jgraham11 Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 So this girl I've been talking to OKC caught my eye awhile back. We chatted for a day or two and then I finally just asked her out for coffee. Now there's two problems to this whole thing 1. I asked her and she almost immediately said "Yeah absolutely!".. so that's great right? Well, maybe, maybe not cause I haven't heard from her since I messaged my number to her. I just said if you'd rather talk through text we can do that. So not sure if that maybe threw her off or something? 2. I've done this before and I think it's because I think my name is in my profile (like facebook and IG) but I forgot to mention my first name. My last name is in my profile, but not my first. So that's embarrassing to say the least lol. However, that didn't stop her from saying Yes to the date proposal though. If you even wanna call getting coffee a "date" Main problem is just how quiet it's been since she said yes. Not sure what to make of that. How long should I give her before maybe saying something?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 I'm not following. What does your last name have to do with it? Are you from a notorious crime family? 4
Author jgraham11 Posted July 10, 2017 Author Posted July 10, 2017 No, just saying I forgot to tell her my first name in the early stages of our conversation. I'm so use to having both my first and last name on my social networking profiles that I didn't even mention it to her. However, on my OKC profile it's just my last name. Maybe that's not a big deal me forgetting to mention it, but I felt embarrassed about it so And no I don't have any ties to organized crime.. that I know of..
kendahke Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 I'd call her and set the date up over the phone. If she answers and goes along, great--hopefully she won't flake and will show up. If she doesn't answer, then I'd block her and move on. She's really not interested: otherwise, she'd make that plain. How old is she? 1
clia Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 It sounds like you asked her out for coffee, she said "Yes, absolutely," and then you messaged her your phone number? That seems really strange. Were you expecting her to call you to plan it? Either call or text her with a suggested day, time, and place. 5
Author jgraham11 Posted July 10, 2017 Author Posted July 10, 2017 Well we had been talking on OKC, but I wanted to take it to text messaging, so I just sent her my number to shoot me a text. Probably should have just either asked for hers on OKC or just set it up on OKC I regret that, but what's done is done with that I guess 1
smackie9 Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 Some people are not always eager to share cel numbers.....But that doesn't really make any difference. You are not the only one she is chatting with and maybe her other date went pretty well and she ghosted on you.
Author jgraham11 Posted July 10, 2017 Author Posted July 10, 2017 Yeah that's why I sent mine instead of asking. I just got the sense asking for hers without giving mine wouldn't have gone well I doubt it's the second part of your comment though. Not because I'm being naive or wishful but that would mean she went on a date between 11pm Sunday night and Monday morning and had a great time on that date, unlikely Sure she could/probably is talking to other guys though
spiderowl Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 It could be she just said yes to be polite but wasn't actually going to follow through. I think it is always best to ask permission for something like phone number exchange or for any different steps towards dating. Something like "is it ok if I give you a call?", that kind of thing. I always find if a guy sends me his number out of the blue, it throws me a bit. I think well, hang on a minute, he didn't ask. Then I feel he wants me to do all the chasing. Asking permission at each point gets you to the same place (date) but shows respect. Having said all the above, it could be she just wasn't very interested. Sorry.
Author jgraham11 Posted July 10, 2017 Author Posted July 10, 2017 That kills me though hahah I mean maybe you're right, but for someone to do that is strange. 1. If you're not interested in the person, why even respond to the initial message? Or why keep the conversation going? 2. Then if you aren't interested and you kept the convo going (for whatever reason) you agree to a date. That just seems like such a weak move by someone to do And i'm not saying you're wrong. For all I know you could be right, but I hear stories of people doing this (mostly women) and it bothers me. Don't waste other peoples time and have some decency/courage
phineas Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 The man asks the woman for the number. unless the woman offers it up before the man has a chance to ask. When the woman asks for my number and won't give hers I stop talking to them because they just are not interested.
Popsicle Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 Zero dark thirty means an unspecified time in the early morning hours before dawn. 1
Author jgraham11 Posted July 11, 2017 Author Posted July 11, 2017 Yeah but it also means going silent, or going silent from social media. Lebron James is famous for it. He always goes "Zero Dark Thirty" when the playoffs come around and he deletes his social media pages It of course has a military meaning too, which is where it came from. I was referring to the silence I was getting from this girl Which by the way has been resolved in a positive for me!
Imajerk17 Posted July 11, 2017 Posted July 11, 2017 (edited) You are the guy OP, you are expected to lead. The way you handled it instead was rather convoluted . You asked her out, she said yes, and then instead of setting up the date then and there (place day and time) you sent her your number. What was she supposed to do with it--text you to set up the date YOU asked HER to? Again it is on you to lead! What you should have done was set up the date then and there--place day and time--right after she said yes. And then exchange numbers (see below). Much simpler much less convoluted fewer steps! All is not lost. Engage her in chat and when you get her set up the date then and there. And exchange numbers "Let's exchange numbers mine is..." Edited July 11, 2017 by Imajerk17 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 11, 2017 Posted July 11, 2017 Yeah but it also means going silent, or going silent from social media. Lebron James is famous for it. He always goes "Zero Dark Thirty" when the playoffs come around and he deletes his social media pages It of course has a military meaning too, which is where it came from. I was referring to the silence I was getting from this girl Which by the way has been resolved in a positive for me! Wait, how so? Hopefully good because you seem like a nice, normal guy
guest569 Posted July 11, 2017 Posted July 11, 2017 You definitely should have just proposed a date and time. You asked her out. Then expect her to do all the work. 2
Author jgraham11 Posted July 11, 2017 Author Posted July 11, 2017 @cautiouslyoptimistic She ended up texting me and then I just asked her what days work best for her. So we have something kind of set up for Saturday. She apparently works everyday (which is kind of hard to believe) so it's 50/50. She left off with a "Yeah, possibly" not the greatest response, but it's a response at least And to the others saying my steps were wrong in this whole process, I know. I should have probably asked for her number first and then set it all up. Or at least just set it up on OKC and then asked for her number once it was all set up Now the inevitable question comes of "Should I text her at all before Saturday?" lol ..outside of just solidifying the plan
Sara1989 Posted July 11, 2017 Posted July 11, 2017 @cautiouslyoptimistic She ended up texting me and then I just asked her what days work best for her. So we have something kind of set up for Saturday. She apparently works everyday (which is kind of hard to believe) so it's 50/50. She left off with a "Yeah, possibly" not the greatest response, but it's a response at least And to the others saying my steps were wrong in this whole process, I know. I should have probably asked for her number first and then set it all up. Or at least just set it up on OKC and then asked for her number once it was all set up Now the inevitable question comes of "Should I text her at all before Saturday?" lol ..outside of just solidifying the plan Eurgh yes of course you should be keeping in contact before the date, especially if she is not 100% sure about meeting you.
