Author Joga_31 Posted July 7, 2017 Author Posted July 7, 2017 Probably. She likes the idea of having her cake & eating it too However she has the power to change it. If she spends her Saturday nights with you I suspect you would happily give up the MeetUp group. If she pouts or goes out more without you, perhaps it's time to determine if this relationship is fulfilling your needs. This is very true.
coolheadal Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 I have joined a meetup group to meet other people. The group goes out on weekends to clubs and bars and is not a hookup group unless it is mutual consent. My gf does spend time with me during the week, but on Saturday likes to dress up and go for drinks with her girlfriends. She has told me she has never slept with anyone and does not feel the need to. Though she has allowed guys to buy her drinks. She claims nothing else happens. I recently came from Hong Kong and met her family and parents. We have been together 1 year and 5 months. Usually though on Saturday nights im left at home and she does not let me join her girls nights. I personally have few friends of my own, because I work so often and don't want a load of friends. I have noticed though that too many times she has left me to be with her friends and I would like to improve myself socially. I am wondering if she will get mad at my choice. Are you two serious or are you to just playing in open relationship. She's going out with girls - THAT'S CALLED GIRLS NIGHT OUT Why are you supporting that. I guess you just don't want anyone to be with then. Look she's not there for you on the weekend. Like she's looking to have a party without you and hanging out with girls with no guys of their own. She's with you wake up stop this or just get out of that toxic relationship and feeding her unhealthy ego. Why in the world do you need to be in a meetup group to meet other women. This is so chaos! She allows men to buy her drinks, dinner and where you are at home. HELLO WAKE-UP she's using you. I know about this and I will never be in anything like that again. You should listen and put a stop to this or just get rid of her tell her to pack her things and move out. You are looking to be with someone full time not part time. you don't get it friend she's still looking and your still waiting for her to come home. That's no relationship that's nonsense!
Author Joga_31 Posted July 7, 2017 Author Posted July 7, 2017 Are you two serious or are you to just playing in open relationship. She's going out with girls - THAT'S CALLED GIRLS NIGHT OUT Why are you supporting that. I guess you just don't want anyone to be with then. Look she's not there for you on the weekend. Like she's looking to have a party without you and hanging out with girls with no guys of their own. She's with you wake up stop this or just get out of that toxic relationship and feeding her unhealthy ego. Why in the world do you need to be in a meetup group to meet other women. This is so chaos! She allows men to buy her drinks, dinner and where you are at home. HELLO WAKE-UP she's using you. know about this and I will never be in anything like that again. You should listen and put a stop to this or just get rid of her tell her to pack her things and move out. You are looking to be with someone full time not part time. you don't get it friend she's still looking and your still waiting for her to come home. That's no relationship that's nonsense! I just met her family in Hong Kong.
coolheadal Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 I just met her family in Hong Kong. So what! Are you dating her family or are you seriously just want to hang out with her family on the weekend instead of her. Listen you want to continue with her being allowed by you to keep partying without you on weekend. Part time girl friend if any. You allow other men to buy her drinks, dinner laugh, maybe kiss or more. You don't know what you allowing to happen and you don't know what's really going on. She won't let you tag along because she's up to no good and doesn't want you to see her fun side. WAKE-UP!
Author Joga_31 Posted July 7, 2017 Author Posted July 7, 2017 So what! Are you dating her family or are you seriously just want to hang out with her family on the weekend instead of her. Listen you want to continue with her being allowed by you to keep partying without you on weekend. Part time girl friend if any. You allow other men to buy her drinks, dinner laugh, maybe kiss or more. You don't know what you allowing to happen and you don't know what's really going on. She won't let you tag along because she's up to no good and doesn't want you to see her fun side. WAKE-UP! Do you think that much destructon can occur on saturday night, when the rest of the week she seeing me 3-4 times a week. I actually travelled to China it was fun
coolheadal Posted July 7, 2017 Posted July 7, 2017 Do you think that much destructon can occur on saturday night, when the rest of the week she seeing me 3-4 times a week. I actually travelled to China it was fun Yes because it happen to me, and I was just like you in denial. But I didn't have help or support you do with us here including me. You want her 100% why do settle for 50% of her. Man this is not right. China nice but you have understand she's should be with you on weekend. So your okay with her dating and seeing other guys? She might call it something else. But really women using men to have fun with. Not right. Do you know what's going to happen next. She could dump you for some other guy. What would you say to us then? Listen maybe you should learn from this so let this continue on each week and then you come back and tells us how you feel about it. Right ow looks like you okay with it because you traveled to China but you didn't take her with you how come?
