coolheadal Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 So OP what do want? Real man to love or just a guy for you to drop your panties for that one night? This is what I don't get from you. Sure I want to have fun and be playful but I want a serious relationship. Those other things all mentioned here so far just not going to cut it. What type of vibes your giving off your giving off hey she's available lets have some fun with her. I am sure you don't want that. So again I say to you OP what do you want? What are you settling for jerks for... Sometimes actions speaks louder than words! The proof is in the pudding... Can't judge a book by it's cover! I can go on and on! Your vibe is causing a time slip meaning it's happen on a repeat cycle which will never end until you make it end! 1
Author oneinamillion93 Posted July 5, 2017 Author Posted July 5, 2017 Why didn't you tell him something like " it's a little early to be going to your place or better yet sure I'll bring my friend and bring a friend " haha I dont know either haha I just rejected the idea but didn't asking why he would do that, well honestly because I already know what he wants when he offered me that so
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 I wouldn't say that but I think I'm a little bit too naive for this games. Tip: you can't "sex" your way into a relationship. So many women make this mistake. 4
Author oneinamillion93 Posted July 5, 2017 Author Posted July 5, 2017 Where do I even begin?!? There is what people claim they want, and what they really want. Their actions and choices give this away. You are no different than the person who claims to want to lose weight and be healthy, bemoans constantly how impossible it is to lose weight despite all their best efforts, but day in and day out, does nothing but gorge on cheese fries and extra large pizzas, chased by a chocolate cake and Twinkies, and swished down with a vat of ice cream and a Big Gulp of Coke, all while refusing to lift a finger. In your case, you claim you want a relationship because you're not the kind of girl who does ONS (plus your parents are religious:laugh:). Yet you: only choose hookupsbased on your dating history only pick guys who want nothing more than a hookup or ONSput yourself in situations where it's clearly going to be nothing but a hookup or ONScan't even trust your ONSs to keep their blabbing mouths shut about the hookups and the freak you are during these ONS. But who knows? Maybe with a generous helping of pixie dust and a pound of wishful thinking, you'll hit the relationship jackpot with this new hookup prospect who is also being crystal clear that he's looking for nothing more than a little action in yet another random NSA encounter. Again, you get what you choose. You choose guys who don't see you as relationship material and only want ONSs with you. You signal to them that you welcome a chance to randomly hookup with them and fly your freak flag. You get ONSs. This is no different than if you constantly indulge in gluttony. You'll gain weight! I know right. I just can't figure it out why I always end up with one. I don't intend to find a hookup yet I always end up in this situation. As I've said maybe because I'm too submissive. I dont know how to say no firmly and usually be a passive one, let people leading me on, this something to do with the way I raised I guess? So OP what do want? Real man to love or just a guy for you to drop your panties for that one night? This is what I don't get from you. Sure I want to have fun and be playful but I want a serious relationship. Those other things all mentioned here so far just not going to cut it. What type of vibes your giving off your giving off hey she's available lets have some fun with her. I am sure you don't want that. So again I say to you OP what do you want? What are you settling for jerks for... Sometimes actions speaks louder than words! The proof is in the pudding... Can't judge a book by it's cover! I can go on and on! Your vibe is causing a time slip meaning it's happen on a repeat cycle which will never end until you make it end! Of course I want a relationship I just can't find one at the moment. So how am I gonna make it go away? The wrong vibe that I gave off to people? Sometimes I feel like in my nature I am a real slut its just something in me stopped myself to the wild irresponsibility lifestyle. Thats why sometimes I feel like I am really conflict with myself
coolheadal Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 (edited) Of course I want a relationship I just can't find one at the moment. So how am I gonna make it go away? The wrong vibe that I gave off to people? Sometimes I feel like in my nature I am a real slut its just something in me stopped myself to the wild irresponsibility lifestyle. Thats why sometimes I feel like I am really conflict with myself Yes you can! Why no self-esteem with you sound like you gave up already! What are you looking for in a man. What did write in you profile or bio? This would give us all here idea why you life is like it is today. You should be happy, you should be in love and you should have everything going for you instead it's upside down world! Let me say this how do you feel about yourself right now? Good, bad or ugly? *hint is bold underlined.. this is how you should be.. Edited July 5, 2017 by coolheadal
