RastaKo Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 Hey All Need an advice. I've been recently out from the 4 year relationship and am having some problem with dating. I went out with this girl, we had a great date. Couple of days after i set up a second date, i offered her one idea, she suggested another, and we agreed both. I texted her the night before, she didnt reply, and replied in the morning. I called her and she said that she might need to go out of town and will let me know in an hour, if we will have to cancel the date. AFter hour or so she texted me I am very sorry i cant make it. I replied "no problem, next time". and tgat was it. The problem i have is that she aint sms\online person much as me. I can't understand from her if she is into me or not. First date was great. no kiss though but we had fun. other - before the first date once i asked her to find something out for me, she forgot but after texted me herself saying that she forgot and bla bla. she was being nice and figured out what i asked. So me dilemma is, what should i do , should i wait for her to contact me back first or contact her first again before the next weekend and schedule a second second date? (before weekend i am just very busy) Thanks in advance
Ami1uwant Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 Dont wait for her, but dont dismiss her either. There could be a legit reason she is cancelling because something personal has come up. Its very common that people have a good first date or what is perceived as one and nothing happens. remember dont assume you are the only one she is dating. She could be dating other people and you arent #1 in her eyes. 1
Author RastaKo Posted July 10, 2017 Author Posted July 10, 2017 Dont wait for her, but dont dismiss her either. There could be a legit reason she is cancelling because something personal has come up. Its very common that people have a good first date or what is perceived as one and nothing happens. remember dont assume you are the only one she is dating. She could be dating other people and you arent #1 in her eyes. I understand, but the fact is i can't understand her cuz she act strangely. Maybe i think so because she is not an online person as much as i am and that is what confuses me. She usually never writes first due to not being an online person much. Date was great, we had nice conversation and we both enjoyed it time. I just think if i don't text her, can it be a good test for her to write me first or not? p.s. as mentioned above we were talking once online, and she said she will find something out for me, about some topic. two days after she wrote first that sorry i forgot to let you know about it bla bla, so she wrote me first, taht was the only time i think. Question is, how do i get back to her?
Gaeta Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 If this woman was interested in seeing you again she would have offered to see you upon her return in town. Things are the same online and off line. When you like someone and you want to get to see them again you show it. My feeling is she had a good time meeting you but there is probably someone else in the picture, a new contact or an ex still trying to get to her. Do not contact her. Continue searching and if she gets back to you take it from there. 4
smackie9 Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 (edited) A good date doesn't always = interest. "Nice guy, but not right for me" Women don't come out and say NO not interested. They hate the confrontation/backlash that happens afterwards...and trust me it happens. Send her a text that you would like to take her out again when she gets back, and to contact you. Leave it and date other women. Edited July 10, 2017 by smackie9 2
SevenCity Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 Yes, she's not interested. Don't do anything. If she comes back, know that you weren't her first choice. Treat her accordingly.
tetrahedral Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 Sounds like the date didn't go as well as you thought it did, brother. Curious question - what made you think it went great on her end?
Author RastaKo Posted July 10, 2017 Author Posted July 10, 2017 (edited) Sounds like the date didn't go as well as you thought it did, brother. Curious question - what made you think it went great on her end? We went to a nice place for a pizza. We had great conversations. A lot of laughs and jokes. The vibe was great. No awkward silences. After when we left the place she said that has to wake up early and i offered to go somewhere else for a dessert and she agreed right away. We spent another hour there. So the date went well. Its just about the type of a girl. She is not initiative show type. P.s. the 2nd date idea was actuly offered by her. I offered one idea, she said no lets go do this and offered an idea. So its not totally my initiative in 2nd date she cancelled Edited July 10, 2017 by RastaKo
lurker74 Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 It sounds very much like you're not the only one she's dating. Let's change the subject. In my job, I interview a lot of candidates. It always happens that at some point, I meet a candidate and think, "Wow, s/he is great...perfect fit for the job!" And then the next candidate comes in and is even a better fit. that doesn't mean the first candidate was bad...just that the next one was even better. To me, it sounds like you're the earlier candidate. But I could be wrong so try one more time before moving on and start lining up your other dates in the meantime so that you are not more invested in her than she is in you.
kendahke Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 I've been recently out from the 4 year relationship and am having some problem with dating. How recently did your 4 year relationship end? If you know she's not an online person, then you have to pick up a phone and call her and talk to her instead of relying on texting. Instead of cursing the darkness, light a candle.
moneyspillsa Posted July 11, 2017 Posted July 11, 2017 I will give you my candid advice her; don't act needy or desperate. From the look of things it seems she sense desperation in you. I suggest you don't call her for now until 2 weeks time
Author RastaKo Posted July 11, 2017 Author Posted July 11, 2017 (edited) How recently did your 4 year relationship end? If you know she's not an online person, then you have to pick up a phone and call her and talk to her instead of relying on texting. Instead of cursing the darkness, light a candle. Around 6 months ago. I will give you my candid advice her; don't act needy or desperate. From the look of things it seems she sense desperation in you. I suggest you don't call her for now until 2 weeks time Maybe i am a bit needy and desperate in her case, but she doesnt know it I keep my cool with her, and i dont over text her, and don't contact her every day. only thing that i am confused is how to act next. P.S. Im from Europe, and girls in EU show less initiative in general(unless she is in love with you), that's why i think i will probably wait till thursday, which will be 4 days on 0 contact after date cancellation and i'll call her up on thursday. Edited July 11, 2017 by RastaKo
Author RastaKo Posted July 11, 2017 Author Posted July 11, 2017 UPDATE Randomly texted her today. Texted nonsense. "Ketchup or bbq sauce?" She replied right away with some joke and we kept texting for around 10 minutes and then i stopped at some convenient moment. I thought about arranging a date already for this weekend, but i think it will be better to do it over the phone in a day or two. Any advice? 2
alphamale Posted July 11, 2017 Posted July 11, 2017 First date was great. that's your opinion, it may not be hers
kendahke Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 UPDATE Randomly texted her today. Texted nonsense. "Ketchup or bbq sauce?" She replied right away with some joke and we kept texting for around 10 minutes and then i stopped at some convenient moment. I thought about arranging a date already for this weekend, but i think it will be better to do it over the phone in a day or two. Any advice? Make it a phone call and not a text. Talk to her to gauge her interest.
Recommended Posts