lovedreamer Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 I have been exclusively dating this guy for about 5 months now. We always have fun and don't really fight. There were a few times when I would confront him with things that I was feeling uncomfortable with, and he'd always reassured me that everything is fine. 5 months later, all of sudden he asked me where we are heading. He said that he has been having an anxiety because he is not sure if he wants a serious relationship, but he wants to be with me. So he wanted a week of space to think if he wanted to be in a relationship with me or not. I didn't understand why he needed to decide at that time. So he wrote me a letter explaining that he has been down this road before, where he got too deep into it and realised that he did not want to commit. A week later, he decided to not continue, it's been a week and we still talk through text daily. He doesn't reply as fast as before, but he still does. He still watches all of my Instagram stories. Is there any other way to salvage this relationship or should I just move on?
stillafool Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 Move on. Unless you want to be his FWB as he has told you he does not want a commitment. 1
preraph Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 He doesn't want a relationship, just sex and no obligations and wants to be free to do whatever, so he's simply not ready for a relationship. If he's still young, like in his twenties, this is pretty typical. If he's over 30, he may just never be ready for a commitment. 1
spiderowl Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 A guy who wants to be with you would not take a break for any reason. He would not want to risk losing you. The fact that this guy has done that means he is saying no relationship in future. He wants to see you (as a friend or for sex?) but he is not offering a relationship. You need to decide whether you want to be friends with benefits, just a friend (in which case keep sex out of it) or move on to find someone who does want a relationship with you. Don't make the mistake of thinking that if you spend more time with him and are loving and giving that he will change his mind. He won't respect you for that (although he'll take it) and it is unlikely to make any difference. If a guy says he wants a break, to me that means a break-up. If you think it means just a break, then you misunderstand. If a guy wants a break, it is best to give him one for good.
staggerlee71 Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 I going to take the opposite view on this. something is just not right here. I smell insecurity and fear. now, its coming from within him but he is looking to you for some sort of assurance. which you think your giving. if he wanted sex and that's all, it would be colder, direct. his words would sound bad. the fact he asked where are we headed are not the words of fwb or a man who only wants sex. NO man asks that unless he is confused. infact, we wait for a women to ask that and your not. he wants to move faster but as a man it feels weak. he wrote the letter because he cant say what he feels. so the letter is what he feels. .Fear rules this one. let him go. fear is your enemy. hes not sure and that's not what you want. not sure about you, hes not sure about him 1
Recommended Posts