What to wear [UPDATED: is it okay to see him again?]

July 10, 2017

Would you be interested in going on a second date? If yes, you should have said let's do the movie another evening.

July 10, 2017

Does anyone else find it odd that they didnt even hug goodbye?

That seems a little off to me...

July 10, 2017

I didn't want to see a movie with him because I didn't want to look too eager to be with him, but I did like the guy just fine.

Well that might have thrown him off

Why do you think you would seem to eager?

You would be showing interest which is a good thing if he was doing the same

July 10, 2017

Does anyone else find it odd that they didnt even hug goodbye?

That seems a little off to me...

It's not necessarily off if you consider her other threads, but the guy may not be aware of that and is left wondering, especially in combination with her declining to extend the evening.

July 11, 2017

I had a dinner date last weekend (see recently created threads). I have heard from him via text the next day, we were texting today for a bit today about stuff (just chit chatty things). It tapered off around dinnertime.

I want to see him again, he's a good guy - or seems to be at least. Is it okay to just ASK to see him again? Like for this weekend? I kind of want to ... But I'm afraid of getting shot down or embarrassed or trying again and finding nothing but dead ends.

July 11, 2017

I had a dinner date last weekend (see recently created threads). I have heard from him via text the next day, we were texting today for a bit today about stuff (just chit chatty things). It tapered off around dinnertime.

I want to see him again, he's a good guy - or seems to be at least. Is it okay to just ASK to see him again? Like for this weekend? I kind of want to ... But I'm afraid of getting shot down or embarrassed or trying again and finding nothing but dead ends.

He is still in contact which is a good sign but I would leave it a couple of days, he very well could end up asking you out again! it is only Tuesday.

At this point you do not want be chasing an guy, if he is interested he will ask you out again.

July 11, 2017

I had a dinner date last weekend (see recently created threads). I have heard from him via text the next day, we were texting today for a bit today about stuff (just chit chatty things). It tapered off around dinnertime.

I want to see him again, he's a good guy - or seems to be at least. Is it okay to just ASK to see him again? Like for this weekend? I kind of want to ... But I'm afraid of getting shot down or embarrassed or trying again and finding nothing but dead ends.

In the very beginning, it's best to let the man lead. Let him initiate the first few dates. After that you can and should initiate once in a while. After he's done some initiating, your fear of being "rejected" will be reduced at least because you have a better idea of "where" he's at. After he's initiated a few dates, you won't be so hesitant because, well, you already know he likes you enough.

Sit back and observe how he's dating you so that you can get a sense of his real interest level. Right now, you take the chance of coming off as chasing him.

July 11, 2017

I had a dinner date last weekend (see recently created threads). I have heard from him via text the next day, we were texting today for a bit today about stuff (just chit chatty things). It tapered off around dinnertime.

I want to see him again, he's a good guy - or seems to be at least. Is it okay to just ASK to see him again? Like for this weekend? I kind of want to ... But I'm afraid of getting shot down or embarrassed or trying again and finding nothing but dead ends.

If you want to see him again, go ahead & reach out. He's afraid of the same things.

Fortune favors the bold.

July 11, 2017

Is it okay to just ASK to see him again? Like for this weekend?

Of course it's okay.

But I'm afraid of getting shot down or embarrassed or trying again and finding nothing but dead ends.

This is always a risk, but in the grand scheme of things, not a big one. You'll recover.

If you're too shy to ask him out directly, you can always take the indirect approach and ask him if he has any plans for the weekend.

July 11, 2017

We are just Tuesday morning, relax. It's too early for you to reach out to him for next weekend. Let him think and wonder about you. Give him enough time to do his job = invite you on a 2nd date.

What you are trying to do is to control this situation. You cannot. You're afraid if you don't book him in a 2nd date asap he'll disappear or forget about you. If he does *let him*.

If this man likes you he will reach out.

July 11, 2017

There is nothing wrong with reaching out and saying something like..

"hey, I had a great time, let's do it again soon"....

I know some of the women here are telling you to lay low and let him chase you...That's conventional wisdom among many women...Some guys don't really play that game, and its not like you are blowing up his phone or seem needy...I see nothing wrong with it, nor would I necessarily see it as someone being needy or desperate..

