goldenlotus Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 I've been talking to this guy for a long time...about 8 years. We've never met and only happened to start talking due to an unusual circumstance, not from online dating. After all this time, he's moved to a state much closer to me and we have our first date set up. I'm excited to meet someone I've talked to for such a long time, but I'm also really anxious because...well...he's really, really attractive. I'm probably above average in looks, but he looks like he could model. He is gorgeous. He's even more beautiful on the inside - educated, kind, and has a big heart. Thus far he knows what I look like and says he is interested, and he also says he likes who I am as a person and feels a connection to me. That's all well and good, but I'm not assuming anything until we've actually met. If he doesn't like me in person, I'll be ok with it. I am excited to meet someone I've talked to for so long and I'd be happy with his friendship. What I want to know is, does anyone know of any relationships where the man is hotter than the woman? I have been on dates with really attractive guys in the past, but that was years ago and now I'm used to being on the same level or more attractive than the guys I date. Also, does anyone have any good stories of two people meeting after talking for awhile, and things worked out for them? Or even if it didn't work out - I'll take horror stories too!
coolheadal Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 You both sound hot so go with that. Stories you meet for the first time that's your story. Others stories won't matter because the story is all about you to being so hot together!
Whodatdog Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 If you say he's so hot, and he hasnt had a girlfriend in 8 years? You may not be meeting who you think you are. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 Assume he thinks you are hotter then he is & go from there. My husband is drop dead gorgeous. Many people including my mother told me not to get involved with him because he was too good looking. My husband genuinely has no idea how handsome he is, & doesn't believe people when they compliment his looks. Looks are superficial. Enjoy your date. 2
Chilli Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 (edited) Well, sorta. l'm suppose to be one of those , there's a joke for ya. But l think the way it's often ended up that way is because of the sort of person and personality l love in a girl . l dunno , but the girls that aren't so much the beauty in the bunch do tend to be just great girls l find. Edited July 9, 2017 by Chilli 1
smackie9 Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 I think you have built his looks up more in your head than what he truly is. I have a friend that spent many hours talking about this guy she worked with....and I thought wow he must be this amazing tall handsome guy. Well when we all finally met him.....just your average short stocky middle age guy that I wouldn't even notice or take a glance at. Fat old guy was my first impression....he was nice enough, a real gentleman.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 Some hot guys are very sweet and genuine. Some others are arrogant pricks. It won't take long to figure out which way he leans. Just be careful not to get too swept up by the halo effect. No matter how level-headed you may be, it's a powerful force. 1
Ami1uwant Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 My advice when you meet do something that i nvolves an activity like going to a farmers market or a museum. Because you guys have chatted so much this could be weird because its the first time meeting but you guys have likely long passed normal 1st date conversation stuff.
stillafool Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 I've always found that the most good looking men tend to be the nicest and the most faithful. That's why I married my husband.
carhill Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 OP, to answer your question, yes I know a number of room-stopper guys married to women who decidedly don't stop the room, though I wouldn't call them unattractive. The key for them is they appear to love each other as humans, not their room-stopping or not images. In your case, men who are both good looking and good with women don't need to make any special trips to enjoy the pleasures of company or the flesh so I'd not worry too much about the gorgeous stuff and just enjoy the meeting. If one meeting turns into another and another, or nothing, that's how it works out. If the guy, so far, has given you the overall vibe that he's interested in you as a person, go with that. If that changes, deal with it then.
Whodatdog Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 Have you actually seen him, or just pictures of him?
carhill Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 Have you actually seen him, or just pictures of him? The OP wrote: We've never met and only happened to start talking due to an unusual circumstance, not from online dating. --------- Along those lines, and with a much longer journey, I once met a woman with whom I exchanged relatively blurry pictures of the early internet after having first contact without pictures at all. Suffice to say she was far more 'gorgeous' in life than in a blurry picture and that ran deep enough that I nearly married her. The complexities of distance and culture and politics at the time, and my fear of those challenges, were the main reason I didn't. That was my loss. That dynamic underscores another aspect perhaps in play in this story, that of perception. The OP sees the man in question through her own eyes of perception. Without wider social interaction it's difficult to know if others perceive him, in person, the way she does. Opinions on pictures are one thing. The flesh is quite another. One meeting can tell a lot. Hope it goes well.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 I've been talking to this guy for a long time...about 8 years. We've never met and only happened to start talking due to an unusual circumstance, not from online dating. After all this time, he's moved to a state much closer to me and we have our first date set up. I'm excited to meet someone I've talked to for such a long time, but I'm also really anxious because...well...he's really, really attractive. I'm probably above average in looks, but he looks like he could model. He is gorgeous. He's even more beautiful on the inside - educated, kind, and has a big heart. Thus far he knows what I look like and says he is interested, and he also says he likes who I am as a person and feels a connection to me. That's all well and good, but I'm not assuming anything until we've actually met. If he doesn't like me in person, I'll be ok with it. I am excited to meet someone I've talked to for so long and I'd be happy with his friendship. What I want to know is, does anyone know of any relationships where the man is hotter than the woman? I have been on dates with really attractive guys in the past, but that was years ago and now I'm used to being on the same level or more attractive than the guys I date. Also, does anyone have any good stories of two people meeting after talking for awhile, and things worked out for them? Or even if it didn't work out - I'll take horror stories too! Wow, you already have some unhealthy notions of relationships and dating and you haven't met yet. 8 years!? How do you know that that is him. Have you video skyped? He's definitely been dating during those years. Be careful, he may be a pretty boy, but he may also be a player knows he's hot to the ladies. All of the 'inside' stuff you know of him cannot be verified. All talk for now. Keep a level head and try not to focus so much on looks. By the way, I date ladies who are hotter than me all the time. I even married them.
Author goldenlotus Posted July 9, 2017 Author Posted July 9, 2017 Thanks everyone! Over these past 8 years, he has had relationships as have I. When we are dating, the other without fail becomes jealous and our friendship becomes more distant. It seems like he starts comparing girlfriends to me and doesn't feel they understand him as I do. He believes in fate and I think, well I know, he believes that our meeting and continued friendship are a sign that we may be fated to be together. He's a very emotional kind of person and he doesn't like to date people or be intimate unless he feels a connection, which is actually similar to a lot of guys that I've dated or have been interested in me. I know how he looks because of the pictures we exchanged, and he used to be on facebook, and I did interact with his family and friends a little bit. They all knew who I was and how we met. His mom actually started with the 'fated to be' comments. When I first showed his picture to a friend, she told me not to get involved with him because he will only play me! I had to laugh because it's totally not his personality. I agree that there could be an element of insecurity for me. I think you guys are right that I should just be as confident as possible and not worry about it. He says that looks fade and people get old, wrinkly, and fat so it's what is underneath that really counts.
Author goldenlotus Posted July 9, 2017 Author Posted July 9, 2017 (edited) What unhealthy notions about dating and relationships? What a weird, critical thing to say! I'm not pinning all my hopes on someone I haven't even met. In fact I always assumed our friendship would just stay that and we possibly would never meet...or one of us would be married with kids. Well, now we are meeting and I'm concerned that I will be a disappointment. I'm not sure if he's being realistic about me, and so I'm glad he can see who I am in case he has some romanticized notion of me. In any case, I've seen a lot of bashing and attacking people on this forum, and it's not necessary or helpful. Edited July 9, 2017 by goldenlotus 1
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