I want to move on

[joemesina]

Hello all,me and my ex gf have been broken now for about 8 months of a 7 year relation, we have been on and off talking, and have gone out a few times, the last time we cooked together and drank wine, nothing happened she says she doesn't have romantic feelings for me anymore. Unfortunately I have fallen for some bread crumbs she gave me, like contacting me out of the blue when I was doing no contact, and fallen right into her trap and asked her out, because I still miss her and love her and want her back.

 

Now for the last time, I am hopefully starting no contact again, but this time to heal my wounds and move on. She has transformed from a kind, cute and loving person to a new person that has no feelings, very cold, emotionally unavailable and she hates her dad, she is 25, she still lives with her mother who has gone travelling for a few months. My ex goes clubbing and partying nearly every weekend with her single girlfriends,fridays and saturdays sometimes.

 

Last friday my brother saw her in a party with a guy,(I was supposed to go also, but I didn't go), whom now she is seeing although they are not in a relation for the moment.

 

On saturday while she was at a club I made the mistake of texting her because I felt sad and frustrated, I said her some harsh words, but everything I said was true, and she got pissed and we argued by text and I felt bad, later in the night I called her to say im sorry and to tell her that I want to move on and and to never call or text her again, also to tell her to do the same, and because I insisted on knowing she told me that she had hooked up recently with another guy she met on summer(we are in winter now) this was not the guy who she is seeing.

 

After all this I feel now completely more heart broken, that was expected , but I know she isn't worth my suffering because this new person who my ex is and acts like a skank bitch is completely empty, I think knowing all this is necessary to finally move on, because I did want her back and still want her back, and the few times we went out I got false hopes and I was played, she just wanted to be friends, I think now this is definitive.

 

In a week she will be travelling to Europe for 25 days with her cousins, I have also deleted and blocked her from every social media, because I don't want to see anything from her, because I know she will get wild and it could cause me a lot of pain.

 

I really want to move on this time, I want to recover my happiness, I want to meet new girls.

 

What can I do if I see her in a party or in a club with some guy in the future, the feelings for her hasn't gone away, we have alot of friends in common, we are in the same social circle and there are lot of chances in seeing her in a club or in a party it has happened a few times a couple of month ago,and will happen again, what can I do if she contacts me again, and to not fall in her trap.

 

thanks

[Maldives]

Unfortunately and I say it is unfortunate I can relate to u dude . Ur mrs sounds like my ex. Very similar cold. It's been 9 mths in my case since we broke up but wat has made it hard for me is we work together. In ur case u can change ur social scene for me its not so simple. I would highly recommend u dont mix in the same circles as her and avoid her. If that means going out to some new places wth ur group and organising that then do it.

 

All that is gonna happen and I can attest to this is open ur wounds and set ur healing back.

 

Only yesterday which just happened to be my birthday I found out she's off on holidays for a few weeks and so this younger guy it just kilied me learning that. I could hardly sleep and woke up the next day wth a massive headache all day.

For mths i was forced to watch her and her bf she started seeing at work develop till a blessing from God must ofor occurred and he left and resigned and went to live and work overseas.

I thoughthink my troubles were clear how wrong I was. She latches onto anyone . She ahas a very deep void long story she's a mum and has left all her kids to put herself first up here in this holiday location where she intitI ally moved to be wth me but dumped me aftrr she lost her son in a custody battle.

None of my ex's have been as cold or cruel as her she changed completly mostly I feel rebelling for losing her kids and kinda blaming and trying to hurt me and make me jealous. The **** she's put me thru this yr is just aweful.

If I cld avoid it and be in a position such as u believe me I would avoid avoid avoid. As soon as u see her having a good time ur gonna get hurt I know I get this a few times a week. It's at the point where I've had to see a psychologist to help wth coping u know wat her advice was to me? Find another job which is not really fair it wss me that was there 1st she came up and just really hurt and continues to try and sabotage my dream .

 

Please listen and heed my advice wen I say don't go where ur gonna see her likeep me ur not healed nor indifferent to her as soon as u see her having a good time its gonna kill u

[ExpatInItaly]

If you see her, you turn around and walk in the other direction. That's it. Don't try to talk to her, don't create any drama, and don't go texting her after.

 

You also need to block her. Don't give her access to you.

 

I know it's very hard. But if you ever want to really move on, the above is necessary.

[joemesina]

Thanks for the comments, I will try to avoid her at any cost, I am stopping all contact with her and also I have blocked her from social media, mostly instagram that she uses it a lot to post stories about her social events or any stupid stuff.

 

This time I must be strong and stop falling for her bread crumbs, and I know that sometime in the future she will reach again, I must be ready, I have lost 8 month of my life chasing her and now finally I know she isn't worth it.

 

Hopefully this month there wont be any chances of seeing her because she is going away for 25 days.

 

But I know I will see her in the future and must be ready for it, because it could be painful seeing her with another guy.

 

I am ready to move on and recover my happiness, but it will be tough.

 

Any other stories or tips will help alot, thanks