It's in your gut otherwise you wouldn't have started a thread about it...Go with your gut.....Risk is the name of the game in just about everything in life...You can't always look for the safe route..

Good luck

TFY

July 11, 2017

Gaeta is right. Right now you are feeling anxious and hopeful, etc. You should never do anything that is anxiety-based. I might even suggest you reach out to him if you were being relaxed and carefree, etc. But, I'd tell you to wait a little bit longer anyway. It's only been a day. It seems longer to you, I'm sure

Just let this sit for a bit. See what he does. Manage your anxiety. Be busy with your life.

July 11, 2017

If you do, leave it open ended - giving him space to plan the date.

July 11, 2017

Based on how your previous date with him ended I would certainly encourage you to reach out.

July 11, 2017

His interest level is not going to decrease if you reach out...I would go for it.

July 11, 2017

I had a dinner date last weekend (see recently created threads). I have heard from him via text the next day, we were texting today for a bit today about stuff (just chit chatty things). It tapered off around dinnertime.

I want to see him again, he's a good guy - or seems to be at least. Is it okay to just ASK to see him again? Like for this weekend? I kind of want to ... But I'm afraid of getting shot down or embarrassed or trying again and finding nothing but dead ends.

Of course!!! Do it! It lets him know that you have concrete interest.

You're not telling him that you can't live without him, are you?

How about you make the plans and pick up the tab?

What did you end up wearing?

July 11, 2017

If I were you I'd let him reach out - if he's interested he'll do it soon.

I had a dinner date last weekend (see recently created threads). I have heard from him via text the next day, we were texting today for a bit today about stuff (just chit chatty things). It tapered off around dinnertime.

I want to see him again, he's a good guy - or seems to be at least. Is it okay to just ASK to see him again? Like for this weekend? I kind of want to ... But I'm afraid of getting shot down or embarrassed or trying again and finding nothing but dead ends.

July 11, 2017

Wow the answers are completely split 50/50!! I'd be confused too!!! I didn't see your previous thread Morten so not sure of the context of previous date or how it ended. My general feeling is that at the beginning a guy should be the one pursuing. That said, you can take it right up to the point where the next sentence IS that he asks you for a place and time. An example would be talking about your interests or ads you saw for a new movie, an activity coming up in your community, or it's been so hot, I've been meaning to go to the beach. Hopefully you get the idea. You make it so all he has to do is carry it over the threshold and ask.

As someone said, above fortune does favor the bold though, so if he is shy and you are sure he's into you without hesitation about dating you (or anyone), it won't make a difference really. He'll be happy you asked. I do think it sets up a pattern where he does not that much work. This is not to say guys are responsible for everything--it's just a biological fact that they are typically MORE into what they earn rather than what is handed to them and over time it will set up patterns. Hopefully things would be give and take if you moved forward as a couple. Good luck

July 11, 2017

Wow the answers are completely split 50/50!! I'd be confused too!!! I didn't see your previous thread Morten so not sure of the context of previous date or how it ended. My general feeling is that at the beginning a guy should be the one pursuing. That said, you can take it right up to the point where the next sentence IS that he asks you for a place and time. An example would be talking about your interests or ads you saw for a new movie, an activity coming up in your community, or it's been so hot, I've been meaning to go to the beach. Hopefully you get the idea. You make it so all he has to do is carry it over the threshold and ask.

As someone said, above fortune does favor the bold though, so if he is shy and you are sure he's into you without hesitation about dating you (or anyone), it won't make a difference really. He'll be happy you asked. I do think it sets up a pattern where he does not that much work. This is not to say guys are responsible for everything--it's just a biological fact that they are typically MORE into what they earn rather than what is handed to them and over time it will set up patterns. Hopefully things would be give and take if you moved forward as a couple. Good luck

All are noble thoughts, giving those "loaded hints" to things to do, but I am loosing faith now. I sent him a text following up since our exchange yesterday at about 2 pm and I have not heard from him since. I followed up just by saying I have a monster report to do today for my summer job. And ... Nothing. I will wait ...

