JustGettingBy Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 I just got a "yes" to asking a woman on OLD on a date set for next week (first one found via OLD), and we're in the middle of setting it up. Obviously, I want to meet her at the restaurant without any trouble, (I don't want to ruin a date by us both showing up, but then not finding each other) but I have no means of communicating with her outside of the site. Exchanging cell numbers makes sense, but it feels weird sharing numbers with someone I've never met face-to-face. Is there another way, or am I just being paranoid about exchanging call numbers?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 I just got a "yes" to asking a woman on OLD on a date set for next week (first one found via OLD), and we're in the middle of setting it up. Obviously, I want to meet her at the restaurant without any trouble, (I don't want to ruin a date by us both showing up, but then not finding each other) but I have no means of communicating with her outside of the site. Exchanging cell numbers makes sense, but it feels weird sharing numbers with someone I've never met face-to-face. Is there another way, or am I just being paranoid about exchanging call numbers? Most people exchange phone numbers. 2
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 If things don't work out....it's called block/delete.
Gaeta Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 Yes you are being paranoid. I have met over 200 men in the past 3-4 years, which means close to 200 men have my cell number and no one used it inappropriately. * Did she send you a picture? you must ask for one. * A first meeting is not a date so no restaurant, meet for a coffee or drinks * Yes exchange numbers and possibly speak over the phone before meeting If she refuses to send you pictures = abort If she insists on going to a restaurant = abort If she refuses to exchange numbers = abort. 1
Author JustGettingBy Posted July 5, 2017 Author Posted July 5, 2017 Yes you are being paranoid. I have met over 200 men in the past 3-4 years, which means close to 200 men have my cell number and no one used it inappropriately. * Did she send you a picture? you must ask for one. * A first meeting is not a date so no restaurant, meet for a coffee or drinks * Yes exchange numbers and possibly speak over the phone before meeting If she refuses to send you pictures = abort If she insists on going to a restaurant = abort If she refuses to exchange numbers = abort. Wow, thanks. The meeting isn't 'set in stone' yet (still figuring out where) so I can still suggest a coffee place first. I'll keep this in mind.
d0nnivain Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 Exchange phone #s. It's the easiest way. You can also agree to wear a particular color & presumably you will have seen each other's pictures so you will know what the other one looks like.
Gaeta Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 Wow, thanks. The meeting isn't 'set in stone' yet (still figuring out where) so I can still suggest a coffee place first. I'll keep this in mind. Yes, a coffee place or something on a terrace, but no eating at a restaurant. chances are this woman won't call you back. If you treat women to restaurants every first date you will ruin yourself.
Redhead14 Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 I just got a "yes" to asking a woman on OLD on a date set for next week (first one found via OLD), and we're in the middle of setting it up. Obviously, I want to meet her at the restaurant without any trouble, (I don't want to ruin a date by us both showing up, but then not finding each other) but I have no means of communicating with her outside of the site. Exchanging cell numbers makes sense, but it feels weird sharing numbers with someone I've never met face-to-face. Is there another way, or am I just being paranoid about exchanging call numbers? Exchange numbers. If something happens on the way to the restaurant, etc. you need a way to communicate with each other. You can always block, delete, ignore if necessary. And, this is not a "date". This is a short meet up over drinks and maybe hors 'd oerves just to confirm that they are who they say they are and look like their pictures, etc. and decide whether you want a real date. You don't spend a lot of money or time on this. If you're really liking each other and having a good time, fine, spend a little more time, but don't go over the top. Save a little mystery for the real date if you have one. 1
coolheadal Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 Wow, thanks. The meeting isn't 'set in stone' yet (still figuring out where) so I can still suggest a coffee place first. I'll keep this in mind. You have doom written over all your forehead. Stop this right now. Stand-up be confident have healthy ego and get out there and have great date. Call her up and hear her voice. Why would you go on a date you never spoken on the phone. Talk to her a bit see if the conversation can last more than 1 hr. Then make your final call and get this show on the road!
