JayScott9 Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 I've been on four different online dating sites (POF, OKC, Tinder, Bumble) for the last 5 years. I've had very little success with getting responses back they usually never get read or end up just getting deleted. I send typically 5-15 messages a day. These are not copy and paste, but me actually taking a few minutes to go over the woman's profile and coming up with something that is geared towards them and not just a generic response like I'm sure they receive all the time from other guys. I hired a dating couch a few months ago who completely redid my profile, told me what pictures would look the best, and gave me some tips when messaging but nothing has really improved. I've been basically single for the majority of my life with only having 2 girlfriends who both ended up cheating and leaving me for another guy. What can I do to change my single life and find the love of my life? Any advice helps and please let me know if you need more details. 1
Whodatdog Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 Get off the computer. Go out and do something. Have some interests, some hobbies. Be the person someone wants to get to know. 3
Author JayScott9 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Posted July 9, 2017 Get off the computer. Go out and do something. Have some interests, some hobbies. Be the person someone wants to get to know. I'm constantly going out. I don't go to clubs or anything like that because I live sober now, but I do go to the gym, concerts, museums, art galleries, play different sports and many other things...
darkmoon Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 you need to make friends with the girls you like am not saying be friendoned just let them get to trust you over time, be chatty, let them all get used to you and to value you, be cordial think of lil birds who fly here and there and then back to you
smackie9 Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 JayScott9 find another dating coach. It seems to me there are things personally that could use a change like wardrobe, hair style maybe. Have that dating coach set you up with dates to critique you or personally go out with you to help you polish up on conversation, posturing, etc. We really can't help you much because we need to be there and know you personally. Maybe ask a few close female friends or coworkers to give you some tips. 2
Whodatdog Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 I'm constantly going out. I don't go to clubs or anything like that because I live sober now, but I do go to the gym, concerts, museums, art galleries, play different sports and many other things... If you are doing all these things and more, why are you not meeting people? Even meeting guys. After all, guys have sisters, and sisters are always looking for dates. I can't imagine a single guy involved in as many things as you are that can't find dates.
goldenlotus Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 I think you are off to a great start in going out and meeting people. Are your friends and family generally aware that you are looking for someone? Do you ever start conversations with random women when you are going out? A friend of mine would go up to random women he met while out, introduce himself, try to start a conversation, and ask them to coffee. He was low pressure and left immediately if the woman seemed uncomfortable, but a surprising number were willing to talk and many of them did take him up on his offer. When I go out, I notice men looking at me but no one ever talks to me. Maybe try that? 1
coolheadal Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 I've been on four different online dating sites (POF, OKC, Tinder, Bumble) for the last 5 years. I've had very little success with getting responses back they usually never get read or end up just getting deleted. I send typically 5-15 messages a day. These are not copy and paste, but me actually taking a few minutes to go over the woman's profile and coming up with something that is geared towards them and not just a generic response like I'm sure they receive all the time from other guys. I hired a dating couch a few months ago who completely redid my profile, told me what pictures would look the best, and gave me some tips when messaging but nothing has really improved. I've been basically single for the majority of my life with only having 2 girlfriends who both ended up cheating and leaving me for another guy. What can I do to change my single life and find the love of my life? Any advice helps and please let me know if you need more details. Hire me as your dating coach! You only need 3 pictures in your profile and you should be bit bold in your profile also. I do not know what your dealing with but if you need help just let me know.. If you say you are all that, I see no reason why you can't find a woman. So many online plus off-line as well. Sure it's not easy without help..
caveman621 Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 Are you being "picky"? Without seeing you or your profile, it's tough to say. But are there women you don't message because they don't meet you standard of beauty? People say others should not be judged on their attractiveness, but, let's face it, with OLD, that's what people look at first. I don't know if that's what's going on. Just a thought.
d0nnivain Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 OLD lets most people down. I was only on it for 90 days 10 years ago but it was horribly demoralizing & I'd never had trouble meeting people IRL. Ask the dating coach for real world help
Redhead14 Posted July 10, 2017 Posted July 10, 2017 I'm constantly going out. I don't go to clubs or anything like that because I live sober now, but I do go to the gym, concerts, museums, art galleries, play different sports and many other things... Then just keep doing all that and be focused on just YOU for a while now that you seem to be feeling drained by the dating process. OLD "fails" most people it seems. Join some mixed group activities/clubs -- bowling, hiking clubs, bike clubs, photography clubs and the like. Right now, you are "watching and waiting for the pot to boil" and that always seems to take forever. While you're waiting for the water to boil, be preparing the other elements of the meal and it will seem to have come to a boil more quickly 2
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