but I'm just wondering from experience how long it takes. Do you continue to want them but no longer chase them or do you just move on to the next person? There is no set time limit. If he becomes infatuated his desire for you can last for years. It can be the case where someone can become infatuated, but also know you are emotionally manipulative. So it's possible to both despise and desire a person at the same time. I've never found that combination to lead to a good relationship down the road. 1
mikeylo Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 If you don't step up at the right time, attraction will go down eventually. Mostly because it's been 2 years of it not going anywhere and him trying to have a serious conversation and you ignoring it. It seems like you are wanting him to leave so that you are not the bad guy !
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