Author Joga_31 Posted July 7, 2017 Author Posted July 7, 2017 Yes because it happen to me, and I was just like you in denial. But I didn't have help or support you do with us here including me. You want her 100% why do settle for 50% of her. Man this is not right. China nice but you have understand she's should be with you on weekend. So your okay with her dating and seeing other guys? She might call it something else. But really women using men to have fun with. Not right. Do you know what's going to happen next. She could dump you for some other guy. What would you say to us then? Listen maybe you should learn from this so let this continue on each week and then you come back and tells us how you feel about it. Right ow looks like you okay with it because you traveled to China but you didn't take her with you how come? no no, I went to Hong Kong and met her over there she is currently on vacation and left Canada on May 3. I met her up on May 21st and while I was in Hong Kong me and her stayed at a hotel for two weeks and she introduced me to her mom and dad her cousins and friends, she also showed me Shenzhen China. I came back on June 4. I actually had the time of my life meeting her family and all the sights, sounds and buzz of China. She has also met my family as well at least the immediate, like my brother, mother and father. Im just wondering if the saturday night with her friends is ok? I sleep over like 3-4 times a week I do not live with her because the city is expensive over here in Canada.
Author Joga_31 Posted July 7, 2017 Author Posted July 7, 2017 today is the day of the event, I am considering not going, I feel kind of unsure now since I feel kind of bad that I will be dancing and drinking with other woman that are not my gf. However I am bored at home and tired of playing sports and fitness and work, Im not going to sleep with another woman, but im aware these type of places can definitely lead to temptation. also my gf is coming back in like 3 days from China. I just feel kind of lame I don't have my group of guys to clubbing with on saturday night. I do have other hobbies like sports and video games, my socialization is playing basketball or soccer with people I know from the neighbourhood or my one buddy from highschool and my brother. Im debating if its a good idea I joined this meetup place.
Author Joga_31 Posted July 17, 2017 Author Posted July 17, 2017 If my girlfriend spends time with me 3-4 sometimes 5 days a week, but likes to go clubbing on Saturday nights with her girls and has stated she is just hanging with her girlfriends and having fun with them. Is this ok? she lets me know where she goes and when she has left usually. Is this more of a matter of trust? or she is flat out disrespectful?
smackie9 Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 Re-posting your question will get you the same results. She's happy with what she is doing. To some it might be disrespectful, some would say hey it's her life let her live it, some would say dump her already if this doesn't sit well with you. Dump her already.....there are other girls out there that have no interest in clubbing with the girls every weekend to flirt and have drinks bought for her. 1
Author Joga_31 Posted July 17, 2017 Author Posted July 17, 2017 Re-posting your question will get you the same results. She's happy with what she is doing. To some it might be disrespectful, some would say hey it's her life let her live it, some would say dump her already if this doesn't sit well with you. Dump her already.....there are other girls out there that have no interest in clubbing with the girls every weekend to flirt and have drinks bought for her. I can't tell if she just having that day with her girls as a time to have her space and hang out. Or its a time to let completely loose and have one night stands.
