dreamersreverie Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 I didn't know how to simplify my worries into a real question hence the title. So I've been using one of the dating sites and every time I find myself interested in meeting up with someone they usually never follow through? We still communicate through text or email or what not, but this time I actually found someone I'm interested in. I'm just really worried that we're not compatible and that I'll disappoint? I used my best photos and I feel as if internet presence is different than physical presence (so I'm worried that I'll look like a completely different person). The person I'm interested in is very physically active and probably really physically fit (10+ mile bike rides, runs, hiking). I'm barely active and sometimes I'm lightly active (not including work). In my profile pictures, they're mainly headshots/selfies so I'm worried my body won't look as nice? And then also what if I look too different from my photos? I'm also getting the sense that this person is an extrovert where as I'm an introvert, and I'm afraid of not being "social-able" enough. I like being in social situations but it takes awhile to loosen up. Basically, I just have a lot of worries and need some type of reassurance or advice. Dating someone you've already met in person doesn't really scare me but just online = real life does.
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 That is the crux of the problem with OLD. You don't really know the other person & neither of you may be "as advertised." In part that is why 1st meets needs to be short, well lit, cheap & public . . .like meeting for coffee. Go into an OLD meet with the idea that it's an hour. It's an audition for both of you, nothing more. If it seems worth it to have a second date, fine. If it's not good, you wasted an hour. No harm. No foul.
coolheadal Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 I didn't know how to simplify my worries into a real question hence the title. So I've been using one of the dating sites and every time I find myself interested in meeting up with someone they usually never follow through? We still communicate through text or email or what not, but this time I actually found someone I'm interested in. I'm just really worried that we're not compatible and that I'll disappoint? I used my best photos and I feel as if internet presence is different than physical presence (so I'm worried that I'll look like a completely different person). The person I'm interested in is very physically active and probably really physically fit (10+ mile bike rides, runs, hiking). I'm barely active and sometimes I'm lightly active (not including work). In my profile pictures, they're mainly headshots/selfies so I'm worried my body won't look as nice? And then also what if I look too different from my photos? I'm also getting the sense that this person is an extrovert where as I'm an introvert, and I'm afraid of not being "social-able" enough. I like being in social situations but it takes awhile to loosen up. Basically, I just have a lot of worries and need some type of reassurance or advice. Dating someone you've already met in person doesn't really scare me but just online = real life does. My dear you sound new to this. Just be careful who you start talking too. Don't rush but talk to them on cell. For a couple of days if you can get past 1 hour with them you might have a good chance the first date would be a good one. Make sure your are both on the same page. If not then move on to the next guy. We are all strangers, that's something GOD might have overlook in creation of us humans. So now we have to think and put up a small advert about who we are and what we seek for love. Like hooking a fish on hook. See what bites an then you go from there. The sea of fish are not what they often seem to be though. That's the problem today. A lot of abuse has been played. I wish it was like it was back in 1998, I don't like the way it is in 2017 not the same to me. Just be careful my dear you sound like a nice sweet woman, who's just looking to find someone to love you for you. You don't have to prove that you not up to what they put down just be you. Fit doesn't always mean they're 100% fit. They could have a tummy, they could be all sorts of things. You will find the truth when you meet them in person. Good luck! 1
SevenCity Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 I didn't know how to simplify my worries into a real question hence the title. So I've been using one of the dating sites and every time I find myself interested in meeting up with someone they usually never follow through? We still communicate through text or email or what not, but this time I actually found someone I'm interested in. I'm just really worried that we're not compatible and that I'll disappoint? I used my best photos and I feel as if internet presence is different than physical presence (so I'm worried that I'll look like a completely different person). The person I'm interested in is very physically active and probably really physically fit (10+ mile bike rides, runs, hiking). I'm barely active and sometimes I'm lightly active (not including work). In my profile pictures, they're mainly headshots/selfies so I'm worried my body won't look as nice? And then also what if I look too different from my photos? I'm also getting the sense that this person is an extrovert where as I'm an introvert, and I'm afraid of not being "social-able" enough. I like being in social situations but it takes awhile to loosen up. Basically, I just have a lot of worries and need some type of reassurance or advice. Dating someone you've already met in person doesn't really scare me but just online = real life does. Sounds like you are hiding online what you actually look like in person. This will almost always lead to disappointment for the people who meet you in person. Experienced OLDers know that when a woman doesn't show her body / has face only pics she is usually overweight. More than that, it starts out the interaction with someone who has tried to deceive us. If you want to avoid this, put up full body pics so people know what you look like. This will filter out any guys who are not attracted to your body type. Whether your're skinny or plus size there is a guy who will be attracted. Don't hide or deceive - it is a huge turn off. Your other insecurities are another matter that should be worked out in therapy. But starting out with honest pics will make you feel more secure as you know the guy is attracted to who you really are. 1
lurker74 Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 Sounds like you are hiding online what you actually look like in person. This will almost always lead to disappointment for the people who meet you in person. Experienced OLDers know that when a woman doesn't show her body / has face only pics she is usually overweight. More than that, it starts out the interaction with someone who has tried to deceive us. If you want to avoid this, put up full body pics so people know what you look like. This will filter out any guys who are not attracted to your body type. Whether your're skinny or plus size there is a guy who will be attracted. Don't hide or deceive - it is a huge turn off. Your other insecurities are another matter that should be worked out in therapy. But starting out with honest pics will make you feel more secure as you know the guy is attracted to who you really are. I totally agree with this...the whole point of OLD is that you get to avoid the awkward "what if s/he doesn't like me phase." If they message you, they're interested...if they meet you, they're very interested. Maybe it won't work out but you don't have to worry about threshold rejection.
Author dreamersreverie Posted July 29, 2017 Author Posted July 29, 2017 I just wanted to give everyone an update. We actually met in person and went on two dates. So things are going well so far, I guess I made a problem out of nothing? 1
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