Author jgraham11 Posted July 11, 2017 Author Posted July 11, 2017 Eurgh yes of course you should be keeping in contact before the date, especially if she is not 100% sure about meeting you. Yeah but I'm not 100% sure she isn't sure about me. She did say how she worked 13 hours today and works 6-7 days a week. So the way I took it about her saying "Yeah, possibly" is she just isn't sure with work and maybe even her energy at the time Plus, I don't wanna "sell" myself at this point. That's what the date is kind of for anyway. I mean i'll text her I guess, but it'll just be small talk about how her day is or whatever. Not texting her to tell her all my pros and positives
TheFinalWord Posted July 11, 2017 Posted July 11, 2017 So this girl I've been talking to OKC caught my eye awhile back. We chatted for a day or two and then I finally just asked her out for coffee. Now there's two problems to this whole thing 1. I asked her and she almost immediately said "Yeah absolutely!".. so that's great right? Well, maybe, maybe not cause I haven't heard from her since I messaged my number to her. I just said if you'd rather talk through text we can do that. So not sure if that maybe threw her off or something? 2. I've done this before and I think it's because I think my name is in my profile (like facebook and IG) but I forgot to mention my first name. My last name is in my profile, but not my first. So that's embarrassing to say the least lol. However, that didn't stop her from saying Yes to the date proposal though. If you even wanna call getting coffee a "date" Main problem is just how quiet it's been since she said yes. Not sure what to make of that. How long should I give her before maybe saying something? Probably doesn't want to give her number out so early when you haven't met yet. In some ways, it may be better as may be tempted to text her a bunch before meeting. I would just write again "how about Starbucks at the corner of such and such at 11:00"...don't resend your number.
TheFinalWord Posted July 11, 2017 Posted July 11, 2017 Yeah but I'm not 100% sure she isn't sure about me. She did say how she worked 13 hours today and works 6-7 days a week. So the way I took it about her saying "Yeah, possibly" is she just isn't sure with work and maybe even her energy at the time Plus, I don't wanna "sell" myself at this point. That's what the date is kind of for anyway. I mean i'll text her I guess, but it'll just be small talk about how her day is or whatever. Not texting her to tell her all my pros and positives Well if you think she is unsure, I would write one time with a detailed plan including a proposed date, time, and location and leave it at that. If you don't hear back, move on. If you do, great! 1
Author jgraham11 Posted July 11, 2017 Author Posted July 11, 2017 Well if you think she is unsure, I would write one time with a detailed plan including a proposed date, time, and location and leave it at that. If you don't hear back, move on. If you do, great! Yeah that's exactly what I was thinking. Maybe just messaging her in a day or two, saying hi how's it going, then followed up with a place/time and see what happens
TheFinalWord Posted July 11, 2017 Posted July 11, 2017 Yeah that's exactly what I was thinking. Maybe just messaging her in a day or two, saying hi how's it going, then followed up with a place/time and see what happens Edit: just saw this: She left off with a "Yeah, possibly" not the greatest response, but it's a response at least I would say "well why don't you contact me when you know you can meet" and leave it at that. I personally wouldn't waste my time with that kind of meh response. She must be super attractive lol
guest569 Posted July 11, 2017 Posted July 11, 2017 Probably doesn't want to give her number out so early when you haven't met yet. In some ways, it may be better as may be tempted to text her a bunch before meeting. I would just write again "how about Starbucks at the corner of such and such at 11:00"...don't resend your number. Yes, set a time and place. Again, you are making her do the work. "What days are you free..." wishy washy. Name a day and time and place. If she is busy, she should come back with an alternative. So for Saturday, name a time and place and see what happens. As for phone numbers and texting, i dont get it. You're already texting on OK cupid. If the date happens and goes well, exchange numbers then. 2
Author jgraham11 Posted July 11, 2017 Author Posted July 11, 2017 Edit: just saw this: She left off with a "Yeah, possibly" not the greatest response, but it's a response at least I would say "well why don't you contact me when you know you can meet" and leave it at that. I personally wouldn't waste my time with that kind of meh response. She must be super attractive lol I kind of did I said I'd message her later in the week. I mean she's said yes to a date twice now, albeit the second time a little lackluster. She mentioned her crazy work hours though, so I'm not really gonna hold that against her too much. If she backs out between now and Saturday or worse were to flake then well. I can chalk that one up as a learning experience. I just plan on messaging her in a day or two and saying. How's Saturday at X time and X place If that doesn't work then oh well... and Yes.. she is very attractive. The kind of attractive that makes you wonder why they'd need OLD
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