BaileyB Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 I have been in therapy for a few months. I identified issues that were contributing to my stress, like finances and him not helping clean the house or allow me to hire someone to do it. Six weeks later, the house is very dirty (i.e. no cleaning the bathroom, the floors, the kitchen, or bird poop on the porch). He has not made an appointment with a therapist and gives me a hundred bad reasons why he doesn't need to. He hasn't gone to a doctor (another concern I have had). He still isn't contributing to the mortgage, but I know he has gone out a few times. And recently, I went by and saw my two plants that were so important to me were dead - and they were right above the sink with a pitcher right there to remind us to water them. Am I crazy for thinking he doesn't really want me to come back and he may want me to end this? Thoughts? My question is - why would you ever want to stay? This man is a slob, he doesn't take care of himself, he's not paying the mortgage, he's not even responsible enough to take care of some plants. He's done nothing to show you that he sees there is a problem and he is committed to make it better. Call me crazy, but why would you ever want to stay with him? Surely life would be healthier and happier without him...
Author Joan621 Posted July 12, 2017 Author Posted July 12, 2017 Just thought I would post an update. I ended things last week. I had an emotional purge of sorts that ended with a feeling of clarity I had been lacking. I knew by posting here and seeking counseling that I knew it had to end. I just had to come to terms with it on my own. Interestingly, he didn't put up a fight. He suggested I might need more help, not a breakup, for having such a strong emotional reaction, but then after that he concluded he had no say. He apparently told friends that all I cared about was work and I was too unstable to effectively communicate with...disappointing to hear, but it validates my decision. Thank you all for your advice though. It certainly helped me on this difficult journey.
Superchicken Posted July 12, 2017 Posted July 12, 2017 Its not over yet. Emotions start to get really high within days of breaking up. Once that feeling of missing some one kicks in, he will be in contact with you, with requests to try again, and fix it. Something you need to also think about. In the end, make sure you keep to your decision, whatever it is. Ted. 1
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