LotusAvx Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 I always go for the worst guys for me. I am a great girl, responsible and have my life together, but I always go for/get attached to guys who are wrong for me. So many times, I have dated guys who drink too much, don't have their life together or steady work. I can see that they aren't good, but no matter what, I keep going for them. Most recently, this guy that I have been seeing isn't a good guy at all..unreliable, involved in some things I do not approve of and drinks way too much. We hung out all weekend, and as we're together, I realize this isn't boyfriend material, and I can do a lot better. But when he left, I am missing him, wishing he was here and mad at myself for liking people who are clearly not good for me. I know I have to see my worth and not be involved with these kind of people. I really just don't know how to realize I can do better than this and choose more stable people to be in my life...
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 I always go for the worst guys for me. I am a great girl, responsible and have my life together, but I always go for/get attached to guys who are wrong for me. So many times, I have dated guys who drink too much, don't have their life together or steady work. I can see that they aren't good, but no matter what, I keep going for them. Most recently, this guy that I have been seeing isn't a good guy at all..unreliable, involved in some things I do not approve of and drinks way too much. We hung out all weekend, and as we're together, I realize this isn't boyfriend material, and I can do a lot better. But when he left, I am missing him, wishing he was here and mad at myself for liking people who are clearly not good for me. I know I have to see my worth and not be involved with these kind of people. I really just don't know how to realize I can do better than this and choose more stable people to be in my life... LotusAvx. Unfortunately, it's just not about being aware of your own worth. It sounds like you are. It also sounds like you are more desperate to have a relationship and therefore, more willing to accept men who do not meet your needs... it would be curious to know what you look at when reading a profile or asking questions. Do you ask probing questions that would reveal whether the guy is worth your time? 2
smackie9 Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 What you are doing wrong: Giving these blokes the benefit of a doubt. Usually after the first date you can see those issues....especially the drinking. 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 First of all, you have your shamalama-ding-dong together. Your first impressions and questions should give you insight as to whether he does too. No exceptions. 2
Arieswoman Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 LousAVX, When I was divorced and dating I met a load of bummers, I really did Some of them showed their true colours on the first date. Others took a bit longer. IMO you need to develop a better screening system. OK, so you can't ask a guy what his philosophy on life is at the first date, but you can note his behaviour and attitude. If you're using OLD then you need to ask a few questions before you meet. Make a list of what you don't want and start from there. And don't be afraid to walk out of a date if you aren't happy with the way it's going. Good luck x 2
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