kiodou Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 Sup guys, I'm a 20 year old boy, I have a beautiful girlfriend, we've been together a year, We both live in different countries but we visit each other often for long periods of time. She is also pregnant. Since she got pregnant, we decided to take things serious and mature our relationship in preperation for brining a baby into the mix. Things like fixings issues, or solving conflicts more maturely, etc... Now over the past 2 months we had an argument and she told me that she doesn't trust anybody (I personally believe this is the most childish thing to say). So now to the problem. Last friday, I decided to go out with a bunch of my friends (about 11 friends) to the club, Since I haven't went out with my friends like this since we started the relationship (she didn't force me, I did to prevent unnecessary problems). I got really drunk, and I forgot my phone in one of my friends cars. He gave it to his girlfriend (which is also my friends, that she knows) since she able to drop it out to me the next day. But before that happens my girl rings my phone and my friend's girlfriend answered. When she answered she told my girl who she was and that I lost my phone in her boyfriends car and she will drop it off to me later that day. My girlfriends goes crazy and starts messaging me on facebook about how i'm cheating and whatever, even go as far as calling the girl who answered had my phone my "woman"... I told her i know it looks bad, but I've never given her a reason to believe that i would cheat on her, on-top of that the girl explained to my girlfriend who she was and why she had my phone. But she is convinced I'm cheating??? It doesn't make any sense, why she can't trust me, she been a similar situation and I believed her side of the story and went on with life. But she argues that the fact that another woman answered my phone means i'm cheating (not that she's a friend trying to help me get back my phone)........ This really pisses me off, because this is not the first time she accused me of cheating. A woman (who is a well-known liar, that everyone knows not to believe anything that comes out her mouth because she love to make problems) once told her I was going to look for some girls. And she believed her and she even told me that everything I say "is a lie"... One day there was a power outage at my apartment, I went home and I tried to send her a message telling her the light was off but it didn't go through, so I recorded a video of me in my apartment with the lights off, even showed through the window (it was night time), everything was pitched black. She didn't believe that too, and she got mad at me because I wasn't answering her messages??????? I even sent her the website link to the electricity company that showed there was a power outage in my area at that time, I guess she must of thought I was cheating too, huh? Please I really need help, I want to give my first born an amazing family, she can't never trust me. I'm on the verge of giving up, because I can't deal with this the rest of my life. I'm her sole provider, I do everything for her, I make so much sacrifices for her, as well as she does too, but I still get treated like this. It's really unfair especially for me who is trying really hard.
Blanco Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 How are you going to raise a baby together when you are living in separate countries? 2
Author kiodou Posted July 5, 2017 Author Posted July 5, 2017 (edited) Part of maturing in our relationship was her moving in with me. We've gotten everything prepared already, I even found a job waiting for her from a friend that owns the company. I'm also a Software Developer, I have citizenship in her country (being my mom is from there), So if that doesn't work out I can move back to where she live, with ease. I've stayed from 1 month to 8 months there while being fully productive. It's not an issue for me because I got friends and families in each country. I also should mention I have an apartment in her country as well. Edited July 5, 2017 by kiodou adding more detail
spiderowl Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 It is not fair that she does not trust you, but I can see how she is thinking. She is pregnant, will be moving to another country to be with you, and is probably feeling extra vulnerable. She may be having doubts about moving away from her family at a time when she is likely to need them most. Any sign that the relationship (and her security) is threatened is likely to make her worried. I think all you can do is to reassure her you love her and you are not cheating. Reiterate that you want to be with her and take care of her and the baby (she may just think you are interested in the child and not her any more). She is in a very vulnerable state. I don't know what else to say because obviously if this gets worse and she is angry with you all the time, then it does threaten your relationship. It is worth trying to make sure she feels secure with you and see how it goes. 1
Author kiodou Posted July 5, 2017 Author Posted July 5, 2017 Thanks for your response, I will try more and more for her. I'll do my best.
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