TBM Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 This woman is just incredible. We love each other like crazy. We are close in age. My kids are grown. She has two, 10 and 15. Each year she takes the kids to Fla on vacation. Next week is the week. I've spent time with the kids but we agreed vacationing wasn't right just yet. The thought of being without her for a week is killing me. I'm dogsitting at her house while they are gone and I'm trying to keep a stiff upper lip but man oh man, I am just gonna miss the heck out of her. I am a bit of a fretter by nature. But i have never felt this way about anyone and she says the same of me. And ... wonderful as she is, she has said repeatedly that we have many great trips and vacations in our future. So why am I so melancholy just thinking about next week? Somebody help me get the glass half full on this. Thank you! 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 My goodness. How long have you been dating?
angel.eyes Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Awww! Separation is hard when you're in love. On the bright side, she'll be back in a week and missing you! Why don't you sneak something sweet in her luggage (a cute note, chocolates, or a sappy card). 1
angel.eyes Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 My goodness. How long have you been dating? Dating for eight weeks now, based on his last thread.
d0nnivain Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 It's one week. Seriously buck up. You will be fine. 3
BaileyB Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Absence makes the heart grow fonder... You will be fine.
central Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 You're in the infatuation stage. This will pass, and your brain will come back online, hopefully. You really know nothing about her this early on, and need to spend a long time getting to know each other. Don't make any rash decisions in the meantime! Anyway, this brief separation is a good thing - make sure you pursue your own life, friends, and activities while she is away. Don't become codependent. 1
coolheadal Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 This woman is just incredible. We love each other like crazy. We are close in age. My kids are grown. She has two, 10 and 15. Each year she takes the kids to Fla on vacation. Next week is the week. I've spent time with the kids but we agreed vacationing wasn't right just yet. The thought of being without her for a week is killing me. I'm dogsitting at her house while they are gone and I'm trying to keep a stiff upper lip but man oh man, I am just gonna miss the heck out of her. I am a bit of a fretter by nature. But i have never felt this way about anyone and she says the same of me. And ... wonderful as she is, she has said repeatedly that we have many great trips and vacations in our future. So why am I so melancholy just thinking about next week? Somebody help me get the glass half full on this. Thank you! Tell me what's her excuse to why you can't go with her and the two kids? How are they going to get use to you as their stepdad if the mom won't let you go. Is she not serious about you and her. Strange you can't go because she doesn't want you to be there. Yes the kids know you already. If they never met you I can understand but you have right? You should be allowed to go! This is the one problem I see with men with women with kids. Your have kids but their grown-up. Her's a younger.. Question her about this you need to make sure she's not bringing the Ex-husband along for this vacation.
d0nnivain Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Tell me what's her excuse to why you can't go with her and the two kids? How are they going to get use to you as their stepdad if the mom won't let you go. Is she not serious about you and her. Strange you can't go because she doesn't want you to be there. Yes the kids know you already. If they never met you I can understand but you have right? You should be allowed to go! This is the one problem I see with men with women with kids. Your have kids but their grown-up. Her's a younger.. Question her about this you need to make sure she's not bringing the Ex-husband along for this vacation. They haven't been dating for long. The kids are probably too small to have their own room. It would be wholly inappropriate for this new BF to share a bed with their mom under their noses. He's no where need stepdad territory. He's mom's BF, that's all. There is no evidence the EX is coming. No need to make the insecure OP even more paranoid. A single parent should spend time on vacation ALONE with the kids. For you to suggest otherwise is inappropriate IMO. It's wayyyyyyy too soon for joint vacations. 7
coolheadal Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 They haven't been dating for long. The kids are probably too small to have their own room. It would be wholly inappropriate for this new BF to share a bed with their mom under their noses. He's no where need stepdad territory. He's mom's BF, that's all. There is no evidence the EX is coming. No need to make the insecure OP even more paranoid. A single parent should spend time on vacation ALONE with the kids. For you to suggest otherwise is inappropriate IMO. It's wayyyyyyy too soon for joint vacations. Wait here those kids are 10 and 15,who said they were gong to sleep together with the mom. He wouldn't be with the mom in the same room He could get attached room or a different room. I never said anything about where they're sleeping. I've taken GF with her 5 year old out we never stayed in the same room. We're not talking about 5 year old were talking about 10 and 15 year old those a grown teens. She and him can go on joint vacation I do not see what not. How do you know the Ex-husband might not join in? You don't know, anything can happen?
coolheadal Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 You don't know if the ex-husband has been invited or not to be with the kids and her. This part wasn't able to attach to the prior comment. I not leaving any stone untouched here. We just don't know what's going on with the mom! He should ask her?