Author oneinamillion93 Posted July 5, 2017 Author Posted July 5, 2017 Yes you can! Why no self-esteem with you sound like you gave up already! What are you looking for in a man. What did write in you profile or bio? This would give us all her idea why you life is like it is today. You should be happy, you should be in love and you should have everything going for you instead it's upside down world! I don't write anything on my profile since most of the time i met people in real life. But yeah you're right I have a really low self-esteem. It doesn't mean that I am not confident in work or being anxiety in front of people or in crowded places, I just dont feel like I am attracted enough etc, to be honest i dont feel confident in my physical appearance
coolheadal Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 I don't write anything on my profile since most of the time i met people in real life. But yeah you're right I have a really low self-esteem. It doesn't mean that I am not confident in work or being anxiety in front of people or in crowded places, I just dont feel like I am attracted enough etc, to be honest i dont feel confident in my physical appearance Thanks for being honest.. I figured something wasn't right with you. But you know you can grow out of this behavior into a wonderful woman that any man would love to have you around them. Are you the type that wears a lot of makeup or you wear none at all. Work and around people is a lot different then meeting up with a stranger. That is where you have to make it count. If you don';t they will drop and leave.. So now you see here you need help with. Okay so tell me what happens on the date when they finally meet you?
Author oneinamillion93 Posted July 5, 2017 Author Posted July 5, 2017 Thanks for being honest.. I figured something wasn't right with you. But you know you can grow out of this behavior into a wonderful woman that any man would love to have you around them. Are you the type that wears a lot of makeup or you wear none at all. Work and around people is a lot different then meeting up with a stranger. That is where you have to make it count. If you don';t they will drop and leave.. So now you see here you need help with. Okay so tell me what happens on the date when they finally meet you? no i dont wear make up much cause i also have some problems with my sensitive skin. when they finally meet me? i think i became reserved. im an introverted but i can also be loud and crazy but only around people I know, so for strangers the first time they met me maybe im really not so comfortable or really myself to talk or to express around them
act00 Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 The thing that worries me the most is your fear that that he seems to have no discretion. Workplace romances are not always the best idea, and best to be avoided, but they happen at times, and you are in separate departments, so you're not dealing with the same level of daily interaction. However, whether it's a hookup or a long-term gig, you expect discretion and respect, even if things hit the skids or if things are just hot and heavy. The workplace isn't a locker room, and a good guy will not disclose, nor will a good gal. They simply do not take their personal lives into the workplace, and they certainly don't share information that could soil a reputation. If you suspect for a second your relationship cannot be kept private, and that your guy will be spouting off locker room sex talk, or that your professional (personal) reputation could be soiled by involving yourself with this man, you have a huge, major red flag staring you in the face...don't even go there...just don't...you have no trust right here, right now...zero trust. Pay attention to your gut...just don't.
angel.eyes Posted July 6, 2017 Posted July 6, 2017 I already know what he wants when he offered me that so So you know the guy is only offering a ONS. IF all you want is a relationship, why are you getting with guys who are crystal clear that you aren't going to get a relationship with them? You're claiming you want to buy apples. Passing by dozens of grocery stores and farmer's markets, and only going into shoe stores. Then you complain as you walk out the door with yet another shoe purchase that you don't understand how you end up with all these shoe purchases and why you never end up with apples, despite your best efforts to buy apples. Choose differently if you want a different outcome. Or continue as you are and get more of the same. 2
Author oneinamillion93 Posted July 8, 2017 Author Posted July 8, 2017 So this is the update guys. He texted me and I make it clear that I just want to hangout first. And he seems pretty cool with it. So we planned for dinner instead of all the plan we made. Is this a good sign guys?
