preraph Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Next time probably I'll probably just leave even if it's rude. Say, I'm sorry, but I'm sure you've noticed there is no connection here, so let's make it an early night. I'll see you to your car. Check! 2
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Maybe you had a boog hangin' Who really knows... learn and keep moving forward with a positive attitude. This happened to me on a date once! And he was soooooo tall and we were standing at a bar! Every time I looked up to talk to him it was all I could see. 2
SevenCity Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Say, I'm sorry, but I'm sure you've noticed there is no connection here, so let's make it an early night. I'll see you to your car. Check! Women don't handle rejection well at all. Best to say "Hey it was great meeting you but I've got to run"
Redhead14 Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 In all honesty I was hoping she would be different in person. -- Perhaps she was thinking the same thing . . . 6
basil67 Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Next time probably I'll probably just leave even if it's rude. And if she was quiet because she was shy or due to a social skill issue, how would you feel about hurting her by being so rude? It's one thing to be short to someone who is rude to us, but it's another thing altogether to be rude to someone who hasn't intended to hurt us. 2
Author guy45 Posted July 12, 2017 Author Posted July 12, 2017 And if she was quiet because she was shy or due to a social skill issue, how would you feel about hurting her by being so rude? It's one thing to be short to someone who is rude to us, but it's another thing altogether to be rude to someone who hasn't intended to hurt us. Your right, then I'll just pretend I forgot my wallet so I don't have to buy her dinner or coffee.
basil67 Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Your right, then I'll just pretend I forgot my wallet so I don't have to buy her dinner or coffee. *head desk* 4
SammySammy Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Your right, then I'll just pretend I forgot my wallet so I don't have to buy her dinner or coffee. I thought paying for food wasn't an issue. Just a $7-8 sushi roll and coffee, right? Are you just looking for something to complain about? 5
joseb Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Actually it's excellent advice. I kiss (or try) on every first date unless they are running away (or I'm not attracted to them). To my surprise I've had about a 95% success rate. At least half of those were a complete shock with the reciprocity. As in, if I went by their body language I would not have tried at all and they pretty much assaulted me lol. Kissing a girl on a date shows you are a confident man who goes for what he wants and girls respect it. Moreover, it's a shortcut to knowing how she feels about you. I'm inclined to agree. And that, despite the fact my success rate is much lower than that (50-50 or a bit better). But I'm also surprised at the ones that reciprocate and the ones that don't. It's a good shortcut, definitely.
Blanco Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Your right, then I'll just pretend I forgot my wallet so I don't have to buy her dinner or coffee. Are you this charming in person? 4
thefooloftheyear Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 This never actually happened to me, but if it did, I am the type that would probably flat out say something like : "hey, no offense, but this isn't working at all, I think I am gonna take off"...Id then ask the server to tally where we are at that point, pay them, shake her hand,. and head out... All that awkwardness would drive me nuts and I am not phony enough to just fake it.. Like I said, its a moot point for me, but I don't think id just sit through that....For what reason?? TFY 6
Author guy45 Posted July 12, 2017 Author Posted July 12, 2017 This never actually happened to me, but if it did, I am the type that would probably flat out say something like : "hey, no offense, but this isn't working at all, I think I am gonna take off"...Id then ask the server to tally where we are at that point, pay them, shake her hand,. and head out... All that awkwardness would drive me nuts and I am not phony enough to just fake it.. Like I said, its a moot point for me, but I don't think id just sit through that....For what reason?? TFY Yes exactly! Just so your not rude? Who cares, why should you have to suffer to make the other person feel better? Women get 12345 dates anyways
Author guy45 Posted July 12, 2017 Author Posted July 12, 2017 Are you this charming in person? Most of the time yes why do you ask?