No_Go Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 I'm not a fan of exchanging phone numbers before meeting in person - location can be easily tracked with a phone and out there is full with psychos and convicts. I have met 8 or 9 men from OLD in my dating history and at least 2 were dangerous enough that if I knew, I'd run not walk (the one I wrote here about that scammed me with money had multiple criminal records under his name, however he'll present himself with his middle name and his family name, so I had no way to find out without extensive research). Most people have their dating app on their phone - what's the deal with messaging there if they can't find each other for some reason? Yes you are being paranoid. I have met over 200 men in the past 3-4 years, which means close to 200 men have my cell number and no one used it inappropriately. * Did she send you a picture? you must ask for one. * A first meeting is not a date so no restaurant, meet for a coffee or drinks * Yes exchange numbers and possibly speak over the phone before meeting If she refuses to send you pictures = abort If she insists on going to a restaurant = abort If she refuses to exchange numbers = abort. 1
Gaeta Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 I'm not a fan of exchanging phone numbers before meeting in person - location can be easily tracked with a phone and out there is full with psychos and convicts. I have met 8 or 9 men from OLD in my dating history and at least 2 were dangerous enough that if I knew, I'd run not walk (the one I wrote here about that scammed me with money had multiple criminal records under his name, however he'll present himself with his middle name and his family name, so I had no way to find out without extensive research). Most people have their dating app on their phone - what's the deal with messaging there if they can't find each other for some reason? Maybe it depends where you are from. In Canada crime rate is so low it's rare we hear horror stories from meeting online. 1
act00 Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 I'm assuming you have the dating app on your phone, and if she's weird about giving up her number (you should ask to exchange numbers), then you can communicate via app. You can wait for her in the entrance or lobby area where you can easily find each other. You should be able to recognize her from her online pictures, and she you, hopefully. You can text her when you arrive. If you get a table (I also recommend starting with drinks and advance to dinner if it goes well), you can let her know and what you're wearing and let the host/hostess know you're expecting so-and-so. If you can exchange numbers, a call before the date, in part to establish plans as well, is a good idea. I've had instances where I get weirded out by a guy who turns out to be strange and refrain from giving up my number until we meet, so I wouldn't necessarily consider this a red flag. I think it's okay to avoid this since this can link up to FB, etc., and some people may feel more comfortable meeting first. You'll have to take your chances she looks like her pics (enough) and that you click, which is why drinks first is always a good start (instead of a prolonged meal).
JuneL Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 As mentioned by a couple of posters, you can use the dating app on your phone for real-time texting, or you can get a free google voice number. 1
kendahke Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 I just got a "yes" to asking a woman on OLD on a date set for next week (first one found via OLD), and we're in the middle of setting it up. Obviously, I want to meet her at the restaurant without any trouble, (I don't want to ruin a date by us both showing up, but then not finding each other) but I have no means of communicating with her outside of the site. Exchanging cell numbers makes sense, but it feels weird sharing numbers with someone I've never met face-to-face. Is there another way, or am I just being paranoid about exchanging call numbers? For now, use the phone app for the OLD site until you meet. Then if you feel you like her well enough, exchange numbers then. That's what I do. I insist upon staying in communication on the site until we meet because you don't know to whom you are giving your number. 1
phineas Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 (edited) my past old steps. get at least 5 messages online. if she doesn't suggest we meet for a beer and offer her number by then ask for it. be blunt. we both know why we are there. if she don't give it, move on. if she does, text her and let her know who you are. and that you are busy at work. then get her on the phone and ask her to meet, hash out where and when. i pick a place in between. got a north place and south place meet. if she flakes it depends on how she does it to determine if i respond. if it's mega lame i don't. if she uses family as an excuse i tell her "np i hope everything turns out ok" then never contact her again. if she gets back to me then game on. honestly, for online, you basically have to not take it seriously until it's time to hop in the shower so you make the date on time. before then, i just wait for the flake. not exactly a confidence booster but i'm a veteran. also if you have any skillz or your kung-fu is strong, once you have a name, number, and township you can easily creep them on social media to find out if they are married or frauding with their pics. hey, i've ended up with married women more than i care to of been so i do my research. Edited July 6, 2017 by phineas
act00 Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 my past old steps. get at least 5 messages online. if she doesn't suggest we meet for a beer and offer her number by then ask for it. be blunt. we both know why we are there. if she don't give it, move on. if she does, text her and let her know who you are. and that you are busy at work. then get her on the phone and ask her to meet, hash out where and when. i pick a place in between. got a north place and south place meet. if she flakes it depends on how she does it to determine if i respond. if it's mega lame i don't. if she uses family as an excuse i tell her "np i hope everything turns out ok" then never contact her again. if she gets back to me then game on. honestly, for online, you basically have to not take it seriously until it's time to hop in the shower so you make the date on time. before then, i just wait for the flake. not exactly a confidence booster but i'm a veteran. also if you have any skillz or your kung-fu is strong, once you have a name, number, and township you can easily creep them on social media to find out if they are married or frauding with their pics. hey, i've ended up with married women more than i care to of been so i do my research. I can't tell you the number of times I have texted, "I'm here" to a pre-planned place and time and they have to jump in the shower to meet me...obviously late. I can't tell you what a major turn-off that is, that they can't be at the proposed place, on time. Yes, I have simply left and gone home. I'm sorry for all the bad experiences. I've been stood up on multiple occasions. I still get ready and show up on time. That "creep them on social media" is exactly why people don't like to give up their phone number. They don't have to be hiding anything, but one nut-job gets a hold of last name, address, kids' names, family members...it can get really messy and possibly dangerous, so it's good you pointed out the creeper aspect. 1
Author JustGettingBy Posted July 7, 2017 Author Posted July 7, 2017 Thanks for the advice everyone. However, as we were trying to set up a day and time (hadn't even gotten to deciding on a place) she stopped returning my messages, so for now it seems to be all of nothing.
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