scooby-philly Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 So OP, Your situation presents several interesting discuss points. As I've worked, dated, and made friends up and down the socio-economic, racial, ethnic, religious, and geographic ladders I've learned that everyone has their own set of assumptions, expectations, and wants/needs when it comes to everything in their lives - from their relationships, to their social lives, etc. The first question I have for you is - is your last point indicative of why this is an issue for you? Is there a trust issue in your mind? If so, why? (FYI - none of this advice is meant to judge - simply lead you through a mental exercise). If it is a trust issue - have you been cheated on in the past? Or at least suspect it? Has she cheated on you before, told you or you found out she cheated on someone else before, or are there signs she might be doing it? If not, then what else is causing you to resent this? There's nothing wrong with going out with the girls (or the guys) or a couple having somewhat separate friends. But....it is also a question IN CONTEXT. Meaning, if she's going out when she shouldn't or her actions betray her words - then there might be cause for resentment (like complaining about it all the time before, then talking about nothing else and saying how fun it is for the next 3 days after) If it's not a trust issue then what else? Are you upset because she's not spending time with you on Saturday? Does it happen every week? A set # of times a month? Did you two ever spend time on a Saturday night together? Is it a money issue? Do you think she's spending when she shouldn't? I could keep going but you get my point - you have to analyze and get to the bottom of why YOUR upset. And after that the key and only thing you have to do to start addressing the issue is to make her aware of how her behavior is making you feel - and own YOUR feelings.
Gaeta Posted July 17, 2017 Posted July 17, 2017 I can't tell if she just having that day with her girls as a time to have her space and hang out. Or its a time to let completely loose and have one night stands. It doesn't matter why she is doing it, The matter is are you ok with it or not? If my bf would want to be with his buddies every Saturday night it would not be ok with me EVEN if it was something innocent like watching Saturday night game. My idea of a relationship is we spend our prime time together. If he could not give it to me I would not date him and find someone capable of dating me the way I need to.
avvril3000 Posted July 18, 2017 Posted July 18, 2017 It's absolutely fine that she does this!!! It's absolutely healthy that she has time away from you, and with her own friends. And so, she likes to g clubbing and dance... who cares? She's being upfront of you and transparent with what she is doing. Trust her and let her have fun. She will love you more for giving her freedom and trusting her with that freedom. If you make it a problem, she will resent you.
BaileyB Posted July 18, 2017 Posted July 18, 2017 (edited) I can't tell if she just having that day with her girls as a time to have her space and hang out. Or its a time to let completely loose and have one night stands. Well, you need to find out. When I go out with my girlfriends... my guy knows who they are, he knows where we go, he knows what time I'll be home, and I don't come home drunk. Can you say the same about your girlfriend? If he wants to go out with the guys, I'm totally fine with that. However, I don't think that either would be ok if it happened EVERY Saturday night. Have you talked to her about this and asked her to go out with you on some Saturday nights? What was her response? Look, your girlfriend wants to spend every Saturday night partying with her girlfriends... that is selfish and immature. But, her behavior is only a problem if you think it's a problem. What do YOU want from your girlfriend, your relationship? And know - I'm trying really hard not to say anything about the immature comment that it may be time to let loose and have one night stands... I'm not sure that either of you is mature enough or ready to have a serious relationship. Edited July 18, 2017 by BaileyB
preraph Posted July 18, 2017 Posted July 18, 2017 Just getting a man doesn't mean a woman gives up her girlfriends. She should spend some time with them. She's not being disrespectful as long as she's telling you where she's going and letting you know if she's running late. You have no reason at all to think she's hooking up with anyone, right?
rushed Posted July 18, 2017 Posted July 18, 2017 10 months later and about 9 posts of the same subject every time. Why are you still with her? You're obviously unhappy with her behavior. I'm not saying what she's doing is wrong or right, but you are not comfortable with it. You're not going to change her. Either break up already or just accept the fact that she goes out to the club with her friends every Saturday. 2
BaileyB Posted July 18, 2017 Posted July 18, 2017 10 months later and about 9 posts of the same subject every time. Why are you still with her? You're obviously unhappy with her behavior. I'm not saying what she's doing is wrong or right, but you are not comfortable with it. You're not going to change her. Either break up already or just accept the fact that she goes out to the club with her friends every Saturday. This is the bottom line... Make a decision already. Accept that your girl likes to party with her girlfriends or move on... 1
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