daisyzee Posted July 11, 2017 Posted July 11, 2017 My ex actually got my attention this time many times he's tried hitting me up but I mostly never reply. I know many of y'all will ask why he hasn't been blocked and honestly i don't know why i just don't feel like i should because it's not like i hate him anymore and plus i'll see him at school anyway. Well last night he texted me on snapchat saying hey with the eyes emoji so i felt the need to ask "why the eye emoji" then he replied "i have my reasons" then i was just like "oh" he went on asking if i was still going to the same school because he was looking forward to seeing me asked if i had a boo and i was on lockdown then told me if when i got back from chicago to georgia we could hang out and go to the movies or something. I agreed and i'm not sure if i did right i'm not sure why i agreed i guess since it's been so long everything else is in the past and this is like a new start as friends maybe a little more but not to date regardless i would never date him again so i just don't know what i'm doing.
Zahara Posted July 11, 2017 Posted July 11, 2017 You don't need to ask if you are doing the wrong thing -- you know you are. You've been in a pattern of keeping in contact with your ex that cheated on you. In your thread a couple of weeks ago, you noted he is now in a relationship with someone new. Why are you entertaining him? It didn't cross your mind that what he did to you he may be trying to do to her -- cheat? Likely hoping he can get something from you. And no, it's not a friendship. Where is your self-respect? You may not hate him now anymore eventhough he treated you poorly, but that does not justify being, staying and maintaining contact with him. You've taught him that you have no boundaries or self-respect and that is why he keeps circling back to you. He knows you are easy prey. He is not your friend. The definition of a friend does not entail being disloyal and untrustworthy. Go out there and make new friends, legitimate ones and those that don't have agendas that are self-serving.
Author daisyzee Posted July 11, 2017 Author Posted July 11, 2017 I forgot to mention he's not with her anymore I wouldn't be talking to him if he was still with her
Zahara Posted July 11, 2017 Posted July 11, 2017 (edited) I forgot to mention he's not with her anymore I wouldn't be talking to him if he was still with her It's not the only reason you shouldn't be talking to him! Go back and read your other threads as a reminder. So he has recently ended with her and now he is circling back to you. He's likely looking for attention and sex and he knows you're an easy target. You're an available prospect. The guy cheated on you. You know what he's thinking -- "Wow, I cheated on her and she's still so nice to me and even wanting to hang out and watch a movie with me! I have her in the palm of my hands." He likely feels a huge ego boost from you. What sort of message have you relayed to him and what lesson has he learned from you? That even when he treats you poorly, you're still available and wanting to entertain him. Establish healthy and strong boundaries for yourself. Maintain your self-respect. Create a better circle of friends. Seek and aim higher for yourself. You are young so don't start creating a negative path for yourself. Edited July 11, 2017 by Zahara 1
Author daisyzee Posted July 11, 2017 Author Posted July 11, 2017 You're right you are but it's not like i'm gonna have sex with him i never have i'm not that easy to have sex with him just like that and i just feel like but isn't that like holding a grudge why hold a grudge and act like it still bothers me after over a year.
Zahara Posted July 11, 2017 Posted July 11, 2017 You're right you are but it's not like i'm gonna have sex with him i never have i'm not that easy to have sex with him just like that and i just feel like but isn't that like holding a grudge why hold a grudge and act like it still bothers me after over a year. It has nothing to do with grudges. It's about maintaining your self-respect and implementing healthy boundaries for yourself. No one is telling you to hold a grudge. If you have forgiven him and moved on from his indiscretion, then that's great but that does not justify being friends with someone that has treated you poorly. Just because you do not have a grudge anymore, it does not mean you should be hanging out and watching movies together. It's called boundaries. You have none. You likely chose not to block him and keep an open door because there's likely a part of you that is still emotionally affected by him. And I believe that you choosing to entertain him now is likely due to your current unresolved feelings for him. If you truly have forgiven him and have no ill feelings towards him, you can be cordial and civil to him keeping your interaction to a minimum.
Zahara Posted July 11, 2017 Posted July 11, 2017 To add: Go back and read your threads about him and focus on the unhealthy cycle you both have established. It's time to break it.
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