! Cannot stand to go back to places where I had a traumatizing experience.

[PeanutButter88]

I have 2 places I can't stand going back to.

 

A city where my ex made me guess that he had cheated on me. Another is a place where my bf and I had a huge fight (almost ended our relationship).

 

Both places were in themselves nice. It's more related to what happened there.

 

But now every time I need to go back to the first city (where ex cheated on me) i feel uneased, bad. Even though I am over this ex.

With the one where I had the huge fight, it's worse because I am still eith my boyfriend and this place just reminds me of all the terrible things that happened to our relationship there. I right now can't go back there band when my boyfriend goes there I can't stand him telling me what he is doing there or talking about the place.

 

I see I associate those places with a 'traumatizing' event. What is this called and how do I get over it?

 

Thank you all

Edited July 7, 2017 by PeanutButter88

[Hoosfoos]

Exposure to these places over time. I'm working on the same thing right now. I'm trying to take these places back and make them my own.

[Redhead14]

I have 2 places I can't stand going back to.

 

A city where my ex made me guess that he had cheated on me. Another is a place where my bf and I had a huge fight (almost ended our relationship).

 

Both places were in themselves nice. It's more related to what happened there.

 

But now every time I need to go back to the first city (where ex cheated on me) i feel uneased, bad. Even though I am over this ex.

With the one where I had the huge fight, it's worse because I am still eith my boyfriend and this place just reminds me of all the terrible things that happened to our relationship there. I right now can't go back there band when my boyfriend goes there I can't stand him telling me what he is doing there or talking about the place.

 

I see I associate those places with a 'traumatizing' event. What is this called and how do I get over it?

 

Thank you all

 

It's mild form of post-traumatic stress. Plain and simple. You can overcome this level of PTS and it simply involves just doing it and pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone a few times. It's kinda like exposure therapy -- people with a fear of flying preparing themselves ahead of time and then taking a short flight. You have assumed a "victim" mentality. Be a survivor!

 

This is not about a catastrophic trauma like rape or a car accident, physically injurious event, so it really is a matter of just DO It.

[stillafool]

Or, just stay away from those places if they make you uncomfortable.

[whichwayisup]

Exposure therapy, bit by bit drive by those places that bring up bad and painful memories. If you want to get over it and able to go there without drudging up the past then work through it and the memories, know that you've moved on and leave the past in the past. If you can't get over it then continue to not go to though avoiding places because it's too painful probably means you've not dealt with the pain in a healthy way, maybe try some counseling.

[d0nnivain]

Try to arrange a good experience for yourself in the city. It may help.

 

 

There are certain places I avoid. When I had to go to the hospital where my dad died, I hyperventilated. It was kind of embarrassing because I had brought my husband to the ER but I ended up getting more attention then him.

 

 

One of my EXs died in Key West. I haven't been back since & the idea of going fills me with dread.