basil67 Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Yes exactly! Just so your not rude? Who cares, why should you have to suffer to make the other person feel better? Women get 12345 dates anyways But TFY's exit wasn't rude. And I'm sure he wouldn't 'lose' his wallet to avoid paying his share. You shouldn't "suffer" to make another person to feel better. If their conversation really is so poor, then by all means call an end to it and leave. But don't make a person who is possibly struggling feel even worse just because you can't be bothered with decent enough manners to end the date in a respectful way. 5
thefooloftheyear Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 But TFY's exit wasn't rude. And I'm sure he wouldn't 'lose' his wallet to avoid paying his share. You shouldn't "suffer" to make another person to feel better. If their conversation really is so poor, then by all means call an end to it and leave. But don't make a person who is possibly struggling feel even worse just because you can't be bothered with decent enough manners to end the date in a respectful way. Right,,, And just to clarify, I wouldn't just leave her there by herself at the table, Id ask her if she was ok and if there was anything I could do for her before I left(walk her to her car, etc)... Using a bogus excuse or just excusing myself and heading out through the kitchen door, would be completely unacceptable... It's fine to end it early, IMO...but do it with dignity and respect... TFY 6
basil67 Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 Right,,, And just to clarify, I wouldn't just leave her there by herself at the table, Id ask her if she was ok and if there was anything I could do for her before I left(walk her to her car, etc)... Using a bogus excuse or just excusing myself and heading out through the kitchen door, would be completely unacceptable... It's fine to end it early, IMO...but do it with dignity and respect... TFY Exactly..... 2
William Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 That'll cover the sarcastic and personalized remarks, so let's get back to the why's of going, or not going, out on a date with someone one doesn't like. 1
Author guy45 Posted July 13, 2017 Author Posted July 13, 2017 I think most of you don't realize the humor in some of my posts...and take them literally...
basil67 Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 I think most of you don't realize the humor in some of my posts...and take them literally... Humour frequently doesn't translate over text. Some emotions or mentioning that you're joking is of much assistance if you want to get your message across. 1
Popsicle Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 (edited) Long story short I went on a date with a woman I met on okcupid. Can't really say from our conversations online that she sounded excited or anything more just neutral. When we met in person she had trouble making eye contact with me and was very serious and quiet. It was fairly obvious she didn't like me. I don't get it though. I put up a clear picture of who I am and how tall I am as well as what I do online. She even visited my profile twice. So why did she even bother going out with me if she didn't like me? I hope you realize that there are a lot of socially awkward people online. They thrive online and gravitate there. She could be one of those. You can't tell from pictures nor from writing to each other. You don't discover it until you are face to face with the person. Which is why you should do that ASAP. She also just could be a dry and boring person. Or, she could be burned out on OLD or the opposite gender. People who are burned out or bitter aren't so nice or fun to be around. Also, be sure that you have put up pictures of yourself that truly represent yourself. No old or dimly lit photos. And please be honest about your stats/attributes in your profile. Don't hide anything and surprise the woman on the date. Edited July 13, 2017 by Popsicle 1
TheWoman Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 Trouble making eye contact indicates to me that she has serious social anxiety or she is possibly on the autism spectrum. Dating must be so hard if you fall into one of those categories. Kindness and empathy will take you a long way in life. 2
Chilli Posted July 13, 2017 Posted July 13, 2017 Pretty simple l think. As soon as she met you in person there was just nothing there for her. lt can be like that when you actually meet somebody. 2
goldenlotus Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 I'm surprised people suggest kissing regardless if the girl is into them or not. I really think that's a bad idea. First of all, women are socialized to be nice. She could be kissing you back and want to vomit because she isn't into you but doesn't want you to feel bad. She could accept the kiss but not really reciprocate because she likes you but is uncomfortable kissing someone she just met. She could feel absolutely nothing about you whatsoever but reciprocate because F yeah KISSING. I don't think it tells you that much about someone's interest. Her body language will tell you, and if it's saying she's not that interested, for goodness sake a kiss isn't going to change that.
Usename12 Posted July 14, 2017 Posted July 14, 2017 I think the lesson is if you have literally never met the person and only know them from texting and writing, plan for an open ended but potentially short date. Afternoon drinks and if goes well, maybe get a bite to eat. Or drinks later in the evening which could be quick or long. Anything but dinner where you're both potentially trapped until you order, wait for the food, eat, and wait for the check, pay, wait for the valet, and on and on. If you have met the person before the first date, then you already know if you have at least some chemistry and dinner is okay.
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