fred123 Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Do you need permission from your gf to do this? Im intrigued if you change your status to " in a relationship with ....." do you need their permission? Also if you want to put a pic up.of you two or fb profile pic up do you need their permission first? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 i feel its not about asking permission but more showing respect for your gf or bf.....by sharing your desire to want to do these particular things.....to see how they feel about it first before anyone else gets to know and see your pictures or status.......personally in my eyes, it has to be your gf or bf that knows first...and if your bf or gf doesnt want to make it public so soon ..... i think it is also about loyalty to respect his or her wishes.....what you think other people want to see or know....isnt as important or have merit over loyalty to your bf or gfs wishes.....deb.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted July 5, 2017 Author Share Posted July 5, 2017 i feel its not about asking permission but more showing respect for your gf or bf.....by sharing your desire to want to do these particular things.....to see how they feel about it first before anyone else gets to know and see your pictures or status.......personally in my eyes, it has to be your gf or bf that knows first...and if your bf or gf doesnt want to make it public so soon ..... i think it is also about loyalty to respect his or her wishes.....what you think other people want to see or know....isnt as important or have merit over loyalty to your bf or gfs wishes.....deb.... Shouldnt your bf or gf be happy? wats the point in having a bf or gf if you cant put in public?? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Yes absolutely both cases require having the conversation and reaching agreement with the other person before making a change to FB. Once you do that it communicates to the world and you both need to be on the same page. To do otherwise is rude and self absorbed. Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Why do you even feel the need to make your relationship public on Facebook? Social medias do nothing but harm to relationships. It's mostly those who are highly insecure that posts most things related to their relationship. Not even talking about the embarrassement of removing the status and pictures in case you break up. Less is more sometimes. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 I have to agree you do not need to tell FB your not single anymore. I never changed mine. Shows I am single that's all my friends on their need to know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Shouldnt your bf or gf be happy? wats the point in having a bf or gf if you cant put in public?? Because not everyone enjoys having their personal life paraded online for all to see! Young people in particular have this insane obsession with documenting every bloody moment and every bloody detail in their lives online. There comes a point where you have to ask yourself, why? Why is it so damn important to reveal everything online to people who, more often than not, aren't even people you consider true friends or are people you hang out with on a regular basis. Your girlfriend may be fine with you changing your relationship status and posting pics of the two of you but it should be something you talk about first if only to make sure she's cool with it as well. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 You can completely take the status off, so there will be no need to put anything up. That would take the stress off lol. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
knabe Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Shouldnt your bf or gf be happy? wats the point in having a bf or gf if you cant put in public?? Is this question serious? Why do you date someone, because you care about them and want to be with this or so you can show off that you have someone? How old aqre you? For the record, I am engaged, and neither of us have really given our "relationship status" on social media consideration. Because.....it doesn;t matter. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted July 5, 2017 Author Share Posted July 5, 2017 Why do you even feel the need to make your relationship public on Facebook? Social medias do nothing but harm to relationships. It's mostly those who are highly insecure that posts most things related to their relationship. Not even talking about the embarrassement of removing the status and pictures in case you break up. Less is more sometimes. True but if you did her reaction shouldnt be mad she should be happy right? Never a good sign Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 True but if you did her reaction shouldnt be mad she should be happy right? Never a good sign If your girlfriend is one of those who is very active on social media and posts everything from what she had for breakfast to a slurry of pics of her drunk dancing with her girlfriends at some club, then you might expect her to expect you to showcase your relationship all over your social media. But if she's not that kind of girl, then you can't assume anything at this point. Has she updated HER profile page or posted pics of you on her social media? If not, you might have to ask yourself why not and then go from there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 True but if you did her reaction shouldnt be mad she should be happy right? Never a good sign She "should" be happy??? No. Not everyone is a fan of social media, and not all fb "friends" are real friends or even friends in real life. I don't put my r'ship status on fb because my private life is private. My close friends know that I'm single/divorced/in a relationship, and that's who matters. And please don't tell your partner they "should" anything. Let them feel and do as they please and either respect their decision or find another partner. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hoosfoos Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Why would you want to? It's none of Facebook's business. Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 I never changed mine, I dont' even show mine, nor does my GF, Other than the occasional post where i am out to dinner with the GF, you'd have no way of knowing I have one. Same for her page. I share a fair amount, but, my relationship with her is my business. To know about her, you have to be more than a FB friend. All my real life friends know and have met her. She feels the same. It's all in what the two of you are comfortable with and decide. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Yes you do. I'd personally never be ok with changing relationship status (maybe if I get married but even then I'm not so sure. For just a bf - never ever). If she's like me, she'd not be so happy with the FB update... For profile pictures - same story - permission first is a must. Do you need permission from your gf to do this? Im intrigued if you change your status to " in a relationship with ....." do you need their permission? Also if you want to put a pic up.of you two or fb profile pic up do you need their permission first? Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 True but if you did her reaction shouldnt be mad she should be happy right? Never a good sign Ugh I would have been mad. Announcing relationships is a huge pet peeve of mine - it turns something intimate and private into public news... Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Shouldnt your bf or gf be happy? wats the point in having a bf or gf if you cant put in public?? i dont feel facebook makes a happy relationship......my bf woudl be happy...because i would actively work at making our relationship special and make him feel loved and cared for..one of a kind..... .changing a face book status....isn't what i call happiness.....or would it ever equal happiness..... you know i often wonder when people are taking pictures for facebook...are they really in that moment and seeing what is around them feeling the person next to them........or worrying about angles and how they look...and where the best light is....how many smiles....are they truly feeling..... ...some of the best times and best days i have ever had with a partner and friends were so full and in the moment...i didnt take time to take photos.....they are now my memories......sometimes i can even physically feel those memories.....and i write it down...or make those memories into a poem i dont need facebook to do that.... ...i feel face book often sucks the specialness out of relationships...the little secrets two should only share......and comes in between shaky relationships quite often to cause problems......for me my focus on happiness would be NOT letting facebook determine how happy i am or my partner is..facebook has no merit to determine relationships and happiness...deb Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 General rule of social media: Do not post anything about anyone else's life without their knowledge. Specifically about 'in a relationship' updates, I have to defer to my 18yo daughter. She says you need to discuss it before posting it. Her rule is to is to make sure the relationship has legs before making it public. She doesn't like the idea of putting up 'in a relationship' and then having the relationship implode a month later and having to change the status again. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 True but if you did her reaction shouldnt be mad she should be happy right? Never a good sign No necessarily. What the F should she be happy about it? Everything could have been just great and then if you went ahead and made it Facebook official without her consent, she could be really upset and justifiably so. Fred - if you did this I want you to listen to me really closely. The only "right" move for you is to do this: 1. Appologize for doing it 2. Recognize it was self absorbed and inconsiderate 3. That you should have discussed it with her before doing anything 4. Ask her what she'd like you to do to clean it up Under no circumstances should you try to justify or defend your actions. Nor should you tell her how she "should" be feeling. Just realize you screwed up and try to move on. Don't do that again. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 Ah Facebook, like it or not we are in it for the long haul and this has become a great topic of debate to make our relationships public or not. I see it this way after much trial and error with it - If you wish to make things public, make them public of course. Show photos of you and the SO doing things together, out places, etc. I would not, however change the actual relationship status itself until about 4-6 months has passed, once you are actually in a relationship and not in the crush / infatuation stage which many mistake for being in a relationship. And yes, you do need permission from the other person to change it, because they have to want to make it public as well on their end if they are on Facebook. Because the minute you update it to "in a relationship with Name" everyone's going to click on it to see who this person is. Whatever you do, don't go out on two or three dates, then have sex with the person, then assume that you are in relationship with that person automatically. Because you aren't, you're in infatuation at that point. And it might come back and bite you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 Ah Facebook, like it or not we are in it for the long haul and this has become a great topic of debate to make our relationships public or not. I see it this way after much trial and error with it - If you wish to make things public, make them public of course. Show photos of you and the SO doing things together, out places, etc. I would not, however change the actual relationship status itself until about 4-6 months has passed, once you are actually in a relationship and not in the crush / infatuation stage which many mistake for being in a relationship. And yes, you do need permission from the other person to change it, because they have to want to make it public as well on their end if they are on Facebook. Because the minute you update it to "in a relationship with Name" everyone's going to click on it to see who this person is. Whatever you do, don't go out on two or three dates, then have sex with the person, then assume that you are in relationship with that person automatically. Because you aren't, you're in infatuation at that point. And it might come back and bite you. Do you need permission to put pics of you and your SO on your facebook though? Thats still public Link to post Share on other sites
Casper. Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 wats the point in having a bf or gf if you cant put in public?? That's a weird thing to say.. Surly the point of being in a relationship isnt to virtually shout out to your facebook friends 'hey look, i've got someone to sleep with me'! I have changed my facebook relationship status once it 'in a relationship' and only because she wanted to and, and to be honest, that was in the latter stages (and tail end) of our relationship. More seriously... I havent changed my fb relationship status now, and it honestly doenst bother me one way or the other. I'd change it now if she wanted us to, but i wouldnt just do it with out talking to her. I do post pictures of us together though, and tag her in places and photos and stuff. I've never given it a lot of consideration before, I never did ask her if i could, but i cant for the life of me remember if I did it first or she did. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fred123 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 That's a weird thing to say.. Surly the point of being in a relationship isnt to virtually shout out to your facebook friends 'hey look, i've got someone to sleep with me'! I have changed my facebook relationship status once it 'in a relationship' and only because she wanted to and, and to be honest, that was in the latter stages (and tail end) of our relationship. More seriously... I havent changed my fb relationship status now, and it honestly doenst bother me one way or the other. I'd change it now if she wanted us to, but i wouldnt just do it with out talking to her. I do post pictures of us together though, and tag her in places and photos and stuff. I've never given it a lot of consideration before, I never did ask her if i could, but i cant for the life of me remember if I did it first or she did. Tagging someone in posts and pics together is surely the same thing as changing rship status? Everyone will know you guys are together! Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 I think you and your GF need to be in agreement that you're in a long-term, committed relationship and change your status together. Personally, I won't change mine until we're on the road to marriage type of seriousness. I would be weirded out if a guy I was only dating went and changed his status, obviously especially if it was only a few months. Pictures are pictures. I don't post a lot but a few of my friends do, so there will be pictures, but a barrage of "couple" pictures on my "date's" social media would creep me out, and especially if there was no discussion on if it's okay to post my picture on social media. I have privacy settings. Some people don't. I think as a whole, there really is no need to change FB status at all until you're both really serious and decide to do it together. The people you know, spend time with, and are the most important to you will know you're dating and in a relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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