How young is too young?

[Olivi]

I'm 23, guy I'm interested in is 37. We've been on a couple of dates and the physical attraction is there but emotional connection? Not really, at least not yet. Not sure if he's holding back because he thinks I'm too young for him to date seriously or what, but it's driving me crazy because I want to sleep with him really bad but not without the emotional connection first.

 

So anyways, I'm curious, how young is too young for you guys to 1) sleep with and 2) consider dating seriously without fear of your friends/family judging you?

[Arieswoman]

olivi,

 

So anyways, I'm curious, how young is too young for you guys to 1) sleep with and 2) consider dating seriously without fear of your friends/family judging you?

 

If you have to ask a bunch of strangers on the internet about the above, maybe you shouldn't be going down that road?

 

It depends really on what you want. If it's just dating/fling etc then it doesn't matter. If you are considering a l/t relationship with a guy 14 years older than you, then what your family thinks is the least of your future problems

[Shanex]

Technically a 18 year old would be legal for someone like me twice the age, but as you said, the emotional connection might not be there, shared values and being in very different stage of life.

[mikeylo]

If you want to date or have a relationship with someone then have it with pride and confidence without any worries of judgement.

 

From my personal pov, at 23, he is quite a bit older for you to connect emotionally with him.

[Olivi]

olivi,

 

 

 

If you have to ask a bunch of strangers on the internet about the above, maybe you shouldn't be going down that road?

 

It depends really on what you want. If it's just dating/fling etc then it doesn't matter. If you are considering a l/t relationship with a guy 14 years older than you, then what your family thinks is the least of your future problems

 

Hi Aries,

 

I'm not really asking you guys whether or not I should pursue this man, it's more that I'm curious as to what other men's preference are when it comes to dating a younger woman.

[Olivi]

Technically a 18 year old would be legal for someone like me twice the age, but as you said, the emotional connection might not be there, shared values and being in very different stage of life.

 

Lol I knew someone was going to say this! Yes 18 is legal.. but would you even get involved with a girl you found out is only 18?

[Shanex]

Lol I knew someone was going to say this! Yes 18 is legal.. but would you even get involved with a girl you found out is only 18?

 

If you want an honest answer, probably not. I do find women in their early 20s gorgeous, but we have few in common, so beside a hookup I wouldn't expect anything long-term.

[CptInsano]

I once got to know somebody online who turned out to be 17 younger than I. We had a lot in common, but sometimes you feel like you grew up in different worlds. I also didn't want to hold her back when she still needed to explore life. I would have felt guilty trying to deny her the same freedom that I experienced as a young person.

 

So no, maybe 3 years younger is what I would look for.

[thefooloftheyear]

If you had to ask, then it's probably not happening for you organically....Prob not a good move at this point in your life..

 

TFY

[somanymistakes]

Not a guy, but - I would feel very weird getting involved with someone more than five years apart from me in age. Not because it's morally wrong, really (although if you get down to literally half my age, at that point I would feel really skeevy even if it were legal!) but because I think it would be harder to make and keep a connection.

 

People your own age, you share a lot with even if you don't think about it, you usually grew up in similar environments in terms of politics and pop culture and technology, you understand each other better.

 

Also, people of very different ages are often at really different points in their lives. Someone 38's feelings about career and marriage and kids are, on average, very different from someone 23's.

 

It's possible that on dates you keep dropping little references to things that keep reminding him how different your lives are and that this is making it difficult to form that emotional connection.

 

It's not impossible, though. I mean, if you date someone from another country there's also a huge gap there in terms of what your backgrounds were like, but it can be overcome if you're both interested in each other and have at least some things in common. Same thing for an age gap really, I think.

[dumbass2]

One of my friends told me a while back about the half your age plus 7 rule. So if he's 36 than 25 would be okay for him to date. I'm 50 now so I was okay with this rule of thumb when I found out I could date a 32 year old. Yeah right, like that's gonna happen lol.

[SammySammy]

I was was with a woman around 12 years younger than me for 5 years. I believe I met her when I was 33, making her 21. Was with another woman about 12 years younger than me for a shorter period of time.

 

What's too young depends on the couple. If if works for you two, then what we think doesn't matter.

 

If a couple decides it can work for them, I don't think there is a number that will automatically determine the relationship will fail. All relationships end. We just have to enjoy and appreciate the time we have. Do that and the relationship is a success as far as I'm concerned.

[carhill]

TBH, when I dated younger ladies I never really thought about age. Another thing I've noticed, closing in on 60, is that, other than aches and pains once in awhile, I don't really think about my own age. Like my mom used to say in her 70's - 'I feel young until looking in the mirror and noting the image has changed'

 

At 23, all this is ahead of you and the guy you're dating is there. IMO, keep showing up if you want to. See where it goes.