July 11, 2017

What if the guy misinterpreted something and thinks she's uninterested? Like ... I don't know ... waiting for him to initiate contact or set up dates first.

If a woman is interested in me, she needs to let me know.

All of this game playing to try to measure interest is a turnoff to me. I'm a grown man. Not a little boy. Don't date little girls or play little girl games.

Be real with me and I'll be real with you.

Whether we work out or not, JUST TALK TO ME!

We're grown folks, not teenagers. It's not that hard.

July 11, 2017

All are noble thoughts, giving those "loaded hints" to things to do, but I am loosing faith now. I sent him a text following up since our exchange yesterday at about 2 pm and I have not heard from him since. I followed up just by saying I have a monster report to do today for my summer job. And ... Nothing. I will wait ...

I'll give you my take on the situation.

The evening after your first date you stopped replying to his texts which set a precedent for future communication. I suspect he was feeling exactly like you are feeling now, waiting for a text that didn't arrive until the following day. He is following your example to not prioritize your texts.

To minimize any further confusion try and include something that encourages a response in your texts, rather than just a statement about something like;

"I have a monster report to do today for my summer job, it would be nice to have something to look forward to on the weekend, like a date with a handsome guy".

It doesn't have to be that corny, but you get my point. It attempts to get a conversation going.

Also, if you are exchanging a few texts in a row and you want to end it. It wouldn't hurt to just give him a heads up so he isn't waiting for a response, because the chances are that it makes him feel just as anxious waiting as it does for you. A simple, "I have to get going now. It was nice talking to you" or "I'll talk to you tomorrow" would clear up any confusion, and hopefully he will do the same thing when talking to you.

I don't see any problem with asking him to do something. However, if it makes you feel too nervous then just drop a few hints and see how he responds.

Good luck.

July 11, 2017

I'll give you my take on the situation.

The evening after your first date you stopped replying to his texts which set a precedent for future communication. I suspect he was feeling exactly like you are feeling now, waiting for a text that didn't arrive until the following day. He is following your example to not prioritize your texts.

To minimize any further confusion try and include something that encourages a response in your texts, rather than just a statement about something like;

"I have a monster report to do today for my summer job, it would be nice to have something to look forward to on the weekend, like a date with a handsome guy".

It doesn't have to be that corny, but you get my point. It attempts to get a conversation going.

Also, if you are exchanging a few texts in a row and you want to end it. It wouldn't hurt to just give him a heads up so he isn't waiting for a response, because the chances are that it makes him feel just as anxious waiting as it does for you. A simple, "I have to get going now. It was nice talking to you" or "I'll talk to you tomorrow" would clear up any confusion, and hopefully he will do the same thing when talking to you.

I don't see any problem with asking him to do something. However, if it makes you feel too nervous then just drop a few hints and see how he responds.

Good luck.

Just communicate. I agree.

That's all I'm saying.

Good communication is a building block of a great relationship anyway.

If you do your part and he doesn't respond accordingly, then you probably don't want to date him. Why be with a person who doesn't communicate well? Doesn't respect you enough to return your calls or texts? Won't be honest and forthcoming about their availability or interest? Can't appreciate that you're busy and not available at times?

However, if you do run across a person who communicates well, respects and appreciates you early on, then I think that's a better indicator of success than some of these dating rules we use.

Men and women, we have to give each other a chance without being so skeptical and distrusting.

July 12, 2017

I followed up just by saying I have a monster report to do today for my summer job. And ... Nothing. I will wait ...

If a new person I was dating told me they had a major project at work, I would refrain from contacting them so as not to interfere with work. You told him you were busy but now you're upset because he's respecting that. Geesh.

July 12, 2017

If a new person I was dating told me they had a major project at work, I would refrain from contacting them so as not to interfere with work. You told him you were busy but now you're upset because he's respecting that. Geesh.

I agree she did not send the best message but the guy could have, at least, replied: Good luck with that.

When we had a good first date I don't think the way we construct a sentence makes a difference. When we like someone we're blind to the occasional faux-pas people make during dating.

July 17, 2017

OP: Any updates?

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