Womanscorn Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 I am so angry right now I just want to send proof to the next woman that the man she's dating is a lying cheat. I have been broken up with my ex for the past year but last August we connected again and had a few weeks of happiness when things started to feel strange. He wasn't calling or texting me or making plans. I was the one initiating everything and i was frustrated. Then I just stopped texting him and he never tried contacting me again until Christmas time when I reached out to him. He then told me that since I left him he started dating someone in his past. I had a feeling when I left him that he was in fact dating her or perhaps he had never stopped seeing her at his convenience. After Christmas we remained as friends and saw each other a couple of times then I decided never to contact him until he activated his facebook about just around my birthday and then reached out to me on my birthday. I ignored him then he posted a picture I had taken of him just to see if I would comment which I again ignored again. I know, I will definiately block him from facebook in a couple of weeks, just not know. The girlfriend is on his facebook account and she is so stretched out from plastic surgery that she looks like the joker. There is no indication that they are dating but she makes comments on things he posts and "likes and loves" every time. Just a few days ago he texted me and I waited 2 hours before I very politely responded to congratulate him on a promotion he had mentioned and to ask about my family. He is definitely seeing this poor needy woman whose dead husband left her very comfortable. When I checked on the dating site I met him on, he is actively there and I made up a phony profile to see what he would do and he definitely wanted to meet this "new woman" for coffee. He is actively online checking all day long trying to meet women. So I thought of the idea of printing out the his profile and the back and forth between the phony profile and sending to her since I know where she lives. I know this is not nice, but not only did he lie to me, he is lying to this woman and to the women he contacts online when he tells them he is single and free to date. It is unfair and this woman should be aware that this man will not only hurt her emotionally when he finds his next victim, but she can catch an STD as he does not like to wear protection. Honestly I would feel some satisfaction after all the lies about wanting a relationship with me and then backing off when he found it convenient to move on. He is a very good catch, a professional and good looking and I know the middle aged women would be all over him when he sweet talks them. I find it very hard to move on and I know that I will once I block him from facebook but I want to do this first so that he doesn't find out its me that alerted her. 1
elaine567 Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 Who originally initiated the first break up and how long had you been dating?
stillafool Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 So have you done it yet? My advice would be to forget about him and move on with your life. How do you know his gf is needy? Have you met her? You two were broken up and he has a right to enter a relationship with someone new if he wants to. Sorry you are hurt but the more you dwell on something that is so in the past you will remain bitter.
Redhead14 Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 Forget about the others and focus on just You and your life and moving forward. It is not your responsibility to woman-kind to be the "revealer". Let them find out what they are dealing with. The "needy" woman you referred to may very well be a lot smarter than you think . . . you don't know if she will ferret him out quickly. And, if she is that needy, she will likely think you are just a scorned woman with a motive to lie and undermine her relationship with him. There is no dignity in revenge. Find other more productive ways to deal with the energy that anger creates -- do something nice for yourself. Change your surroundings -- get new curtains, rearrange the furniture, paint the place, buy yourself something you've always wanted, without breaking the bank, of course 1
Whodatdog Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 Jealousy and revenge is very ugly on a person. Its hurting you far more than its hurting him. You will look like a spiteful child who couldnt keep a man, and the new girlfriend may not believe you. She may not even care. You were broke up with him. You initiated contact again and again, and he didnt reciprocate. You are jealous. Jealousy can make you do stupid things. Dont be that person. 1
Author Womanscorn Posted July 9, 2017 Author Posted July 9, 2017 When I stopped talking to him he was already seeing her and is my gripe. I think I could accept him seeing another woman but this woman who he had dated in the past was always pursuing him and I just cant let it go. I did not initiate contact this last time 2 weeks ago. He had been trying to get my attention by posting things on facebook and I ignored him, then HE TEXTED me and mentioned something about a movie we saw together trying to startle a conversation together. I probably will not follow up with my intentions, but right now I am pissed off and this is what's on my mind. I know its petty and she will eventually figure things out for herself. She happens to be a psychologist so I don't understand why she is putting up with so little from him. When him and I reconnected at at the beginning of the year, he was coming to my house and holding hands and looking into my eyes and holding me and telling me how good friends we were and how we were going to remain friends forever. He would leave her house and drop by mine since we live so close. He wasn't planning on making a commitment to her and that he would eventually end the relationship because he is basically emotionally unavailable after his divorce. When he told me that during our dating, I started to feel very insecure in the relationship and I also found him looking through the dating site we met on as well so it was hard to have a normal relationship with him. So he is basically doing the same thing with her except she's gone the distance. I guess she accepts what he is giving her and he told me that he tells her he wants no marriage and would eventually move out of state when he retires. I just couldn't accept a man who was dating me and also looking at sites and connecting with others and keeping old friends as well. I want a commitment where I know I could count on the man for the weekends, know that he is concentrating on me and not other women and be able to make plans for short and long term future. He could not do that.
stillafool Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 I want a commitment where I know I could count on the man for the weekends, know that he is concentrating on me and not other women and be able to make plans for short and long term future. He could not do that. Then you are better off without him and he was not what you wanted. This relationship may be perfect for her and that may be why he chose her. Since you know he wasn't the one for you it should be easier to let this jealousy and bitterness go and move forward to find the right man for you. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 I know you are hurt OP, but I think you being unnecessarily harsh on this other woman. You don't know her, beyond what you see on her profile. You have no idea if she already knows all of this about him and chooses to continue anyway. You also have no idea if what he tells you about their relationship is true. You know he is a liar so he's likely being dishonest about that too. I am sorry this happened, in any event. He sounds a complete clown. 1
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