[elaine567]

I'm 23, guy I'm interested in is 37. We've been on a couple of dates and the physical attraction is there but emotional connection? Not really, at least not yet. Not sure if he's holding back because he thinks I'm too young for him to date seriously or what, but it's driving me crazy because I want to sleep with him really bad but not without the emotional connection first.

 

So anyways, I'm curious, how young is too young for you guys to 1) sleep with and 2) consider dating seriously without fear of your friends/family judging you?

 

The lack of emotional connection may be nothing to do with the age gap.

What is his dating/relationship history?

[knabe]

Numbers, to me, are less important than stage in life. For example, a 23 year old who has graduated and been in the work force a year or two dating a 37 year old who has been a long-term student...no biggie. A 37 year old who has been in the work force since high school, whose divorced with 2 kids, dating a 23 year old who's still in undergrad and spending every Wednesday night at chapter meetings? Maybe not so much in common.

 

Do what works for the two of you.

[Olivi]

The lack of emotional connection may be nothing to do with the age gap.

What is his dating/relationship history?

 

 

Honestly, we haven't talk about our dating history yet. All I really know at this point is that he has never been married, and no kids. He didn't tell me this part but I found out that he sort of "date around" a lot. I don't know if he dates multiple women at the same time, only that he has dated a whole lot of women in his past.

 

I noticed he bring up his age a lot when we are together, like "oh I gotta watch what I eat because I'm older now", "can't be doing things I used to do when I was younger, gotta watch my back", etc. I don't know if that's something, but I feel like he's trying to remind me of our age gap and see if it bothers me? Also when we first started seeing each other, he was hesitant to tell me his age. He was always vague, just saying that he's in his 30's.

 

Don't know if I'm going through a phase or what but for the past year I'm just so not attracted to guys my age. I can find them attractive, but the moment they ask me out or hint that they're interested in me, I just get so turned off. Last year a I had a HUGE crush on a coach from my fitness class. He's in his 50's, but extremely in shape, super outgoing and charming. That was when I start finding myself attracted to guys in their 30's and up.

[elaine567]

Honestly, we haven't talk about our dating history yet. All I really know at this point is that he has never been married, and no kids. He didn't tell me this part but I found out that he sort of "date around" a lot. I don't know if he dates multiple women at the same time, only that he has dated a whole lot of women in his past.

 

Sounds like he is probably not really "relationship" material. He may be just a "player" with little real depth to him.

If you are looking for some short lived fun, then he may be OK, but even then you would want to feel you are both somewhat on the same wavelength, else it isn't really "fun" at all.

[avvril3000]

I am 38 and I dated a 20 year old girl last year for a while. She had to go away for school, so it was basically just a summer romance, but her and I both agreed that if it wasn't for her school, we would have stayed dating. I can't speak for others, but I don't care what family thinks, and as a guy, most of my friends would just consider it a bonus for me if my GF were much younger.

 

I dont get the age thing with men. Its like the younger they can date, is like a score for them. But there are plenty of HOT HOT HOT women in their older (not saying OLD... oldER) ages that are waaaay, by far, by far, way hotter than someone who is almost a teenager, doesnt know who they are, in weird growing stages, etc. Teenagers are awkward. Why is having someone who is a spring chicken hot?

[avvril3000]

I'm 23, guy I'm interested in is 37. We've been on a couple of dates and the physical attraction is there but emotional connection? Not really, at least not yet. Not sure if he's holding back because he thinks I'm too young for him to date seriously or what, but it's driving me crazy because I want to sleep with him really bad but not without the emotional connection first.

 

So anyways, I'm curious, how young is too young for you guys to 1) sleep with and 2) consider dating seriously without fear of your friends/family judging you?

 

So theres 14 years difference. I am 32 and my bf is 46. Same difference, pretty much. We get along like a house on fire and i know we are the one for eachother. But we are older. I have 10 years on you, i know who i am, ive gone through a lot of adult experiences, ive learnt, hurt, grown and changed in the last 10 years. If i met my bf at 23, i'm not sure we would be on the same level of maturity and emotional connection. you're 23. I wouldnt say its a stage of life to get serious. Its important that you keep your options open at this stage, explore, grow, learn about different kinds of relationships and different kinds of men and what works and what doesnt.

[Springsummer]

From the OLD profiles I saw, it seems the younger the better for men, as long as it's legal.

 

one 40 years old man states the lowest range is 18...

 

I should have known better...who does he think he is? 18? keep dreaming...