Superchicken Posted July 8, 2017 Posted July 8, 2017 Don't make the mistake that he cares anything for you. At least yet. Any person asking to go back to their room, isn't caring about a relationship. I'm sorry, but this guy is a player. He didn't even waste any time in asking for the "My Place" routine. If he respected you to start a "Real" relationship, he would not have ever made this request. This should be your decision when and if you want to take it to that level. Na, dump him, as he's true colours has come out. As guys, we know our sneaky underhanded manoeuvres. As women know women things. If he really liked you, there would be NO mention of ANY SEX. I myself, would rather enjoy the company of a women, and hold hands and kiss.. But, you see the difference. Whoosh, right in for the kill. Drag him on for as long as you can. I am sure within a month, he's gone. That's about 5 or 6 more dates.. See how he treats you then. PLAYER Alert !. Ted. 1
angel.eyes Posted July 8, 2017 Posted July 8, 2017 So this is the update guys. He texted me and I make it clear that I just want to hangout first. And he seems pretty cool with it. So we planned for dinner instead of all the plan we made. Is this a good sign guys? I thought you were looking for a relationship? Dinner plus a ONS is still a ONS. Why would you bother IF you're looking for a relationship? Why do you continue to engage with someone who has been clear that he's not getting in a relationship with you? Anyway, since you're only picking guys who want ONSs, it seems that you're perfectly happy with ONSs. It's just getting a reputation for this preference that bothers you. I can't help you with that! I'm out.
Redhead14 Posted July 8, 2017 Posted July 8, 2017 So this is the update guys. He texted me and I make it clear that I just want to hangout first. And he seems pretty cool with it. So we planned for dinner instead of all the plan we made. Is this a good sign guys? It's not a bad sign . . . but don't go home with him after. Keep that boundary clear until he's demonstrating more sincerity by being consistent with communication and setting up dates. It would be a good idea, if on this date, you have a very casual, light conversation about what you each are looking for out of your dating journeys. It's not about with each other at this point, just making sure you are both on the same page in terms of dating goals. If you're not on the same page with that, then it's not a good idea to continue seeing him.
Author oneinamillion93 Posted July 9, 2017 Author Posted July 9, 2017 It's not a bad sign . . . but don't go home with him after. Keep that boundary clear until he's demonstrating more sincerity by being consistent with communication and setting up dates. It would be a good idea, if on this date, you have a very casual, light conversation about what you each are looking for out of your dating journeys. It's not about with each other at this point, just making sure you are both on the same page in terms of dating goals. If you're not on the same page with that, then it's not a good idea to continue seeing him. We talked and hang around guys. Well kissed a few times and he made it clear he's only wants to hookup guys so I'll stop talking to him then. 2
coolheadal Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 no i dont wear make up much cause i also have some problems with my sensitive skin. when they finally meet me? i think i became reserved. im an introverted but i can also be loud and crazy but only around people I know, so for strangers the first time they met me maybe im really not so comfortable or really myself to talk or to express around them You already answer my question. So it takes a while for you to get relax with new guys. How are these guys do they pay attention to you or do they look around or roll their eyes?
coolheadal Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 So this is the update guys. He texted me and I make it clear that I just want to hangout first. And he seems pretty cool with it. So we planned for dinner instead of all the plan we made. Is this a good sign guys? No and you did the right thing with you last answer. These are not true dates these are just drop and play and run type of men. That's your problem, need to look for those type that are serious dating one woman and only one woman.
elaine567 Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 I have a vibe that he just wanna hookup,. And you were right, so start trusting your gut instinct, it will save you a lot of wasted time.
Chilli Posted July 9, 2017 Posted July 9, 2017 Yeah ,agree with other stuff here. And what he doesn't wanna be alone, how old is he , 3. ? Don;t get how your saying your not interested and want a relationship but then you have nothing against it. Anyway, if he does want more he;ll stick around but nah , doubt he's after serious in this.
Author oneinamillion93 Posted July 17, 2017 Author Posted July 17, 2017 (edited) Oh my god guys This dude is engaged already and his fiance was on her holiday. I just heard it from our mutual friends. This is totally some crazy **** guys. I didn't see it coming, I felt bad for his gf tho. Definitely not the first time he did this Edited July 17, 2017 by oneinamillion93
FastHands Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 oneinamillion93, I agree with your post. Seems he's looking for a hookup and doing that could ruin your reputation with others... In this day and age, I didn't know people still cared about reputations? Sarcasm?
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