mortensorchid Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 Last week I considered going to an event near my house to support the arts, a small theater company in my city. I fully admit, I was very immature in why and how I wanted to go... I'd posted about this before. A few years ago I had a thing for a coworker. After I was no longer working there I text him "Want to hang out?" He texted back "I am not interested in you romantically." I texted back to him "Well love makes you fat, doesn't it?" Erased his number, no contact since. But since then, I admit, I was stalking him on Facebook (not that we are Facebook friends but it's not hard to find someone). We know a lot of the same people on Facebook as well as in real life, our paths will cross again someday somehow I have a feeling. But I knew he was going to be at this event. I walked over and was right on the edge of going inside, but I thought better of it and said "No, don't go in. You're not ready to see him again and you'll make a donkey out of yourself if you do." ANd I left. But I was tempted of course, because ... Just because of course. Needed to vent. I guess it was lonely and immature of me to do so but it's what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 You made the right decision in the end & turned around. Everybody does silly & immature things every once in a while. No harm. No foul. Carry on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted July 4, 2017 Author Share Posted July 4, 2017 Why do I continue to stalk him through Facebook though? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 Because he's the one who got away, & you can. In the stone age, we used to drive by their houses. It really was more pathetic. Up until last year I'd occasionally take a peek at my EX's FB page because he was my "one who got away" even thought I did the dumping. I love my husband & wouldn't trade him for the world but I always wondered about the other guy. Last year thinking he was being nice he said something unforgivable to me when we bumped into each other & then I was well & truly done. Don't beat yourself up for being human. Just keep your wits about you -- like you did -- IRL. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 Why do I continue to stalk him through Facebook though? Because you have a need for some sort of closure with this dude. Thing is though, that closure is fleeting at best and you really never get the answers you seek. Just block yourself from seeing him on FB. It only takes a couple of clicks to change your worldview. Social Media can be a dangerous vehicle when used for such purposes. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 Because he's the one who got away, & you can. In the stone age, we used to drive by their houses. It really was more pathetic. I had an ex girlfriend hide in the back of my car more than once and totally pulled a "Play Misty For Me' and tried stabbing me in my sleep. lol Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 I had an ex girlfriend hide in the back of my car more than once and totally pulled a "Play Misty For Me' and tried stabbing me in my sleep. lol Yikes In my defense I was in HS when I drove by some boy's house but I did do a few ride alongs with friends when they did it. At least now dejected EXs or also-rans can stalk their victims from the distance & privacy of their own computers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 I think having such easy access makes the issue way worse for people than it would have been in the olden days of the ol' drive bys. (We all did it). I was smart, I dated guys outside my city so I wouldn't run into them. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 Yes, the old drive-bys. Well, to put it in perspective, where I came from, there was nothing else to do but get in the car and cruise, so you went around the drive-ins hoping your crush was there, then near their house to see if they were in or out. In my adult years, I had one of those mixed blessing situations where my balcony overlooked the house where the guy I was in love with's best friend and some band mates lived. I got to know them all so that was the good part. The bad part was it made me sad during the sad times. Once I moved to Dallas I was never able to avoid seeing the exes because we were mostly all part of the same big crowd who went to the same gigs, shopped at my record store, lived across the street, or worked with me. Very tangled viney. And yes, there were times I would hibernate to avoid it, but eventually I realized the only path forward was just to keep on going and doing the things I loved and just shoulder the pain. Mortenschild, you just need a new person to focus on because that one is a big fat dead end. I'm glad he was honest with you, but that should have slowed you down a bit.....so you need to get out and shine your love light on a few new men!!@! Link to post Share on other sites
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