SunnySide0418 Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 Been with my bf for a year and a half. Sat we had our first big fight. He shut down in the middle saying he had nothing left to say and needed time. I asked him to stay to work it out. He said no and left. That was Sat and it's now weds. Am I to assume it's over and he doesn't have the decency to tell me? I am very surprised by this behavior from him.
d0nnivain Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 Some people do need to step away to assess a situation & regroup. Have you reach out to him & asked to talk calmly? Try that before you completely give up.
Redhead14 Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 Been with my bf for a year and a half. Sat we had our first big fight. He shut down in the middle saying he had nothing left to say and needed time. I asked him to stay to work it out. He said no and left. That was Sat and it's now weds. Am I to assume it's over and he doesn't have the decency to tell me? I am very surprised by this behavior from him. A smart, mature person will step back from a disagreement that is escalating. A day or two tops is fine as long as the disagreement has been tabled and communication stays intact. The best way to handle this is to say something like "hey, let's step away from this topic for now and consider what we've each said and come back to it xday, a couple of hours, etc. This guy is pushing that envelope for sure. I would reach out to him and ask if you can calmly sit down and discuss it. If he declines, you tell him you're moving on because conflict resolution skills are lacking and that would not make for a good long-term, committed partnership. I am very surprised by this behavior from him -- That is the beauty of not jumping into marriage/living together etc. New behaviors and attitudes come to light all the time . . . 1
Author SunnySide0418 Posted July 6, 2017 Author Posted July 6, 2017 What was the fight about? The argument was about our future and my kids having to switch schools if we were to marry. He was being insensitive and said it's no big deal that they have to switch schools. They are 7 and 9. His kids do not have to switch schools bc their mom lives on the district. It didn't need to but out got out of hand and he showed me a side of himself I haven't seen. He has texted and asked if we can talk tomorrow. I'm thinking he's gong to end things ..
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