beverly Posted August 7, 2005 Posted August 7, 2005 im feeling better in myself than i have been in a along time for nc defiantly works but from time to time i have had to make contact because of bills and things, but i intend to show that he cant hurt me any more ,i have given him chance to sort out some of the finacial mess im left in , certain bills are joint and are saying contact before certain dates or court and if we dont appear at court it will be aresst, i told him that we both need to be around when we contact this bill as he says he is paying the installments we agreed on, im not going to be arrested because he rather spend his money on showing gf a lavish life style he cant afford, she likes to have ppl spending money on her, yes i know that nc means nc but certain things need sorting he wont even go and get legal advice , solictors letter went out this week to make sure he pays child support to me suested paying through direct debit so need for contact , the other thing was making sure that i had two days notice when he wanted the children not much to ask out of 14yr marriage , how can they walk away without a care in the world,
pioneer Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 funny how people can just walk away, i thought that when my ex left me, but the truth is, they can. Dont let them see it bothers you.
caroline Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 here it is, we almost have the same problem. I have some ups and downs in my past relationships, like I mean, I have met a guy in a mall and we started hanging out, and I wasn't really attracted to him but I was desperate in having a commitment cos I'm sick of being single when I think about it that time, it worked out for 2 weeks but after 2 weeks after making love with someone, just anyone just to see if I might have a commitment later, well nothing happens! he asked me if I wanted to be his gf and me to be his gf, and I did said yes, cos it sounds like my nightmare is over but it's didn't come out like that! after 2 weeks, I started calling him sometimes, leaving messages on his phone and telling him to call me back and I miss him, but he never did and it almost 2 months now, so it seems like some people are careless I mean most of them are. all you have to do is move on and forget the person who never seems to give you attention, you deserve better. someone who will understand everything that you feel. I hope this helps.
beverly Posted August 21, 2005 Posted August 21, 2005 thanks but at the time of writing the other piece i was refering to my hisband who not only was able to walk away from me and my children but all the things that we bought togeather over the last 16 years , i have been left with all the problems and he moved in next door with gf , so u see walking away from a relationship is one thing but walking away from resposiblities is another and that is wat i cant understand
caroline Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 all you need to do now is to talk to him. if you could get to talk to him. let him open up to you. and if nothing happens and if he really want to stay with his new gf, then set him free and he will go back to you afterwards, trust me. he will never find someone as good as his first wife. I hope this helps.
beverly Posted August 23, 2005 Posted August 23, 2005 thanks caroline we are talking a lot at the moment as friends because if nothing else we do have the kids to think of , during this time of problems he is having im glad that he thinks he can talk to me as a friend as long as i keep that in mind i will be safe , i am going ahead with divorce it might take months or even years to realise wat we had or didnt have that made us end up in this situation , in the mean time i have to remain as normal as posible for the kids it might be to late to go back where we were or to repair the damage but i know im not alone out there are lots of ppl in similar situations like me thanks again
sundrop Posted August 24, 2005 Posted August 24, 2005 I don't think they can walk away as easy as they make it seem. They are just better at making it look like they can. And when there is someone else they run to, yes it makes it easier for them. But you know what, when they turn to someone else, the end up being th weaker person, because they could not handle it on their own. You on the other hand, should take away from this, you are the much stronger person and should be proud of that.....
beverly Posted August 29, 2005 Posted August 29, 2005 i hope i did the right thing spending time with ex, let him watch the footie with his brother and mate and a friend, after we took the kids mcds then we sat in the kitchen talking just me the ex and his brother then we i had a couple of friends pop around that are down on holiday, when thay left the ex was on the pc and his brother went of two do things , i talked about some of the things that have happend recently then we sat at the kitchen table talking , ex ended up crying told him it should help, resisted touching him for ages but reached out and caught hold of his hand we ended up crying togeather when he said sorry i said that i had forgiven him along time ago then i asked him to stay, i know it was to quick we both agreed this we slept in each others arms all night when it was morning we got up so the kids didnt know as we had agreed to not build up there hopes, we also discussed trying to work things out but only if both of us want to and saying it is going to take a long time but when we are both ready he could come back , i hope i have done the right thing
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