d0nnivain Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 coolheadal I don't know that the EX husband won't be there but you don't know he will. The OP said his GF has been doing this trip with her kids for years. We don't know how long she's been apart from their dad but I suspect that she gives her kids this trip post divorce, no EX. angel eyes said the OP & his GF have been together for 2 months. IMO opinion that is way too early for the OP to vacation with the kids. Do we really want to give the 15 year old tacit permission to have sex 8 weeks in? 3
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Wait here those kids are 10 and 15,who said they were gong to sleep together with the mom. He wouldn't be with the mom in the same room He could get attached room or a different room. I never said anything about where they're sleeping. I've taken GF with her 5 year old out we never stayed in the same room. We're not talking about 5 year old were talking about 10 and 15 year old those a grown teens. She and him can go on joint vacation I do not see what not. How do you know the Ex-husband might not join in? You don't know, anything can happen? Your response to OP's post is utterly ridiculous. I'm a single mom of two aged 14 and 16 and there's no way I'd bring a boyfriend of only 2 months along on vacation. I also wouldn't introduce him so soon, during the infatuation/chemical response phase, but that's beside the point. 2 months is not nearly enough time for the kids to have to compete with a new man for mom's attention while on vacation OR spend that much time with him. Mom made the right choice here, hands down. 8
Els Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 C'mon, OP. Puppy love is sweet, but you are surely mature enough to get through a week without your new girlfriend! It will pass before you know it. Wait here those kids are 10 and 15,who said they were gong to sleep together with the mom. He wouldn't be with the mom in the same room He could get attached room or a different room. I never said anything about where they're sleeping. I've taken GF with her 5 year old out we never stayed in the same room. We're not talking about 5 year old were talking about 10 and 15 year old those a grown teens. She and him can go on joint vacation I do not see what not. How do you know the Ex-husband might not join in? You don't know, anything can happen? It doesn't matter where the kids are going to be sleeping. How would you feel if, when you were a kid, your mum took you on vacation with a new man every 2 months?? It's just inappropriate for the OP to be invited. If there were no kids involved, or if they had been together for 2 years, my answer would be different. 4
angel.eyes Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 (edited) Tell me what's her excuse to why you can't go with her and the two kids? How are they going to get use to you as their stepdad if the mom won't let you go. Is she not serious about you and her. Strange you can't go because she doesn't want you to be there. Yes the kids know you already. If they never met you I can understand but you have right? You should be allowed to go! This is the one problem I see with men with women with kids. Your have kids but their grown-up. Her's a younger.. Question her about this you need to make sure she's not bringing the Ex-husband along for this vacation. What!!!:eek: How nuts! Two weeks ago, the OP posted that they had been dating six weeks. So, they are at eight weeks of dating now. EIGHT WEEKS!!! That's the reason he can't go play in the sand box or hotel room with her ten-year old...or Mommy!!! Most responsible parents aren't going to expose their kids to a revolving door of men...or as you describe them, "step dads." She just started dating the OP! The ten-year old has no idea they are dating. At eight weeks dating (and I'm single and childless), no way would I ever haul a barely boyfriend on my previously planned vacation. I can't even imagine what type of mother would shift focus from a family vacation with her kids to a brand new guy that she's barely dated. Hey kids...here's your new step dad of the month! Sorry, what you advise, suggests deep insecurity. Being a needy, sponging shamwow for a new GF's (or BF's) attention is just never attractive. That's what arguing with her over not going on her previously planned vacation with her kids and accusing her of basically using it to cheat with an ex would highlight. As for arguing the OP needs to be their step dad? ...After two months of dating??? Just no! He's 44. I'm sure he'll amuse himself just fine while she's gone for the week. Besides, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Edited July 4, 2017 by angel.eyes 2
BaileyB Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Eight weeks is too early to even introduce a new man to your kids. Never mind, taking a trip together! Eight weeks is far too early to take a trip together as a family! She would not be doing her job as a mother if she allowed a virtual stranger (because that's pretty much what you are at eight weeks) to travel and share accommodations with her children. OP, you should be able to find something to occupy your time while she is away. Trust me, I'm doing the same thing this week while my boyfriend has his son. He texted last night to say that he wasn't prepared for the long separations this summer... I laughed, because although I will miss him I was thinking how much I was looking forward to having some time to myself to get some things done. She will be back, before you know it. And, she will be happy to see you. 3
Gaeta Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 So why am I so melancholy just thinking about next week? Somebody help me get the glass half full on this. Thank you! You will be just fine! A week goes by so fast! You are in the infatuation phase that's why it feels so dramatic. It might be a good thing to seperate for a week and get your feet back on the ground :-) At the end of July I am going on a one-week trip with my daughter. It's the very first time I will leave my bf behind after 1,5 year dating (he has to work). Being away will feel like being in caffein withdrawal ! but I know it will give us an opportunity to miss each other and to appreciate each other even more. 1
Author TBM Posted July 5, 2017 Author Posted July 5, 2017 You will be just fine! A week goes by so fast! You are in the infatuation phase that's why it feels so dramatic. It might be a good thing to seperate for a week and get your feet back on the ground :-) At the end of July I am going on a one-week trip with my daughter. It's the very first time I will leave my bf behind after 1,5 year dating (he has to work). Being away will feel like being in caffein withdrawal ! but I know it will give us an opportunity to miss each other and to appreciate each other even more. Thanks for all the responses … except maybe for “I’ll bet you’re not invited because she’s taking her ex-husband.” Hope that guy is never my doctor. There’s one in every crowd. Anyway, I understand I’m being a bit of a putz over this but the heart wants what the heart wants and there’s no fighting with it. I’ll get through the week and it will be even stronger when she comes back. I have never felt this way about anyone. So it’s incredibly great and incredibly difficult (at times). 6
angel.eyes Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 Awww! Enjoy the new relationship. You guys sound wonderful together. Maybe send her a text midway through her vacation wishing her happy times bonding with her kids, and letting her know you miss seeing her sunny smile (or whatever feature you love best).
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