mistycord Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 So I've been dating this guy for over a month and a half now and everything has been going good. Last night I was scrolling through Facebook and noticed he was going to an event on Friday advertised as a singles mixer near an area we've frequented on dates. I read the description and it says couples are welcome too as well as people wanting to network. Mind you he doesn't have a lot of money atm and it says you get a free drink and no cover charge if you go. Should I confront him over this? I wouldn't be surprised if he told me about it so we could go get free drinks or whatever. I was thinking of waiting for him to bring it up and then if he doesn't I'll get my answer I guess? I mean he knows that it shows up on your timeline if you plan on attending an event so I guess that means he feels he isn't doing anything shady?
smackie9 Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 I'm guessing he's bringing you.....give it a couple of days.
mikeylo Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Don't bring it up. If he goes and doesn't ask you over , then you know your answer. 3
d0nnivain Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 This is tricky. Your relationship is young. You don't say if you have promised to be exclusive. If not, he's free to do whatever. He may be going for the free drink. He may be going to network. He may be going to hook up. You can ask about the event but you can't confront. He is free to go where ever without you. Coming at him guns blazing will blow up in your face. 3
Maggie4 Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Don't ask him about it. Come Friday, you also show up at the event. When you see him, say hey thanks for posting the event on Facebook, free drinks! Then you mingle with others, you can chat with him too, but who knows, maybe you meet another guy. You're not exclusive. When women go to these events, they usually do better than the men. 2
fred123 Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Don't ask him about it. Come Friday, you also show up at the event. When you see him, say hey thanks for posting the event on Facebook, free drinks! Then you mingle with others, you can chat with him too, but who knows, maybe you meet another guy. You're not exclusive. When women go to these events, they usually do better than the men. Real mature?
fred123 Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 This is tricky. Your relationship is young. You don't say if you have promised to be exclusive. If not, he's free to do whatever. He may be going for the free drink. He may be going to network. He may be going to hook up. You can ask about the event but you can't confront. He is free to go where ever without you. Coming at him guns blazing will blow up in your face. she has a right to be upset and feel hurt though? wouldn't you?
Author mistycord Posted July 4, 2017 Author Posted July 4, 2017 This is tricky. Your relationship is young. You don't say if you have promised to be exclusive. If not, he's free to do whatever. He may be going for the free drink. He may be going to network. He may be going to hook up. You can ask about the event but you can't confront. He is free to go where ever without you. Coming at him guns blazing will blow up in your face. Yeah I should have mentioned that we've agreed that we're dating exclusively. And yeah confront is an aggressive word. Lol I'll ask him casually and just gauge his response if he doesn't ask me straight out. 2
Maggie4 Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Yeah I should have mentioned that we've agreed that we're dating exclusively. And yeah confront is an aggressive word. Lol I'll ask him casually and just gauge his response if he doesn't ask me straight out. Oh ok, I didn't know you were exclusive. I thought this was a guy you've only seen a few times. If you like him, then it's too early to give up on him and date other people. 1
Gaeta Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Yeah I should have mentioned that we've agreed that we're dating exclusively. And yeah confront is an aggressive word. Lol I'll ask him casually and just gauge his response if he doesn't ask me straight out. How long ago did he join this event? Maybe he joined it before you had the exclusivity talk and he forgot about it.
Author mistycord Posted July 4, 2017 Author Posted July 4, 2017 How long ago did he join this event? Maybe he joined it before you had the exclusivity talk and he forgot about it. He joined t last night but we had the exclusivity talk after we had been dating for a little over 2 weeks.
Gaeta Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 He joined t last night but we had the exclusivity talk after we had been dating for a little over 2 weeks. I would not *confront him* or interrogate him. It's never the right first approach. About you ask him if he'd like to grab a movie this coming Friday evening? and see what he has to say about his evening. 2
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Don't bring it up. If he goes and doesn't ask you over , then you know your answer. This. If you're exclusive and he doesn't bother to bring it up at all and goes then you may have reason to question your exclusivity. Has he ever mentioned this group to you before? And just because he clicked on it on his Facebook page which shows up on one's timeline doesn't mean anything. People do all sorts of stupid things online and on social media without thinking it through. Good luck.
angel.eyes Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Keep in mind that people sign up for things, or list themselves as interested for events all the time, and never go. Lots of no shows at these types of things. On the other hand, he may have every intention of going but not realize that RSVPing via his Facebook account alerts his FB connections. I would say nothing. There are enough outs that he can squirm his way out, even if he had every intention of going there to cheat. He can make you feel like an insecure psycho when you confront him. Instead, suggest a date activity at the same time as the networking event. See how he responds and how he chooses to handle the conflicting options. People don't come with labels (lying, cheating, dishonest, etc.) emblazoned on their foreheads. It's through observation when things like this arise that you figure out who has integrity and is trustworthy, and who isn't. Be thankful that this gift fell in your lap so early on in the dating process. 1
angel.eyes Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 I would not *confront him* or interrogate him. It's never the right first approach. About you ask him if he'd like to grab a movie this coming Friday evening? and see what he has to say about his evening. Just seeing this as I read through the thread. Gaeta is spot on. 3
Maggie4 Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 I would say nothing. There are enough outs that he can squirm his way out, even if he had every intention of going there to cheat. Yeah, don't ask. Once something like this happens early on in a relationship, it's not easy to recover. If you leave him, you'll also be filled with doubts. So just do nothing and let it run its course.
d0nnivain Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 she has a right to be upset and feel hurt though? wouldn't you? Of course but to attack him for it won't fix anything. They need to talk which is what I recommended & what the OP said she was going to do. See below. Yeah I should have mentioned that we've agreed that we're dating exclusively. And yeah confront is an aggressive word. Lol I'll ask him casually and just gauge his response if he doesn't ask me straight out. Excellent plan. I hope he gives you the "correct" answers.
Author mistycord Posted July 4, 2017 Author Posted July 4, 2017 This. If you're exclusive and he doesn't bother to bring it up at all and goes then you may have reason to question your exclusivity. Has he ever mentioned this group to you before? And just because he clicked on it on his Facebook page which shows up on one's timeline doesn't mean anything. People do all sorts of stupid things online and on social media without thinking it through. Good luck. He's a part of this fb group that alerts you of social events in our area and this party's is just another one that they're hosting.
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